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Allways Present Waiting, Watching


Hey, I suppose I should introduce myself before I jump into the story. I'm Tara. As of current I am 13 years of age. Well, it all started one day in Maine.

If I remember correctly it was 2006. My family and I had just moved into a house on a lake. Granted I was always one to be scared of new houses. Something seemed very off about this one. When we moved in I had this feeling that someone was always watching me no matter what I was doing. Over the five years that I lived there I had several unexplainable occurrences. Before I go into this I must state that I am not a religious person in the least bit, nor is my family.

This one occurred every night. I would be in my room minding my own business. My room connected to a staircase. It was on the 2nd floor which had somewhat of a balcony on it that overlooked the living room on the floor below. Hanging in said hallway... Thing was a lamp. This lamp was very old and overall just creepy. Now this one may sound stupid but... Here we go. The lamp always made a shadow that look like a women in a Victorian gown with an axe in her hand. Funny thing is that NO ONE BUT MYSELF COULD SEE IT. When I asked my mother if she could see it she would reply with "What? It looks like a regular light shadow to me." Another weird thing about that was every time I saw it I got this gut feeling that something wasn't right. It seemed to change positions too, as if it was alive. It felt like it was staring at me... It just didn't feel right.

As a younger child I didn't have much of an imagination at all. I was always serious and realistic. I never had 'weird' or 'scary' dreams before I moved into that house. One of the ones I can recall scared the living daylight out of me. The house was 3 floors high, the basement was carpeted and everything. It was not really a basement. In the dream it was all centered around the bathtub downstairs. It was about a woman who was drowned in the tub by her husband with hot scolding water filling it. The police would then show up, and blood would be EVERYWHERE. I cannot recall much more so this is going to be vague. The last scene from the dream was the husband with a new girlfriend smirking evilly in front of her grave. Next to him I could see her ghost smiling down at him as if she had forgiven him. The other dream I had was of my school class and I taking a trip to the beach. I swam out to far, and got pulled to my death by what I can only describe as a giant squid. I ended up drowning. After this dream I would awake almost instantly. One of these times I saw the ghost of a boy leaning over me smiling. The boy was completely blue, and partly transparent. I could have imagined it... As I said I'm not exactly sure. Sorry if this part sounded silly, but I think it ties into this somehow.

Before my family and I moved in my room belonged to a little girl of 6 or 7. When I moved in a doll was sitting on a chair in the room. It was the only piece of furniture in the place. It was made or porcelain had black hair and deep brown eyes. I added it to my collection or porcelain dolls. After about a week I started to get an overwhelming creepy feeling coming of all of them, not just the one doll. So, I put them away. Time after time after that I would hear a little girls voice, but I had no idea of what she was saying.

Those are my experiences dating over the 5 years I lived in that house. Some important information you might need to know is that my dad was a drunk. He would get drunk almost every night and beat my mom. One time he almost choked her to death but I pulled him off her. He went to jail multiple times, but always did the same thing when he got out. I got into many fights with him both verbally, and physically. MY mother didn't have the courage to stand up to him. We moved out because the house was foreclosed on. After this I became depressed. Bullying at school added to my distress and soon things took a turn for the worst for me in general.

As of now I've moved into a new house. Its small and cozy. This is 2 floors and the basement again is carpeted and like a normal floor. This one is old. It was built in 1960. In the basement there are 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, and like a boiler room that's like an actual basement. On the first floor there is a living room which is connected to the kitchen and dining room. There are like 4 steps that lead to my bedroom, my parents bedroom, an office, and a bathroom. In this house my experiences have been much more severe, and odd.

When I first moved here it felt like a normal house, and I loved it. Over the next few months it got somewhat gloomy, and that watching feeling came back. Instead of just being there this time it makes me nervous, but excites me. Almost immediately I started having dreams about a black-haired blue-eyed boy. In the dreams it would be a blur of an event. Fire, smoke, screaming, and the face of said boy. I started having dreams about ghosts, and haunted houses as well. When I woke up from one it felt like someone was choking me. I couldn't move or scream. As this happened I heard a breathy chuckle. After 20 or so seconds it went away. I immediately ran from my room. That time period I was in pure terror. And no, its not Sleep Paralysis. I was tested for it after this occurrence when I told my mom. After that I was, and still am to scared to go back into my room. Whenever I go in there for clothes or something I always get a gloomy feeling of not being welcome. So, as of now I sleep in a chair in the living room.

