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My Doppleganger Was Visiting My Mom Before She Passed


Let me just say before you read this that losing someone you love deeply changes you. It rocks your core and brings you to the edge of your faith whatever it may or may not be. This is me rocked, raw, and spilling my soul. Take it for what it is. She was young, I am young and this was a tragedy always in the cards for us.

These events I'm about to describe to you are my perception of the truth. I can't tell if all the wacky stuff I'm noticing is grief anymore. It's all very heavy.

My mother saw my doppelganger several times before passing away. She passed away seven months ago today. This has been a difficult year. The fact that I'm sharing this is nutty, but what's the harm? If anything, it feels good to share and remember.

My mother and I had a difficult relationship. We loved each other very much, but she drank until it caused her enough problems to pass away. I didn't see her for a year before she passed away. So sad. I missed and miss her now terribly. She always had something dark around her. Always. When they say addiction is a demon I've experienced it from both ends and it is something otherworldly. I guess they call them spirits for a reason.

Anyway, when she was in the hospital she was telling my aunt that she was seeing me. That I was beautiful again and that I owned a tea shoppe? That must have been what it sounded like sounded to her. My aunt chalked this up to being ill and still recuperating in the hospital from surgery, but it was repetitive. She was telling her I was coming by frequently. Like four visits in total my aunt said.

I wasn't aware until coming across a similar story that a doppelganger is associated with death. Meanwhile the real me had recently lost forty pounds straightened my life out and started working at a diner with a big tea cup sign on the front of the building. When my aunt told me the story unfortunately my mom was already unconscious and never woke up. I guess my doppelganger did one thing right. She gave my mom peace of mind before passing away. She let her know I was okay and my aunt said she seemed happy.

God as messed up as people can be I loved and love my mom so much. I wish I could tell you that I did see her and had peace myself. This is so much more than a ghost story. It's so difficult to write. My doppelganger comforted my mom whatever she was. I feel like she helped her and me. Not seeing my mom is one of the biggest regrets of my life and maybe this is a way of coping with the guilt. Guess I'll never know.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, leahbee, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

KatelynC (12 posts)
5 years ago (2017-12-31)
😭 😭 😭 feel bad so bad i'm sorry for loss so so so so so so sorry
mel8763 (1 stories) (19 posts)
5 years ago (2017-09-28)
Girl,I understand. Please contact me. You are not alone. I lost my mother 9 years ago, and if I had a computer I could communicate properly
Jubeele (25 stories) (882 posts)
5 years ago (2017-09-25)
Oh leahbee,

Words aren't really enough in times like this. Over the years, I've lost far too many family and friends. Each loss leaves behind another gaping hole. When we lost our little one and my father, one immediately after the other... There were times I could barely breathe through the pain. I struggled with depression for years before I finally got help to deal with its self-destructive influence.

But I've found that time does - eventually - make the pain easier to bear. So be gentle with yourself in the meantime. Remember that your mother loved you and as Whodat said, perhaps you were there after all: in spirit, if not in person.

If anything, remind yourself to cherish your loved ones all the more. Peace to you.
Whodat (42 posts)
5 years ago (2017-09-20)
Maybe the "doppleganger" was actually your spirit visiting your mom because you care about her. Your thoughts were probably about her since she was ill in the hospital and she somehow knew that. Just a thought.
babygoatpuller (4 stories) (432 posts)
5 years ago (2017-09-20)
I am so sorry for your loss leahbee. I know I was devastated too when my mom passed. I am quite sure it was also due to her drinking and I have been at both ends of the addiction nightmare so I know where you're coming from.

Try to take comfort in the fact that she "saw" you as you are now. Fit, healthy and doing well, which is how you'd want her to see you. This will help you to get over the regrets that can be guilt ridden, life destructive feelings that will affect everything you do.

My husband likes to say, "If it was meant to be...". I think this would apply aptly here. If you were meant to see your mom, then you would have seen her. I think some "force" in the universe would have made it happen.

Like I said, take comfort in the fact that you were strong enough to turn your life around and make it better. Use that strength to get you through this and know in your heart that your mom isn't suffering anymore and her love for you won't diminish is you don't have regrets.

Most of my regrets and/or guilt after she passed, came from not knowing if she was okay or not, until she came to me in a dream one night several years afterwards and let me know she was just fine.

Take care, be strong and know in your heart that you will see her again. 😊 ❤
AugustaM (7 stories) (996 posts)
5 years ago (2017-09-20)
I really really wish I could give you a hug. I have seen my mom go through losing her parents in an awful way and remember the waves of agony grief and stress that practically rolled off her though I have yet to go through it myself and I dread the inevitable day that I will. I do know what it is like to have a strained relationship with a parent that you still love very much, however. The last eighteen months must have been horrible for you and I am so sorry.

Given all the painful emotions of this period in your life - maybe what you mother saw was some sort of an unconscious astral projection of you. I am sure you would have wanted to bring her peace and, I think, you unconsciously sent a part of yourself to do just that.

You seem like a very strong person and you write beautifully. I truly hope you find a way out of your grief soon and the sun starts to shine in your life again. Reaching out to people on this site was a great and positive choice - opening up and letting things out is a very good thing. Grief and stress are powerful 'demons' in and of themselves but you have tackled worse and come through it and you never have to do it alone ❤

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