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My Past Life? Or A Childish Imagination

 

This is my first submission and I hope to find some sort of help.

I'm 15 years old and I'm autistic and I used to talk about my 'real' family when I was angry at my parents. I was only younger than 5 years old when I started speaking of this other family.

I remember having arguments and awful fights with my father since the talk of me having a real family angered him greatly. I used to point out places where this 'other family' lived or went to. My parents one day decided to ask me about this 'other' family. And I plain out said "They are all dead". Being the tender age of 4 years old I'm not exposed to anything such as death or the possibility of paranormal happenings. I was just a child.

My mother reckons I am a sensetive to the paranormal, my own opinion of my 'gift' is that I have picked up the energy or the memory of a spirit who lived there previously. That spirit is probably a child who's family tragically passed or was murdered and the child was moved to a new family. That is how I felt at the time of this speculation of me not belonging to my family.

11 years later my sensitivity has increased and ghosts are becoming more apparent and more noticable. I can't sleep without some sort of light. I have developed insomnia due to my fear of the darkness and I'm way too scared to venture into a dark room without someone with me. My mother now thinks the ghosts from my childhood have left the house and I'm exaggerating. Perhaps I am, I'm not sure. The idea of me being followed by a ghost has consumed my life and caused me to be afraid of being alone, the dark and facing the spirit. I'm not sure if the ghost is dangerous or not I just know from my experiences that it wants something from me. Be it friendship or revenge from a past life I'm not sure.

I need advice on how I can get over this fear and get on with my life and I can finally have a restful sleep instead of being awake shaking with fear.

I ask that you are open minded and sympathetic for my situation as a child. Advice will be deeply appreciated.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, InsomiaDriven, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

InsomiaDriven (2 stories) (8 posts)
 
4 years ago (2013-04-18)
Hello! Its been a while, i'm 16 years old now and there is no longer any activity of sorts, thanks for sticking by me I really appreciate it.

And Miracles, no I did not have help writing this/ xD
haterboy (1 stories) (4 posts)
 
5 years ago (2013-01-10)
InsomniaDriven I myself think I have a sort of ability. I believe that I can manipulate things with my mind and I also think I'm a medium of some sorts. I can sometimes get a tense feeling in my head and I believe it is spirits but I'm not 100% sure on either one of those. But I firmly believe it's me. I really hope to hear from you soon and know about your current situation.
PrettyAngel42 (guest)
 
6 years ago (2012-02-04)
I would like to say that I'm glad that someone understands something I kind of go threw! When I'm scared I watch T.V before I go to bed maybe that will help...oh, and read and watch positive things (No scary shows,books, are movies) and maybe just think positive and pray to god to take this bad feeling and sprit and put them to rest. (If you believe in god)
InsomiaDriven (2 stories) (8 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-23)
I think its clear that a past life is involved within my experience.
My mother told me that I used to point out where my real family lived near some farm houses and I predicted a house fire which happened a few years later.

I think there is more to my gift than meets the eye
anneke8 (10 stories) (274 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-23)
I think this child is putting his/her memories into your mind perhaps. It is showing you his/her past life, and you think it is your past life. I can be wrong, but it is worth looking into.
InsomiaDriven (2 stories) (8 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2012-01-18)
Thanks for all your comments!

UPDATE: Since then (since this was from when I was a child) My 'powers' have developed and the name Elizabeth comes to mind when thinking of the child. And I think a new entity is trying to contact me using interesting ways. By scaring me. I think this new entity tries to get my attention by walking up and down the stairs and corridors at night and moving things late at night.

I'm not sure if this ghost is either evil, mischievous or another child just trying to be friendly. This entity watches me as I sleep which is why I have developed insomnia. As I am too afraid to close my eyes as I feel the entity come closer to me as I sleep.

I will try opening the curtains and such tomorrow morning. I have no access to a bible since I am not religious. Religion isn't the path I wish to choose. Please don't try to convert me saying
"God will save you God will send them away"
Thats just rude. Please dont.
HauntedTomboy (17 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2012-01-18)
sounds definitely like a past life. 😉 I like your stories, I hope your paranoramal stuff is not so scary like some of mine

Read some of my posts when there up 😁
InsomiaDriven (2 stories) (8 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-17)
That lady Carly sounds really interesting I can tell she is an inspiration. I will check her out.
clever210 (3 stories) (189 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2012-01-17)
Regarding autism, I saw this link on someone's facebook page and thought I would share. This young lady has autism and cannot speak, but can communicate though spelling (typing).

