Ghostly Voices

Hey Adove,

Deepest condolences. I agree with a lot of commenters on here-- you already know what to do, and already know what your parents mean by saying "yes."

That being said, loved ones are known to still actively watch over us and communicate whenever there is something troubling us. My grandpa, who passed away when I was 9, used to visit my dreams often during my teenage years (we had just immigrated, and I was angsty). Sometimes he'd stay long enough to listen to me, or sometimes just long enough to give me a hug.

It's reassuring to know they're still watching out for us.

-E.

If you feel it is your parents you hear and you know they are trying to warn you, then it's true. It's not weird or crazy at all to speak to them, you should especially if it's comforting to you, cause see, they can hear you.

Don't feel guilty about breaking that promise, I'm sure she understands and she doesn't want you to feel bad, she knows you did the best you could for her and your father and they're both very proud of you.

I honestly believe that your parents are letting you know they are there. When my mum passed 18 months ago I would hear her call my name. I also would get little signs that at first I thought was down to my desire to speak with her and my imagination. I have also had trouble with relations that great a lot of negativity around me and in my life. I used to withdraw from them but me being me would then feel guilty, combative or like I was causing the issue. After my mum passed I found that whenever this person would try and get in contact with me my phone would simply not answer their call. I would be pressing the green phone icon and it just wouldn't accept. Sometimes when it did all I got was phone interference but when I had calls from other people immediately after there would be nothing wrong with my call. Withdrawing from this person has been nothing but a blessing in my personal situation. I do think that they help us put boundaries in place or protect us from negative influences. I obviously cannot say, not knowing the situation, if it is right to stay away from this person or even if it is possible, just that I relate to everything you have posted. For me personally it was a blessing. I am so sorry for loss but I truly believe the ones we love never really leave us and these things that happen are their way of letting us know they are there still looking out for us. ❤ ❤

Oh wow! I do believe both of your parents are warning you. I'd stay away from the creepy in law. I don't think it's weird that you talk to your folks, I do it from time to time too. It brings me comfort. If you are hearing them say "yes," I'd listen. ❤ I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless and thank you for sharing your story.

Haven thank you for your words. Everyone seems to say the same about my folks and about him, I thank God at this moment we are states apart. I am so glad that my folks are still looking out for me.

MrsRamsey Thank you for your wise words as far as the creepy in-law.
I also had a dream about my sister, it was creepy. She stood there staring at me. I couldn't over the feeling that something was wrong. She gave me one of those creepy smiles before running at me. Gave me shivers for a while that I couldn't go over to her house for months.

AugustaM, Thank you for words. I am glad you shared your story of a creepy in-law. My sister has asked me several times in the past to try to get to know him but it always ends up bad. I love my sister but I can't deal with him. I always feel like I'm walking on egg shells around him. I will trust my dreams and what my folks are trying to tell me.

My mother and I have been down the road with nasty extended family - my father's father (I refrain from using any more familial terms where that side of the family is concerned) was nothing but a dirty old tyrant. He would molest my mother in front of me (I would have been less than 11 as we hardly saw him after the divorce) AND my father - and my father did nothing. She didn't know what to do because he was family - she tried out every self blame tactic she possibly could to attempt to normalize the situation. But she finally came to the realization that, no - it wasn't her being paranoid, or inviting a situation or anything of the sort - he was a bad person, in-law or not. Family status doesn't necessarily make someone a good person. Trust your gut and don't let their status guilt you into a negative situation.

adove,

Don't beat yourself up over having to put your mother in assisted living. You know that even though she made you promise, she forgives you. The whole business of dying looks like nothing to be upset about where she is now.

I agree with everyone else who posted; trust your instincts. They are there for a reason.
***
MrsRamsay,

It's terrible for me to read about the relationship that you have with your sister. I feel bad for you that you don't have friendship with her.

My sister has gone through so many things with me during the childhood years; if I can't trust her, I can trust no one.

- Maria

Adove, Hello. Your story makes a lot of sense to me. Less than a year after my mom passed away in 2013, I feel as though I got a phone call from her on my birthday! Like you, I'll talk to my loved ones every now and then. I was sitting in our bright family room on a winter evening while my husband and two kids were outside shooting off a couple leftover fireworks from the New Year celebration. It was about 7:30 pm and the phone rang. The ID on the television said, "CVS Pharmacy," not surprising since my older kids, just out of college and on their own, had been sick. I immediately guessed it was one of them, perhaps needing money for some cold medicine.

I picked up the phone and said, "Hello, who is this?"
I heard a faint, "Mom! Mom!"
Me: "Who IS this?" (both girls sound alike sometimes) I could not figure out why she didn't say her name and sounded so faint.
Caller: "Mom!"
All of a sudden the call just stopped, not even sure how I knew, and I realized it was NEITHER of my girls calling out to me over the phone; it was Mom, answering my question, "who is this?"! I stood there shocked and wondering how I was going to tell my husband without sounding crazy. The funny thing is, I went to my caller ID and called back the number. It SAID it was to the CVS pharmacy in a small town about 150 miles from where I live, the same town where my parents used to own a lake house (so a significant place), however, neither the store nor the pharmacy was open when I called the number, it was just a recording. And that doesn't make sense either, in early evening on a weekday. It remains a mystery, but my point is, I believe if you FEEL like it's your mom communicating with you, I think it could very well be.

Also, similarly to your creepy person, I also had a bad relationship with one of my sisters and shortly after Mom died I dreamed that someone (probably my sister) had come up behind me in bed, sort of over my shoulder, with the intent to do harm. In my dream I couldn't move at all, and I tried and tried to move or scream. For the first time ever, I came awake in a sort of half yell, just scared to death. It was morning and light already but I was absolutely shaking. Not like me AT ALL. Ever! All that day, I really felt it was Mom trying to warn me to stay away from my sis. She had never been violent, but Mom's death sort of pushed her over some cliff, she was acting so weird and taking all that grief out on me. I felt it was better to be safe than sorry, and have stayed away from her to this day. Sadly. So maybe try and trust your instincts on this one and best of luck to you!

Hi, adove.

If it's not your parents responding to your question then it is your subconscious. Either way, your ex sounds like trouble, you should stay away from him.

I agree with Biblio, there is something off about this guy. I don't think it's a coincidence that now that your parents are gone he wants to start communicating again. He is up to no good.

Greetings, adove.

He "would get creepy," "We would get in fights," and "he would get nasty and rude."

"Is this my folks warning me to stay clear of the creepy in-law?" Yes.

Your parents either suspected or knew information about your in-law that they did not share with you but it motivated them to protect you. They're still protecting you.

The descriptions you gave of this relative felt cold and dark to me as I read them the first time; I'm getting goosebumps focusing on writing about him in this message. Something about this man is much worse than you know.

You do not want an open line of communication with this man.

Take care of yourself,
Biblio.

I'm with Miracles and Silverthane.

But if you do choose to attempt contact with creepy relative, I advise to have a mediator present who can quickly get people out of the danger zone.

adove - I agree with silverthane. I think you know the answer to your question about the creepy in-law, especially considering your parents acted as a buffer when they were alive. Personally, I would not engage in any type of communication with the creepy in-law.

I am not sure whether I would take another person's advice who is not directly involved with the people - in this case, your in-law - in your story. I am honored that you have asked us for our opinion, but I honestly cannot answer your question based on the information that you have offered. Secretly, I think you already know, or suspect, the answer to your question.