I would like to say a few months after this I started cutting, and having thoughts of suicide. Bullying escalated. I hated myself. I just wanted it all to end. My father is better but still gets drunk sometimes, and when he does something gives me the strength to keep him away from my mom at all costs.

Now this happened two nights in a row. I was sitting at my dining room table drawing, listening to music, and singing. To be more specific. I was listening to rock. Black Veil Bries, Falling In Reverse, Skillet, bands like that. I went into a daze, and just let my hands do whatever. When I looked down it was this picture of a boy that was skin and bones with hair covering half of his face. It looked as if said person was next to me peering down with a smirk on his face. After I looked down my gut dropped, and I got a feeling of danger. I was terrified. Immediately I shot up from my seat, and ran to the living room. It was around 11:30 pm. Everyone was asleep but me. I threw myself into the chair, and started yelling things like "Leave me alone!" or "Don't hurt me!" Behind the chair I was sitting in was a glass door. Every time I pass it at night I get a feeling of dread, and uneasiness. Just that gut feeling. This happened the next night as well. This experience happened 3 nights ago on Friday and Saturday night.

The latest experience was last night, well one that's worth noting. I couldn't sleep because I was afraid. Of what? I have no clue. I just got a bad feeling. Slowly a cool air formed around me, and it felt like someone was holding my hand. I then heard a faint, breathy whisper in my left ear. It was deep like a mans voice. I couldn't make out what it was saying. Slowly after that the feeling of being afraid was gone, and I felt protected. Soon after I fell asleep. Today I have a feeling of someone following me. Its like a cold air that's always behind me.

Now here are some details that may, or may not, be important.

I must say that this stuff has always happened to me.

My mother also told my that being psychic runs in my family. A while after I moved into my current house I found a journal of a man. It looked to be about 30 years old. It talked about him starting a novel...rape...betrayal.

I just now heard a faint growl behind me.

My dogs always bark at thin air.

I sometimes see a figure of a man, only its black and as soon as I catch sight of it vanishes in thin air.

A month or two back when I was about to cut it felt like someone was pleading for me not to do it. I didn't listen and I made one cut. After that the cold came over me, and I calmed down. That very day I threw my knife away, and stopped cutting.

Music, drawing, singing, and dancing (Though I suck at it) are my life, and the only things that make me happy. When I listen to music, draw, dance, and especially when I sing weird things seem to happen.

Thank you for listening to my stories. I have more but I will save those for another time. Any feedback would be appreciated. By the way, I have never felt like a 13 year old. I feel, look, act, and have more intelligence than a 13 year old. Don't make my age change your opinion of what may be going on. I'm sorry if you think I'm some stupid kid. But all of his did happen, and still is.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Tara902, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