Http://carlysvoice.com/
InsomiaDriven (2 stories) (8 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-17)
Oh and Thanks for the compliments of my writings skills. English and poetry are my favourite things. I take pride in being able to speak and well type in adult level <3
InsomiaDriven (2 stories) (8 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-17)
Thanks for your comments!
Nysa. Thats exactly the entity I was feeling. A child. I'm not sure who it is though.

And to those curious I have shown some Psychic tendancies to be able to predict something to happen be it bad or good or can just know something which I shouldn't. So I'm guessing I am a psycic to some extent.

I'm not a holy person I don't own a bible. I'm not too confident about joining a church my life is just too complicated for something as to join something.
I will see what I can do in terms of the bible.

Thanks for the readers having a open mind and I really appreciate the wonderful comments!

~ Charlotte
enigmaticsoul (17 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2012-01-16)
Miracles: I didn't think what you said was in any way stereotyping at all and nor did I find any offence to it it was obviously sharing what you already knew and thought were to be true in which case is true in most cases depending on the individual:) additionally thanks for admitting you don't know much. Some people pretend to know about things and that really irritates me. There is nothing wrong with not knowing something.

Hope to hear from you soon InsomniaDriven:)
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
+1
6 years ago (2012-01-16)
enigmaticsoul - thank you for helping me understand more about autism. It's sad, in my case, to think I was married into a family with an autistic child and learned nothing from it. Except how truly wonderful and loving my ex-sister-in-law was and how much I miss her.

Anyway, thank you again. I don't like stereotyping people and the more I learn, the better I am able to understand.

There are several of us on here who believe, as granny said, that autistic people might be more sensitive to the paranormal. At least, with the stories they have shared, this seems to be an idea at least worth considering.

Thank you for sharing that part of your personal life with us.
rookdygin (24 stories) (4318 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-16)
InsomiaDriven,

This is the Cleansing that has been refered to, this way you will not have to search for it. (enigmaticsoul...would you care to share your experience with us... Or did you use the Cleansing 'just because'?)

Recipe for a Home Cleansing/Shielding... (allow for two or 3 days to complete)

Day one: Open all curtains window and doors with screens installed, let fresh air and sunshine into the home. Have all closets, cabinets and other 'dark spaces' open so that as much natural light as possible can enter those spaces. After 2-3 hours take a broom and 'sweep' out each room (this is symbolic and you do not have to really sweep) focus your thoughts on sweeping (pushing) out all negative energies / entities /thoughts. Close home up after completing each room of your home... Please do not forget your garage if you have one. (Optional) Light incense (sandalwood or Dragons-blood works well for me) and let aroma fill the home, and/or play a tape that contains your favorite Church/Positive, Upbeat (songs that give you good thoughts) songs before you begin sweeping.

Day two (or three): Once again open all curtains, windows and doors. Take a White candle (Optional) to the center most point of the home, sit on the floor and place candle in front of you. Light the candle (visualize a white ball of light) and then focus on the flame... Visualize the flame (white light) filled with positive thoughts, energy. (Say a prayer at this time if you so desire... Ask for cleansing positive energy to fill the candles flame/white light). Hold this 'image' in your mind and then visualize the flame (light) slowly expanding outward, visualize it filling the room your in, every corner and 'dark space'. Continue to visualize it expanding...it's outer edges pushing away (burning away) any and all negative energies/entities out and away from each room in your home. Once you have visualized this flame (light) filling your entire home, picture it expanding to your property lines. Hold this image in your mind for a few moments then visualize 'anchoring' this flame (light) where you are sitting which is the center most point of your home. Once you have done this. Take a deep breath, relax a few moments and then blow out the candle. (If you didn't use a candle just let yourself relax a moment or two.) "

Now you can create a shield for yourself using the 'home shield' technique but instead of focusing on your home visualize the 'flame' simply surrounding you instead of your home... Best time to do this is after a nice shower using a rosemary scented soap (rosemary is good for purification and protection.)

