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My Sister Says Goodbye


On October 9th 2007, our family held the funeral of my sister Noy. After the regular prayer, the buddhist ceremony followed and just a handfull of people left. I was amazed by the amount of people that wanted to stay for this ceremony. I'm not sure if any of you understand or have any knowledge of buddhism. Well, my family is buddhist but of course we are open to other religions.

My mother is very close to the Laos temple in Catlett VA (wat laos, buddavong). There were live monks at the funeral and they chanted. They lined up each family member in front of the casket and each of us had a monk's robe in our hands. In the robe there were flowers, candles, our name, and cash. We laid them on top of my sister because she was going to be cremated with it. The meaning of these items is to provide her with them for her journey. Once the strings and flowers are cut away, it is releasing her spirits and allowing her to go. After the ceremony, the monks followed my parents to their house, along with our friends and other family members. I followed my oldest sister and her friends to her house because we also had people over.

That night I had the most sad, scary, yet vivid dream! This is the first time Noy's face appeared since she passed away on October 4th. In my dream she had blonde hair with red streaks! I couldn't figure out why. Well, Noy and I were at my parents house and she was packing all of her things. I asked her where she was going. She said "I'm moving out Joy, I found a really nice barn/garage apartment right behind mom and dad's work. It is perfect because I can display all of my art work like my own little gallery, and it will only cost me pennies". I said "pennies, wow that is cheap"? I cried when she grabbed her things. She told me she loved me and that everything will be ok. Then she disappeared.

The next morning we had a family gathering at my parents house. It was just the family this time. For a whole week before her funeral, my parents had all of their friends, our family members, and monks to have private prayers for Noy. When I arrived at their house, I noticed a bunch of white string covering the whole house and around the backyard. While we were eating outside, I told my family about the dream I had. My sister Janet told me that Noy had blonde hair with red streaks because her best friend Masha has that same hair color. My mom said the reason why Noy was moving out in my dream is because her spirit is no longer allowed to return to the house. This is why the strings were covering the house and yard. It is to keep her away and remind her that she has to go on with her journey. I didn't even have to ask anyone about the pennies. I then remembered the monks putting aluminum foiled pennies inside her box before we cremated her.

I have attached a youtube slide to add to this posting. This slide contains my sister's artwork. Her artwork shows how spiritual she was. I would like to share her gift with everyone.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, ThaiFemme, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

HawaiiFemme (2 stories) (13 posts)
7 years ago (2015-10-16)
Hello Again:

I'm very sorry about the loss of Noy. I remember meeting her when we stopped by her Richmond apartment. Hopefully, she has found peace.

I miss you,
Jennifer ❤
ThaiFemme (2 stories) (5 posts)
13 years ago (2009-09-03)
My sister has actually appeared in my dreams quite a few times since my last post. One time it was to tell me that the guy that I was dating at the time was a great guy, but he's not good for me overall. We actually broke up almost a whole year ago. I've since then met someone else (most likely my future husband) and we're moving in together next month. He's wonderful. I think Noy would love him if she ever met him. I can't believe Oct 4 will be two whole years of her passing. Her twin nephews are getting older and they become more like her each day. My sister had a baby girl 10 months ago. She named her Anastasia Noy. I truely believe that Noy watches over all of us now. I do miss her so much. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that she left this earth at such a young age, and so much of her life was still ahead. But I am very blessed to spend time with her in my dreams. ❤
WIckedWitch2000 (1 stories) (71 posts)
13 years ago (2009-08-07)
Well, I certainly can't cry for you, because it's your sister. But I can apologize. I am REALLY sorry for your sister... My mother is a Buddhist... Well, not totally. She's just into some of those hand-carved Buddha's. But I am really sorry. If it were me, I would cry in until it was time to die. Oh geez. My house is full of Buddha's, (sigh) silly mother. (mine). Enough about my place. Take this: I am sorry for your loss and I hope your sister visits you one more time. I AM SO SORRY, Oh and I'm so sorry for my being of saying sorry. (^.^)
woodfairy1075 (6 posts)
13 years ago (2009-03-28)
I think it was a very nice experience and when my brother died 2 days later he sat on the side of my bed and I knew he was leaving after that.

sagemizu (30 posts)
13 years ago (2009-01-03)

