I never thought that I was sensitive to the paranormal, although there are certain places that creep me out to the point that I feel as if I want to leave very quickly. One instance is when I was younger my father was a pastor who specialized in casting out demons of the local Native American population (well for the most part, some others but mostly troubled, alcoholic or just crazy people... Usually ended up being the folks connected with Native American "curses" and such.) I noticed that my father never, ever used his study and I myself would only go in there to get out a book to read during church services. I would bolt in there, quickly select a book (whilst the hair all over my body stood up and I became cold and chilled) and literally run out. I never mentioned this to anyone when eventually my mother (also a devout christian) went in the room and declared that there was a demon in there. They then "exorcised it."
I have had similar experiences in another small town where I lived with a lot of history. Such as running across this old bridge near my house, I would always full on sprint through there. I never saw anything out of the ordinary, just would feel uneasy occasionally. To include lots of occasions in the very old boarding house I lived in as a kid, just terrified to be in the hallway alone and I would turn off the lights upstairs before frantically running down the stairs. In that house, I would also experience such sorrow. I was a very depressed little kid and I would lay in my bed at night crying for no reason. I always felt like I was being watched and could never wait to go to school. My entire family bickered constantly complete with crazy behavior like screaming at each other or even using violence. This was consistent through my whole childhood until my parents split up and then it was only at my father's house. My mother now goes on about how she doesn't understand why everyone had to raise their voices through all those years.
After my parents split at 15 nothing scary happened. I was pretty happy and lived with my grandmother, a good lady in a normal house with no bad feelings. I graduated, joined the military and ended up overseas. I began feeling very sad again and began to drink. A lot. I had a shipmate and roomate who was a weird kid. She told me one day that my energy, my 'aura' was filthy and appaulling. I eventually allowed her to clean it. Suddenly, I had no desire to drink for the most part for almost 4 years. Fell in love, lost a ton of weight, knew crazy happiness and got married.
I then went to Washington DC, hung out there apart from my husband for about 6 months and one day fell out of love with him. I then began to drink, slowly but surely until we were divorced and I became a full on alcoholic. Ended up voluntarily going to rehab in 08 and when I became sober I realzed how creepy my house was. Right before my husband and I split I got into collecting antiques, for our "beautiful house together".
I never thought my house was haunted until I started not being able to sleep at night being creeped out and I really felt it strong in my walk-in closet. Then stuff started happening such as one night I was asleep and suddenly I heard all of this banging. My cat was curled up beside me at this time. I shot out of bed and investigated to find that all of my shampoo bottles, soap bottles etc were in my bathtub. All of them, like 8 or 9 bottles.
There was another instance in which I was lying in bed at night and suddenly there was this loud, intense scratching all over my bedroom furniture, nightstands, dresser etc. I flippin' lost it, and slept on the couch. I hated going home, I always just wanted to drink drink drink so I couldn't feel it but I never did. Eventually, I ended up relapsing and drank for an entire weekend. At the end of the weekend, I was lying in bed with the saddest most desolate feeling. Suddenly, I felt very cold as if something horrible were snuggling up against me. My heart started beating faster and I felt such sorrow. It was then that the thought of suicide crossed my mind as an option.
I got up, called my boss (who happens to be an recovered alcoholic, that's why they moved me to her dept so she could look out for me), told her that I had relapsed and that I was scared. She told me to go to work and wait so I did. It just so happened that the friend from Okinawa who had fixed my energy was now stationed at the same command and we had become really great friends. She insisted that I live with her and her husband for my last 3 months at that command. I slept on her couch and felt such peace. Never wanted to drink, not once.
I went back overseas to a ship that stays deployed for 9 months out of the year. No experiences on the ship. But when we come home... My house man. That cold feeling is back hard core. Now, it comes up on me randomly. Once while I was drying my hair... A few times in bed. I eventually drank again and I would get that same hopeless feeling. The sadness was unspeakable. Sometimes that sadness came when I wasn't hungover as I didn't drink all of the time.
I took leave for 2 weeks and it began to come to me all of the time. I would sit on my couch... Sober... For hours and just cry. I would cry and cry and cry, it was crazy. I began to worry about dying alone. I tried to leave and go to the gym but I couldn't stop crying on the way there. I drove back bawling the whole time. That was last time we were home.
This time, well... That feeling is now not only causing me chills all the time... It follows me around my house. It stays with me, and I feel it when it comes. The chills are so intense that it hurts, my body hurts. I feel it watching me. Last week I was trying to sleep. I could not sleep, no matter what I did even taking benadryl. I went to sleep on my couch. I have an ottoman with a decorative birdcage on it in my livingroom. Suddenly, it flew off violently, even though I was no where near it, no windows were open, no pets and I watched in horror as it came to a halt... Then jerkily moved swiftly again as if someone had kicked it and it flew into my kitchen. I calmly got up, got dressed and came back to the ship. I am able to sleep on the ship fine.
I then began to think that maybe it was something I owned, thinking of the timeframes of everything starting. I got rid of most of the antiques, with the exception of some candle holders, I had a friend over who helped me bless my house with sage. The cold feeling came to him so intensely, he was thouroughly freaked out. We took the "haunted items" in my car to dispose of them and that flippin coldness and goosebumps stayed with us very strongly until we dumped the stuff, yes, that thing was definitely in my car, then on the drive home and at home, the feeling was gone. I had friends over that night and no one felt anything.
The next night however, returning alone, oh my god it was so much stronger, intensely intensely strong, following me around and this time I felt that it was mocking me. I went to use the restroom and my entire roll of toilet paper was in a pile on the ground from the holder. No pets, no windows open. All the way down to the brown paper core, it was just sitting there. I was pissed, started threatening it and went to go to sleep. No sleep, came back to the ship. I have a grandfather and uncle both who died of alcoholism and I know that it runs in my blood. I wonder if one of them are torturing me to try and get me to stop?
You guys, judging from these stories I know it will just get worse. I am afraid to go home. I am in Japan where there aren't any American speaking clergyman. I have to do it alone. Rook's method? I don't want to anger it anymore and I don't know if I'm strong enough spiritually to properly execute such a ritual.