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How Do I Get My Normal Life Back?


This happened to me when I used to live in Varanasi. As I had mentioned in my previous posts I live with my husband and son. My husband is in a transferable job so every 2-5 years we shift to a new city. We came to Varanasi in 2017 and were living in a government allotted bungalow. Everything was fine with that house. I never felt anything scary even when I was alone in the house with my son for 2-3 days when my husband was out on a tour.

It all started in 2021. Some incidences occurred which I will discuss one by one. The post is going to be long so kindly be patient.

At the end of 2020, my MIL got brain stroke and half of her body was paralyzed for months before she succumbed in 2021 Feb after suffering a lot. In March, my son who was completely healthy otherwise, woke up from sleep and was sitting on bed in the morning when suddenly he fell on the mattress with facial paralysis kind of condition on one side of the face (resembling my MIL's condition but only the face). He had urinated on bed (he was 11 years old then and had never wet his bed after he was like 2 years old) and tears were rolling down his face. This condition lasted for maybe 20-25 seconds and he was ok afterwards. Nevertheless we took him to the hospital where they admitted him for observation purpose. They conducted blood tests, EEG, MRI and everything came normal. He was discharged later. Later we took him to Kaal Bhairav Mandir for Puja. He is completely ok now and this wasn't repeated.

Same year in August, my FIL, my SIL and her two daughters came to visit us. Let's call her elder daughter X and younger Y. X was 2 years and Y 11 months old. X was diagnosed borderline autistic and the main purpose of their visit was her treatment. X used to be engrossed in herself not making eye contact with anyone and not responding to anyone except rarely to her mother. It was also difficult to make X sleep and on certain nights she would look at different corners of the room and would laugh and smile as if playing with someone. My SIL felt uneasy to sleep alone so me and my son also slept in the same room (my husband was transferred and had joined duty in another city).

One night, X started looking at the walls again, laughing and all. My SIL held her tight inside her lap not allowing her to look there. But no matter how many times she tried, X would somehow manage to free herself and start doing the same thing. I ran out of my patience and started playing Hanuman Chalisa (prayer to hindu god Hanumanji which is renowned to scare away ghosts) on my phone. This calmed her a bit but then she went back to do the same thing. Then I remembered that I had holy water and oil from a priest. I brought it from another room and put it on X's forehead.

X seemed amazed for a few seconds but this calmed her down. Now she was sitting in her mother's lap, calm. I sprinkled the water and oil in the room, and also put it on the forehead of everyone in the room. While I was leaving the room to put the holy water and oil back to its place I looked back to see X looking at me in my eyes eerily.

When I came back I saw my SIL had laid X on the bed beside her. My son and Y were both asleep. It was around 4AM. I lied down next to X. My SIL was on one side of the bed, and me on the other side with X between us. I saw X who was calm but still looking at me. I felt a bit uneasy as she never used to make eye contact with anyone. Now I changed my position with my back towards her and turned off the light (night light was still on).

I felt tired and was about to sleep when I experienced typical sleep paralysis symptoms. I was not able to move, speak. It felt like somebody had grabbed me from back side. I was trying to call for help but all I could say was- uhh uhh.

I was really terrified, it didn't came to my mind that I should recite Hanuman chalisa or some other holy name, I don't know why. After sometime, my SIL called, " Bhabhi what happened?" And immediately I was ok. I put on the light and told her what happened, she told me that she was also listening to the sounds I made but was too afraid to call me. But when I continued doing so she gathered courage and called me. X was still awake but calm looking at us. I was so afraid that I couldn't sleep at all. My SIL and X slept after a while. I was shocked and terrified. I told this to my FIL when he woke up who didn't believe any supernatural angle to this incident and just laughed at us.

From the next day, we slept with lights on. But from then onwards my life changed. I started having scary nightmares. I was afraid of sleeping in the dark, whenever I switched off the light while sleeping I would feel somebody grabbing me from behind. I had similar dreams too.