Respectfully,

Rook
enigmaticsoul (17 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2012-01-16)
Hi everyone, this is my first post. I've been reading everyone's experiences for months now. I have enjoyed many many of them. From comical to ones that pull on the strings of a heart. There are also ones unfortunately where I have to say BS and it's usually also when someone (I cannot remember who) also agrees and refers to this as pulling out the BS blanket. I have had a several spiritual experiences. I enjoyed reading this story.

Miracles: I'd love to clear up a few things about autism. You're right in saying there are several types of it hence "autistic spectrums disorder" I and my son have aspergers. Each person who has been diagnosed the same diagnosis will be completely different to the other. My son has a special interest and obsession with numbers (drives me crazy lol) trains, cars etc. His writing is particularly distorted and motor skill are a little uncoordinated. It can be said that we are a little socially awkward etc. Miracles if you have any questions feel free to ask. We are also very sensitive to spirits etc.

Insomnia Driven: I enjoyed your story immensely. It was well written. I also do advise to speak to a person of a faith you are comfortable with etc, it's not healthy especially for a young person to be totally consumed in any subject matter. There are a lot of people on here that will be able to point you in the right direction and I have seen give excellent advice. Rook's cleansing also works btw. I tried it lol... Pls keep us posted:)
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-15)
InsomiaDriven,
First I would like to say, Welcome to ygs! Glad you could find us.
You have already received some very good advice from so many of our members that there is barely anything left to say. I do feel that you may be focusing too heavily on the paranormal for your own good though. Sometimes we can get that way, lot's of people do. If your mom is to the point of frustration over it, then maybe that's a sign for you to step away from it a bit. It is very easy to get swept away in all of this. The trick is knowing when you've let it take you too far, and being able to back off. You sound as if tou may have hit that point. Nothing to be ashamed of there, we've all done it. Because so much of it is shrouded in mystery, it's easy to let it carry us away with it. The trick is finding something equally as fascinating to help get your mind off it so much. For me that is metal detecting. There's nothing like finding stuff that ends up being valuable. It's pretty cool to reach into the dirt and pull up a ring or bracelet made of gold. Or even old coins, and I've found many interesting and valuable ones too. It also gets me out in the fresh air where I can think much clearer. I'm not saying you would like the same hobby, I'm just saying you could benefit from one.
I hope I haven't crossed any lines here, but all the other advice has been given and your story has touched me so.
Thank you for sharing, I hope you find the advice in all of this that will help.

Jav ❤ 😊 ❤
Mercury93 (5 stories) (18 posts)
-1
6 years ago (2012-01-15)
Maybe try wearing a protective pendant when you sleep. My sister and wear one at all times, especially when we sleep... Or try sleeping super early? She does that, it helps in most ways.
spectae (1 stories) (41 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-15)
Hi InsomiaDriven,

You request advice on how to overcome a fear, being darkness. Fear of the darkness is logical... As we cannot see well or at all in the dark, if we move, we may hurt ourselves. So the first point is that fear of darkness is in my view, normal and healthy.

That said, it is rarely so dark that something cannot be seen. Then it becomes a question of degrees of caution of the dark.

Your question as I understand it relates to fear of the dark in the form that something is there, unseen, which may cause potential harm. The good and bad news is that such potential somethings are likely there in the light too!:D

Still this does not path a way forward to what you are seeking. So may I suggest one possible solution, to get used to the dark by degrees. For example, sleep in a well lit room, to the extend that you are comfortable and in your own time, over days, weeks or months, gradually reduce the amount of light.

This way you build experience and confidence.

I have no doubt that we are surrounded by a vast spiritual world, and I am cautious of the dark, not scared. Cautious so I don't bump into things, but spirits and the like don't bother me. What are they going to do after all?! I am a spirit too as are we all!

I am far more scared of heights and other things... And somewhere down the list is darkness and still further is the unseen. There are good and evil beings there, so it isn't like everything is out to get us.

To conclude, I would gradually reduce the light at night over time, as to what you are comfortable with.

PS

There is nothing wrong with a lit room to sleep in... Just think of those persons near the Arctic Pole!

All the best!

:D
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
+2
6 years ago (2012-01-15)
InsomniaDriven - I don't have anything to add that the others haven't already. You've been given some great advice. I just want to say something about your autism.

Admittedly, I am no expert and honestly know next to nothing about autism except what I've witnessed first-hand. So when I say "I'm seriously impressed by your writing skills," I mean I am seriously impressed.

