It all came together last night. When I was 6 I was so mean and evil, my mom says it's because my father left us. I literally tried to kill my older brother. (OK not "kill" but seriously hurt him.)
One day I was having a really bad temper tantrum. My mom went and got the holy oil and put a cross on my for head. Something came out of me. As I was screaming, a male voice came out. You don't hear that from a little girl.
I am now 13 and 3/4 and I suffer from major depressive disorder, bi-polar disorder, social anxiety disorder, PTSD, and I used to have insomnia but not anymore.
In the 6th grade, where the depression started (from being bullied and family stuff), my principal said to my mom that she felt like a dark spirit was hovering over me... Like it wanted to take my life.
I started reading into this today and it was a website giving physical signs about a dark entity haunting you. The signs I've experienced: uneasy feelings, nightmares of self harm, like it's trying to make you do something bad (I only have these dreams when I'm feeling most confident of myself). And I remember my aunt saying she saw something crawling up the hallway when she visited, this was a few years ago but...still.
I feel like this "thing" has been feeding off of my negative energy and boy do I have a lot... Suicidal thoughts/attempts, self harm, all my disorders. Yet it hasn't made any physical contact or signs. Nothing moving, no scratching on the walls... I mean there has been a few incidents here and there like the radio mysteriously turning all the way up or random knocks but I feel like those can be explained... Malfunctions or imagination.
I've never felt anything touch me EVER So I don't think this thing is very harmful but it's still...dark. And I'm not the type to get scared, I only have this uneasy feeling at certain times. And lately my dog has been barking at air. I think because this entity knows that I know of its presence and it's getting closer.
Maybe all this is in my head? I do tend to over analyze things but... Can I get somebody's feedback on this?
Side note: Many people in my family have experienced the "unexplained". My younger sister used to have night terrors, her father sees "ghosts" all the time, my aunt has seen her mother in 2 places (meaning the one she thought was standing in her bedroom was actually sleeping), my grandma supposedly saw god when she technically died but her heart started again. And a bunch of other things have happened, you see, none of these entities are what you'd call life threatening (besides mine wanting me to kill over dead) they just stand and watch.