Well where I live there a few temples that I know of but I've only been to like 3 or 4. One being in driving distance where the others you gotta take the freeway. I've actually started to tap into my Buddhist roots mainly memorizing the chants.
ThaiFemme (2 stories) (5 posts)
14 years ago (2008-10-29)

Yes I am Thai and Laotian. My parents haven't been back yet, but my mom plans to go home to Laos in February. Is there a temple in your area? There's quite a few here in Northern Va. Noy's ashes are sitting in a burial at our family temple. I just visited her a few weekends ago. It was her one year anniversary. I brought flowers to her grave. Right when I laid them down in front of her, a large yellow butterfly came down and sat on the flowers for a moment, then flew away. I truly believe that was Noy
sagemizu (30 posts)
14 years ago (2008-05-26)
Yeah I totally understand but for me it's usually the adults who have the dreams in my family. Sometimes when my parents have those dreams they get like lotto numbers and stuff. Well I'm sorry for your loss and I can relate although I didn't quite get an understanding but I do now. For me only the adults know about the strings but I don't think the kids did. Well I'm asuming you're either Thai or Laotion so did any of your family members go to Thailand or Laos since that's what my grandparents did when my great grandmother died. This was in the past but nowadays my family meaning parents and brother don't have the time to do the religious stuff. I missed going to the temples and hearing the chants cause they calmed me down.
whitebuffalo (guest)
15 years ago (2007-12-21)
ThaiFemme, I am so sorry for the loss of your sister as she was so much to you. Your story is kind of a tribute to her, is it not? Beautiful. That is what we build the fires for, Thai.
You know what I think is absolutely great here? You focused on what really needed to be put across. She was a beautiful person who created very beautiful things and had a purely spiritual side. And that is how she was able to come to you as a reminder that she will always love you and be a part of your life.
She may have looked different to you (blond hair with red streaks) as a gentle reminder that your relationship would be a bit different, but that she was the same Noy. She may have been "moving" to simply convey that she knew she had to go to the white light and she was ready. The pennies. Well, the pennies are just that.
There are no bill collectors on the Other Side. No rent to be paid, no vehicle payments, no cost of living. There are also no favors to repay, nothing but a peace we can not begin to yet understand.
I am sorry I spent so long here, but I just sensed a tremendous sadness here. And if it is you, Joy, and not some chemical switch off in my brain, you have nothing to be sad about. She is much better off. She is so happy. She has NO pain.
Thank you again for sharing this with me.
Bellissima (12 stories) (792 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-31)
Hi ThaiFemme. I'm sorry for the loss of your sister, her artwork is beautiful. I'm sure you miss her very much. I think it's touching that she came to you in your dream to say goodbye. She must have really loved you.
mustang (5 stories) (749 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-30)
I am very sorry for the loss of your sister. I loved your story! I'm so glad that your sister was able to come to you in your dreams to let you know she was ok and to say goodbye. Thank you for sharing your story and your sister's beautiful and unique artwork. -Shelby ❤
Ciel (2 stories) (29 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-30)
I think you are very lucky, I wonder if I would have witnessed my uncle and grandfathers goodbye dream if I stopped using my dream catcher, which seems to be effectively leaving me dreamless.
Missy (2 stories) (23 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-30)
I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. Your sister was a beautiful and talented person.
KimSouthO (27 stories) (1960 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-30)
Thank you for sharing your story about your sister as well as the glmpse at her beautiful art work! I am very sorry for your loss.

God Bless!
Elephant (3 stories) (4 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-30)
Thank you for sharing your lovely story.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. She was obviously a lovely person.
luvparanormal (12 stories) (268 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-30)
Sorry about your sis,
That is so nice to be able to have your love ones come back and say goodbye.
You are trully blessed. Thanks for sharing!

ozone_baby (2 stories) (28 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-30)
Your sister was a beautiful person. I am very sorry for your loss.
It sounds like to me that your dream was your sister's way of telling you that she was fine and not to worry.
I hope you and your family find peace, after such a heavy loss.
Ozone ❤
Shane (13 stories) (1258 posts)
15 years ago (2007-10-30)
I have always said that family often times returns to let us know that they are okay and to let us know how much they love us. This just goes to prove that it even crosses religious differences. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

Peace, Love, and Luck be with you.

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