In 1997 I had just moved in to a new apartment with my two week old baby girl. I was going through a rough time, a couple of months before I had separated from my husband, we had been married 9 months and I was 7 months pregnant.
I had had a c-section and it was pretty hard for me to move around so next to my bed on my night stand I always kept a thermos with warm water and a can of formula, the baby in her bassinet was right beside my bed. I also kept food for myself on the night stand, I was living on "snacks", I didn't have a car or anybody to call to get me food.
I had been in the apartment for maybe 2 or 3 days when I woke up about 6:00 am one day to the baby fussing needing to be fed, I made her bottle, picked her up and fed her. I noticed that I was extremely tired and felt achy all over; I barely had the strength to put her back in her bassinet. I was freezing and couldn't stop shaking I was running a very high fever. I had a c-section and I think something was wrong.
It took everything I had to get up, still wrapped in a blanket I went to the bathroom turned on the hot water and went in still with my clothes on and wrapped in the blanket. I remember passing out and then waking up with the water still running. Soaking wet I crawled back to bed, I left the blanket in the shower and didn't have the strength to get another one from the closet or for that matter change into dry clothes.
I was in so much pain that I remember thinking this was it, I was going to die. I remember thinking that my baby was going to die from starvation, I had locked the door with a dead bolt, nobody knew where we were, I didn't even have a phone, I tried but didn't have the strength to get up and get help.
I was beginning to lose consciousness when I felt a blanket being pulled over me, I felt someone pull my hair back away from my face and pat my head, I tried to open my eyes, tried to talk but it was too much effort. I remember I would come in and out of it, I would hear my baby starting to fuss and a woman's soft voice whisper and the noise the bassinet makes when it is being rocked. When I finally woke up I was confused and disoriented.
I sat up and didn't know how much time had passed, I froze when I thought about my baby. I was to scared to turn and look at her because I thought she was going to be dead. I snapped out of it and touched her and I could see she was breathing, I was so relieved. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:45 AM. I had been out for almost 24 hours. My baby woke up a few minutes after, hungry but otherwise perfectly fine.
This was the first experience of many I would have through out the years with whom I think is my daughter's guardian angel. Later I would like to share a few other experiences with you and ask you what you think because even though that day she was nice to me I did go through some very scary moments where I thought she was trying to hurt me. I'll save those for later