This has been happening since I was old enough to cry literally. My mom is sensitive as well as every middle child on her moms side of the family. Just so happens that they were all females and I being the oldest of my moms children and the only male it just happened to be passed to me.
When I was an infant if my mom left the room and had a baby monitor on, it would instantly go to static, followed by me screaming pale white face and staring at one part of the room just screaming. I guess it only happened a few times because she's only told me of 3.
After I turned 8 I started seeing more and more entities. Either pure white blobs or black shadows walking around. I have even heard a few call me a mistake, or a doll, it still happens it was just more shocking then.
Skip a few more years it was pretty repetitive up through then, this is now when I turned 12. I would go too sleep and wake up with scratches all over my body. I woke up once with what seemed to be a burn mark on my back and it was shaped with a hand. When I showed my mom she brought me too a psychiatrist/ psychologist to figure out what was going on. They had diagnosed me as Bipolar type 1 rapid cycling mixed mania, clinically depressed an schitzoaffective.
She didn't listen to that and one Sunday after my churches service she brought me down to talk to the pastor. He had told her that I was touched by both an angel and a darker entity and refused too share what it was. He also made me stay for the early afternoon mass where my mind and body literally weren't mine anymore. Every time he said Jesus or God my body temp would shoot up 5 degrees until I was sweating bullets and passed out in the isle. He released the mass and did a blessing on not only me but everyone in the house and told my mom I might have some repressed memories which are calling them to me.
Since then I have attempted suicide 3 times and all three times I passed, I know I have but I came back with a cloud of warmth around me.
I've been having flash backs and night terrors recently as in the past 3 months, of me as a toddler over my moms friends house and she was molesting me. I know its real because I can see every color and feel every thing she's doing to me. I have tried to come too terms with it but I'm just disgusted at myself that I blocked it out until now after so much hell has been caused.
It still happens every time I hear God or Jesus and writing this I have my window wide open and a fan on me. I stopped going to mass because of this but I still believe there is good above and all around.
I haven't started taking the meds until recently and it has been starting to escalate
I also know that if you commit suicide you don't automatically go to hell. Its the hate you carry with you when you pass that makes you go to hell or where ever you believe. Well maybe its just me it happened too
Thanks I just needed to get the general happenings off of my chest. There are more vivid things happening but I needed to get this out.
Read 
Loading comments....
I know a lot of time has passed but I would just like to put this post to you:
What happened to you when you were a small child is not your fault. You think and feel like it is, and there is always a reason why you could have managed it better, done something differently or been happier altogether if it never happened. People are flawed, and such is it that Mothers are flawed. It is not an excuse, it is a life rule.
Nobodies life is perfect, in fact, most of the people in the world live in poverty, anguish, undernourishment, bad homes with abuse and unhappy marriages. If you can see what you can possibly do for yourself, in a good way, where it be looking after yourself better, sleeping at a decent hour / getting good rest, and doing something that you've always wanted to do no matter how trivial, you'll see that you can be a better person.
Because of everything that has happened to you, I am going to have to say this *eeek! You are probably going to HAVE to, at least, attend masses or a religion of your choice, once in a while. Try once a week or even twice or week, or once a month but go and sit there and see what this "religion" thing has got going for it. If you don't dig it, you can always go and take up something more fun BUT it must feed your spiritual side, in other words, make you happy.
If you're only reading this now, it's not too late to do what I've said above. And, I hope that you've found a medication that works for you. Don't believe EVERYTHING a Shrink tells you, like if they say, "you're bipolar 1", rather go back and think to yourself, "am I crazy?" You were not crazy all of your life. You passed through school, or your early grades I'm sure.
You did see things but I'm hoping you've found out how much of what you experienced was linked to not having stability or love as a child, and how much of it is linked to nothing at all.
The rest? You'll have to give us a new post before we can help you with anything else you might want to talk about.