My SIL and FIL returned to their native place 2 months later and we shifted to a new city. Although the city, home everything changed, my life has continued to be miserable- I lost my father, I and my son continued getting nightmares, I had fights with almost everyone close to me without any serious reason, even some of them casually stopped talking to me without any reason. I started feeling sad and lonely all the time although I am a loner and enjoy being alone. I and my husband had taken some advices and did remedial measures. They work but as soon as we stop doing it, my situation becomes the same although my son is better now.

I am sorry to say this but I sometimes feel that could it be my MIL affecting my life as I had a love-hate relationship with her or is there a possibility that she herself was attacked by some spirit which is affecting every family member since her death? Just before she had the stroke, she had purchased a land in her name which is said to be cursed and affects the owner of the land but my FIL and MIL didn't believe it. After my MILs death, I came to know later that my FIL had done some Puja secretly after getting the soil of that land checked by someone when he was in Varanasi but neither me nor my husband knows anything about it in detail and my FIL refuses to talk about it.

I seriously need advice as to what should I do to get back my normal life. Although I'm better now, I can't keep on doing cleansing rituals throughout my life. What should I do to free myself of this situation forever?

Is it even paranormal or am I just thinking too much?

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, MPS, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

ellielightfoot (4 posts)
2 months ago (2024-03-12)

First of all, I'm so sorry for what you went through (or are still going through), it sounds utterly terrifying and disruptive.

My name is Ellie, and I am a journalist and audio producer at Spooked, an NPR podcast which features true, supernatural stories, shared firsthand by people who have experienced them. As producers on Spooked, we take a back seat to the individuals telling their story. Our aim is to approach the paranormal broadly and judgmentally, challenge assumptions, and use it as a way to explore big, human questions. We've also found our stories and storytellers help those going through similar experiences less alone.

I wanted to reach out and see if you might be interested in chatting about possibly sharing your story on Spooked. It's a powerful and important story, and I'd be honored to help you share it.

Please feel free to reach out to me by email at ellielightfoot [at] You can get a sense of our show/listen to past stories at

Thanks for considering it, hope you and your family have found peace now.

All the best,
jeeva1995 (1 stories) (2 posts)
6 months ago (2023-11-13)
I don't know whether this comment reach you but you should consider protecting your house with some yantras prepared by knowledgeable people. And never stop prayers to god. I advise you to get sudarshan yantra/prathyangira yantra/shoolni yantra/ aghora yantra. Pray to goddess kali maa and aghora moorthi. Your problem will be sloved
MPS (3 stories) (8 posts)
11 months ago (2023-07-04)
Hello Tweed

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am really feeling much better since I have posted this story. The understanding, care and support I received here has helped me a lot and has given me strength to continue doing cleansing rituals and whatever other things I can.

As you have mentioned the people here don't judge me otherwise except a few most other people just try to make me believe that whatever happened has some practical explanation and has nothing to do with paranormal.

I am really happy that I decided to share my experience here. I am so thankful to you all and will definitely ask for help if needed.
Tweed (35 stories) (2501 posts)
11 months ago (2023-07-01)

I'm really sorry you're going through this. Your anger at God is natural and most likely part of your grieving process. I'm sure any God will forgive you for that. I wouldn't want to speculate on what this could be. Trust how it makes you feel.

You said this in the comments:

"The problem is that whenever things get better I start believing that it's my mind playing games and stop doing anything about it."

I can relate to this. Years ago I went through a difficult haunting. When I felt like things were better I'd stop the rituals I was doing to prevent it and it would come back. Once I'd ruled out any other causes and really believed for certain I was dealing with a supernatural force I was able to focus on getting rid of it. One of the worst parts about dealing with a negative force is the uncertainty. I believe these negative forces make use of our uncertainties and insecurities, it's how they maintain their grip on us.

As for what to do, stay strong. You said this in your narrative:

"Although I'm better now, I can't keep on doing cleansing rituals throughout my life."

That's what my attitude was like. I don't do rituals in the same way that I used to. But that time has changed the way I view cleansing rituals. Getting rid of this is a process. For now I would suggest keep doing what works and it will get better. I believe the worst of this is over for you because you've identified the cause. If you're feeling weak and just want to talk. Please feel free to comment on the site. Having a support network is important and you won't be judged by the regulars on this forum.
MPS (3 stories) (8 posts)
11 months ago (2023-07-01)
Hello Rajine

You understood my emotions in a way most people haven't. I understand you must have gone through the same phase of losing a loved one. I have realised the same thing about life that it is fragile. One day you have someone and the next day there is no trace of him.