MusicLover28 (1 stories) (4 posts)
8 years ago (2015-10-23)
That sounds like something that happened to me before. I'm really interested in hearing more of your story, so do you mind keeping me updated?
scotlandgirl99 (3 posts)
10 years ago (2013-08-04)
I used to have a doll like that. It always freaked me out. I don't know if it was my imagination or not but one night I'm sure I heard it whisper my name. I am so glad my mum finally said I could throw it out. I also used to get the feeling of being watched. I always used to feel threatened when I went downstairs at night. I've never seen anything but I can always feel something watching me.
InspiredByHawthorn (6 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-25)
I'm not going to bother looking at the other comments until afterwards so forgive me if I say something someone else has already said.
Dolls, especially hollow Porcelean dolls were originally used to house spirits, the original doll you found in that room was most likely already possesed and putting that doll with the others set off a chain reaction. Normally child dolls are not evil for children spirits will posses them because that's how they most resembled when they were alive.
Your drawings is what I'd like to say a form of Automatic Writing, basically you're writing or drawing and not really focusing on anything and an unseen energy, subconscience or spirit takes control of your hand and you draw or write what you/they will.
Spirits are also known to enter your dreams and replay images of dramatic events of what they want to show you, this may be a plea for help or the spirit may be doing this unknowingly, unless you wake up with scratches or pains you shouldn't worry.
It's quite obvious that you have someone watching out for you, you should refrain from cutting as much as you can. I couldn't tell you if this unseen protector is an angel, anscestor or helpful spirit but it'd be wise to stop.
If these events really bother you there are certain psychics who know how to close your 3rd eye almost completely... Best of luck.
Amaterus (6 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-16)
Tara all I can say is that if other family members are starting to hear them that means that the spirit is getting stronger. It is still weak since your brother is the olney other person that can hear it. Children are more sensitive to this kind of thing. All I can do is give you advice. You shoaled go and ask a paranormal expert in your area to help you get a clear look at things.
Tara902 (1 stories) (8 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-15)
In reply to Amaterus. The thing is I sometimes feel like it has positive intentions. As for the events that weren't positive I'm not sure what its intentions were. Evil or otherwise. I believe it could also be multiple ghosts. At this point I am out of ideas completely. I really just want to get an idea of what's going on. What I really think is a spirit is attached to me...I'm not sure though. 😐 😕
Amaterus (6 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-15)
Nasty class spirits are those ho have evil intentions and don't seek releas but revenge and pull the living in there revenge (Sombody like you ho can see them). They will somtimes turn your life in to a living nightmare. Most have had violent deaths.
valkricry (48 stories) (3245 posts) mod
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
Tara, oddly that actually helps validate what is happening. It seems what-ever this is it isn't very strong. "Safety in numbers" extends into the paranormal. Most negative things feed off fear, and it is much easier to frighten a person who is alone then in a group. With each 'feeding' it gets a little stronger. At least that is the theory many put forth.
Since singing makes you happy, you might try singing whenever it starts playing up. The more upbeat and happy the tune the better. It just may back off when it sees it can't scare you any more.
You might also see if your brother will also talk to your mom about the banging.
Amihet (5 stories) (94 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
Tara- First I would like to say that thank goodness you stopped cutting yourself and I am sorry about the bullying that you had to deal with. People who are insecure or jealous or unhappy tend to be bullies. I believe that maybe an entity has attached itself to you or your family. I truly empathize with you as far the knocking goes. I also have experienced banging or knocking on the walls. And you are right it is not just knocking with the knuckles it is pounding hard with fists which I find it scary. You have dealt with a lot of unfortunate incidents for such a young person. Please confide in your mother and family for support. If you find that you can't deal with it or become anxious or depressed please find a therapist or seek the help of your pastor or priest, that is if you are religious. I am 50 years of age and I am troubled by the paranormal in my home, I can imagine what you are going through. Take Care.
Tara902 (1 stories) (8 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
In reply to Valkricry. I am the only one that experiences most of the events. The only ones other family members have experienced (on their own while alone) are the outside light turning on, and my brother just experienced the banging today while he was alone in his room (downstairs).
valkricry (48 stories) (3245 posts) mod
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
Tara, thanks for answering my questions. No one else in the house experiences anything?
I'm really not sure what to tell you at this point. Just stay strong and keep talking to your mom.
Tara902 (1 stories) (8 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
Hey everyone. Quick update. Lately there has been random banging on the walls when I'm the only one in the room. Its not just one faint bang. Its multiple bangs that are really prominent. For example its like
"BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!" It can continue for up to two minutes. While this is happening I get an overwhelming sense of fear and uneasiness. My dogs (a pug and golden retreaver) go wild and start to bark and growle. I also have an automatic light that censors movement outside my house. It will turn on and off when I'm the only one awake (at 11:00 pm - 3:00 am. Yes I am a night person) Thank you everyone for your help <3
Tara902 (1 stories) (8 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
In reply to Amaterus. I am not clear on if this is a 'good thing' or 'bad thing'. I believe that it is more than one thing though. Now to tell the story of my family. I must warn you this is really screwed up.
So my grandmother on my mothers side was raped by her step father. She ended giving birth to 5 of his kids. My mother (laurie), my uncle (mike), and my three other Aunts. Two died at fairly young ages. One in a fire the other... I can not recall I will ask my mom later. My mother and my uncle were given up for adoption. So my mother never knew of her real family post of 2012. It is because of this that I do not know which psychic died last. As for 'the nasty class' what do you mean by that? Thank you for your time
Tara902 (1 stories) (8 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
In reply to valkicry. By 'weird things' I mean that the sense of someone watching me grows, and I get really nervous. Also sometimes it feels like someone touches my shoulder, or back. Its like a cold feeling. Kinda like a breeze hit that one spot on my body. I think its worth stating that I want to be a singer when I grow up, because music has helped me through everything. To me music is life <3 The journal... Well the man sounded crazy. It was talking about rape when I stopped reading it. (now not to offend anyone of any religious belief) He was a religious nuttjob! He believed that whoever didn't follow EVERY SINGLE rule of the bible was going to hell. Also it included weird drawings... Something is off about it. Though I'm not sure what. Thank you for your time <3
Tara902 (1 stories) (8 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
In reply to BadJuuJuu I left the doll that was one thing I never wanted to see again! In regards to no one waking up my parents were on the floor above me, and the are VERY sound sleepers. As for the dogs they start freaking out and growling (sorry I didn't really go into detail there). My cats also hiss at mid air, and run away. Just last week around the glass door I snapped a picture, and it looked like a shadow of a person was right outside. I will post that as soon as I can. I have talked to my mom (the only person I trust) and she brushed it off as my 'overactive childlike imagination' She will come around soon enough though. Also, I must say I am a tough kid... My childhood was ripped away from me early on, so I had to grow up fast. Activity has died down now, but weird things still happen! Thank you for your time <3
Amaterus (6 posts)
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
Tara I just wanted to tell you that your not aloun. From what I read it sounds like you have a guardian spirit. You shouled have a look at your family tree and find the last know psychic in your line that has passed away. And look up on the net how to repel spirits because it sounds like you attract the nasty class ghosts. They won't leave you aloun unless you can overpower them. I personaly wouled sugest you check out this web page it dose have some useful spells -
valkricry (48 stories) (3245 posts) mod
10 years ago (2013-06-14)
Tara, I agree with what BadJuuJuu says. But I am curious, when you said "When I listen to music, draw, dance, and especially when I sing weird things seem to happen." Can you elaborate on that?
I don't think the journal you found is related to anything. Except it is odd that the entries weren't dated. Could have just been his way of keeping track of ideas for stories. But on the subject of journals, it might be helpful for you to keep one if you don't already.
BadJuuJuu (guest)
10 years ago (2013-06-13)
First let me say I'm glad you stopped cutting. It's just not a healthy form of stress release. The music, singing, dancing, and drawing are much better. Artistic release beats self harm every time. ❤
So, I'm curious about that doll. It sounds like something was attached to it. When you moved, did you leave it behind or take it with you?
After you drew the picture of the boy, got frightened and started yelling, did anyone wake up to see what was going on? I didn't see any mention of someone checking on you, it seems odd that no one woke up when you were yelling.
The journal mentioning a possible novel? Probably nothing. Yeah, the subject of the proposed novel is creepy, but no one reads novels about sunshine and puppies. Forget about it.
Dogs barking at thin air, well, dogs do that. I only get nervous if mine start growling at thin air. Bark, bored dog in love with his own voice. Growl, grab a camera and start snapping pics in the direction he's growling. You might catch something.
It's interesting that psychic awareness runs in your mother's family. I hope that means you have a support system, and people close to you to listen and give advice. There's nothing like face to face chat with someone who will take you seriously and guide you. If you have that option, take it! You'll be glad you did.
You are at the age in which poltergeist activity typically acts up. A poltergeist (in my opinion) is not a true, outside entity but rather a manifestation of our own stress. It usually hits around puberty because it's a rough time for everyone, and it sounds like you have more than your share of stress. Some of what you're going through may be poltergeist related, and will stop soon. Keep on with your artistic pursuits, it's a good stress reducer. Even if you're not going through poltergeist activity, keeping as stress free as possible will help you in handling whatever comes your way. You seem like a tough kid, so I know you can deal with this.
And seriously, talk to your mom, cousins, whoever, real life support > internet. 😊

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