There are a lot of Incubus stories buzzing around. Some lead to confusions or questions about what was going on, some people find resolution, and some people simply are seeking help to get it to stop. Not too long ago (a few months ago), I was one of those that just wanted it to never happen again.
I've been sensitive since turning 7, and since the age of 12 I've had issues with Incubi. They have followed me from state to state and countless cities to cities. They attack in absolute silence and I honestly feel that they make you "want" to feel the sensation of being satisfied. None the less, they are demons and it is rape. Just because they disable you in the mind versus giving you a roofie does not make it any less than an assault.
The sporadic on and off attacks use to come in waves. Every other night to every night. Being okay with what was happening (sounds disgusting, yes) to crying and begging for it to stop. Once while in college I could feel it digging its nails in my back while doing its business. Myself in sleep paralysis, completely aware of what was going on and no ability to stop it. At one point even choked.
When I tell you that it has the most deep soothing rhythmic voice, I mean it. Displays of kindness that confuse after taking what is only yours to give. Such as lying next to you on your pillow and speaking softly and being consoling. Wrapping an arm around you. A gentle kiss on the forehead. Making it seem more like a wanted lover than enemy.
From one wave to the next I did not know what to do until the last one. I am now in a very happy relationship that I am very protective of, so when an Incubus that had been making casual stops by room at night thought it could try at it again (usually I force myself out of sleep paralysis by trying to "shake" out of it) for the first time I physically fought back. In reported similar stories, you feel as if something is there even though its not. You feel like you are in a dream but you are awake.
They make you "want" them and sort of give yourself up. If you give the opposite emotion they will try harder. In this case he became as real as anyone standing in front of me except invisible. I was fully awake and could see my knees spread apart by some invisible hand. I could feel someone lying behind me asking, "Why won't you give yourself to me" in that melodic deep voice from the past. An earlier experience while I was sleeping on my stomach it was on my back and when I reached behind to see what it was it grabbed and held my hand. I could feel four fingers and a thumb. So this time, I know if I can touch it, it can touch me. Since I was lying on my side I reached my hand behind my thigh to feel another's. I moved my hand up to feel a torso and what felt like cloth.
As it was too busy trying to get what it wanted it seemed to not be bothered by my exploration of its skinny little body (very skinny) so I took my nails and dug them into his thigh as hard as I could. If I could have gotten blood I would have. When he didn't stop, I dug deeper into its rubbery tough flesh. It didn't scream, it shook, and left. Then immediately came back in front of me. This time I had to fight with my eyes closed afraid to see what was in front of me. I kicked, I screamed, I told it that it's not welcome, I pushed, I shoved... And it left.
Earlier today it tried again. I could feel it touch my arm with a single finger to see if I was in paralysis... But I know without a doubt what I do not want and that is to be raped.