My husband also lost his mother but he handled it in a better way than me or maybe because he was there with her all the time and did everything he could do but I couldn't be there with my father. I went there briefly but had to come back to look after my son and to set things in the new city and had planned to go back to look after him during my son's vacation but I lost him before that. All I could do for him was to pray.

Yes most of the priests have turned healing someone a money making business. That's why I don't trust them unless someone close recommends.
Rajine (14 stories) (795 posts)
11 months ago (2023-06-30)
I know what you mean, there's lots of people who have spiritual gifts out there, that have the power and ability to help, but they use it as a money making scheme and turn it into a business, only a few genuine people don't put money before prayer.
Rajine (14 stories) (795 posts)
11 months ago (2023-06-30)
Hi again MPS

I know what you mean when you lose a loved one, it's a dark and terrible road to go through, it took me a long time to come to the realization that life is momentary, fleeting, and that the only sure thing in life is that it's going to end some day, for all of us, we are here only here for a certain amount of time.
Lots of people say that time heals all wounds, but I don't think that's true, it just makes it less painful as time moves forward. Personally for me, the only thing that got me through all the dark and crazy times is my faith and belief that there is a higher power out there.
MPS (3 stories) (8 posts)
11 months ago (2023-06-29)
Hello Rajine

We had consulted a priest in Varanasi when my husband came back but he didn't look trustworthy and we felt he was money-oriented so we didn't pursue him. After we shifted, we don't know many people here and we are not that comfortable disclosing this matter to anyone. The priest who had given us holy oil and water lives in a different city and we have lost contact with him.

We did some remedy by consulting online priests which were general remedies to remove negativity and I am using the holy oil and water everyday which seems very effective.

I seriously wanted to talk to some priest but didn't know where to go and whom to contact that's why I posted my story here in hope of getting some help here which I am getting.

About the prayer part, you have rightly pointed out that the prayer should be regular. I am doing it regularly but there was a period after my father's passing when I was completely disillusioned with God for not saving him and had stopped praying completely for around 2 months I think, and although I pray regularly now still I have this complaint in the back of my mind. I think I need to develop more faith.

Thank you so much for your insight into this matter. I will try to find the contact details of my previous priest.
Rajine (14 stories) (795 posts)
11 months ago (2023-06-28)

From what I've read, it seems that the issues started after your mother in law passed away, you've mentioned praying, prayer should be constant, but have you actually spoken to a learned priest about your issues? If not then I suggest you do, immediately, then you might get a clear answer and a way forward.
MPS (3 stories) (8 posts)
11 months ago (2023-06-28)
Hello CrimsonTopaz

Thank you for your support. It really means a lot.

I am quite better now but sometimes I really wonder why it happened to me and my family. I pray to God regularly but why is it not enough.
As you suggested I will now regularly be doing the rituals without fail. I have developed this tendency to associate even a minor negative thing in my life to something supernatural. I will try to get rid of this tendency and think and be positive.
MPS (3 stories) (8 posts)
11 months ago (2023-06-28)
Hello RCRuskin

As you have suggested I will perform Puja as soon as possible. The problem is that whenever things get better I start believing that it's my mind playing games and stop doing anything about it.

And thank you so much for your concern, it's really comforting.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
11 months ago (2023-06-27)
MPS I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. It must be difficult for you with everything going on in your life right now.
You seem to be doing all the right things. You've done the cleansing, you've seen the Puja, prayed to your god Hanumanji, and used holy oil and water. At the end of the day - none of this is your fault. Try to focus on your family and positive things. Keep using the methods you are using and hopefully the negative influence will go.
You're doing well, keep strong.
RCRuskin (9 stories) (820 posts)
11 months ago (2023-06-27)
Hi. Well, the uncomforting answer is that you may never go back to the previous normal you enjoyed. Whatever it is that has affected your family will leave scars. Hopefully, they will heal.

I do not know what you must do to be rid of this thing forever, but assuming the puja helped your FIL, I would suggest starting with that.

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