At first, upon reading your story, I thought perhaps someone had written it for you, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But a knowledgeable friend has told me there are varying degrees of autism. My ex-sister-in-law is autistic and cannot hold conversation. She repeats the same sentence over and over until something new catches her attention. I met her when she was 4; she is now 26.

I can't begin to understand, so I won't pretend I do. I'll just leave this here and say again, you have been given some great advice by a couple of people. Hopefully there is something there that will help you with your situation.
lady-glow (7 stories) (1515 posts)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-14)
There is a book that, I think, could help you to read:
Second Sight, by Judith Orloff.

The author is a psychic - psychiatrist.

Good luck ❤
naysmithe (2 posts)
-1
6 years ago (2012-01-14)
The first thing that you should know is that although it does freak you out, the more you show fear the more powerful the spirits will become. Thus the more you take precautions the more that the spirits around you will be able to do. For example a spirit that is at my house (that I'm almost confident is a demonic figure) had been scarring my parents and brother. It got to a point where it could force my door open and push me.

Second, although it's a hard task to get rid of a spirit you can make the spirit abide by your terms, you need to sit down with anyone else in your family that has had experiences and say something along the lines of you have to leave us alone or leave.

One last thing DO NOT FOR ANY REASON NEVER EVER USE A OUIJA BOARD OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT it will create a portal in which spirits benign or malevolent can enter your house
Moonwalker (5 posts)
-1
6 years ago (2012-01-14)
I understand what you mean. My grandmother's house is haunted by many ghosts though, I have only ever seen one with my bar eyes.

I remember being alone in a room and my family was in the living room at the time talking away. I was playing a game and all I seen was someone standing there watching me at the corner of my eye.

It looked like a man with a boiler hat. I couldn't tell because, it was a silhouette and after glancing over to look, they closed the door real fast and that has been the last I have seen them.

I watch ghost shows on tv and I have grown to like taking pictures and writing. So, I knew how to identify an orb and took one picture while being there many years later.

Sure enough, there was an orb. Because of this, there's a lot of activity and I don't know what to do about it.

Just let them know and show them that you will be ok with them and they won't do anything. I have tried just talking out loud randomly saying things to them and it seems to be working. Lol!
lynrinth (guest)
 
6 years ago (2012-01-14)
So sorry you have to go through something like this. But there are a lot of people on this site who care, and may give advice that may have worked for them, and may think it might work for someone else. It's just up to you what feels right and think might help you. Others may express opinions about such things, but hey, that's what makes this a great site. There's
always something to 'discuss' about. Just hang on, be as strong as you can. As scary as this is, I believe in the long run you will prevail.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3311 posts) mod
+2
6 years ago (2012-01-14)
InsomniaDriven: Some, myself included, believe that Autistic individuals are more sensitive to the paranormal, and at times could be considered psychic to some extent... I agree with Nysa to seek a professional's opinion... In the meantime, one of the things you could try is to create your own protective "bubble"...

Http://www.msu.edu/~rohdemar/earth/shields.html

Http://www.abundancetapestry.com/how-to-create-a-personal-energy-shield

Please keep us posted! ❤
Nysa (4 stories) (685 posts)
+3
6 years ago (2012-01-14)
Latty your advice is inappropriate. You have no idea if this poster belongs to a church already, or practices a non-Christian religion. If praying helped you, great, by all means share with others that it worked for you. But don't be so presumptuous & evangelical in your posts, it's simply rude!
Nysa (4 stories) (685 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2012-01-14)
Anything that consumes your life is a serious problem. Since nothing seems to be overtly threatening you & has never hurt you I would say that what you really need to deal with is a psychological issue, more than a ghost issue. If you are able to take some protective measures that may help you start to get a handle on the fear though. One of the regular members here has a method that he & others here often post, I think it would be a great first step for you. I am sure someone will post it for you. If learning protective measures is not enough don't hesitate to seek the same help people with other phobias get. See a therapist or psychologist. If you can find one that at least allows for the possibility that ghosts exist that would be nice, but at heart I think that fear is the problem, not what you are afraid of. So any professional that deals with phobias can help. As for your childhood "fantasy," it seems plausible that you were tapping into the thoughts & feelings of a deceased child, or remembering a past life your soul really lived. I have heard similar accounts before, they do make you wonder.

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