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Calm After The Storm

 

I used to be a terrible sceptic, but that all changed after my daddy's passing in 2013 - and for some reason, there's been a significant spike in my experiences since - especially these last few months.

20 August 2018

I had a heartbreaking argument with a friend who ended up 'cursing' me after I called her out on her numerous lies - always claiming she'd never said this or that. I said God may strike me if I'm lying, and her response was that God should strike me, he should strike me dead.

Days after I was still struggling to come to terms with her outburst, breaking down sobbing, thinking she not only called me a liar, but placed a death wish on me? I need to talk to someone about this, but I'm a very private person, so it festers, and the crying and feelings of hopelessness don't let up.

Do I deserve this because perhaps I'm a sh! Tty person? The only thing I know for sure is that I don't knowingly tell a lie - especially not one I feel will make me look good in other peoples' eyes. I'm too damn old to want to impress others and I can only imagine how tiring it must be to pretend being someone else.

I just realised I do lie. I do often lie knowingly - when someone asks me how I'm doing and I say I'm fine, despite my body being assaulted with pain. Isn't everyone guilty of that type of white lie?

6 September 2018

I'm at my local clinic to collect my monthly supply of medication. The place is packed, as usual, with more than a few disgruntled people voicing their displeasure at the waiting time. I'm not the most patient person, but I'm grateful for the free medication, so I sit and wait patiently, only raising my voice when someone is being rude or unreasonable, feeling ashamed at their lack of manners or gratitude.

The place is noisy, and it's difficult to even hear yourself think. Thank goodness they've installed a new system that announces your number and the window to collect your meds, at a volume that doesn't get drowned out by the raised voices in the overcrowded waiting area.

My folder's been collected so it's safe for me to stretch my legs. I'm thirsty and there are several informal traders outside the clinic peddling their products, but first I need the toilet.

At the swinging toilet door, someone knocks into me as I step inside and I turn to confront my accoster - but there's nobody there. In fact, the door in still open and when I pop my head out, the corridor is empty - no doors or corridors someone could have slipped into. Ok, perhaps a part of the door struck me.

I'm at the basin, at the far end of the toilet, washing my hands when I feel a cool brisk breeze passing by me, as though someone strode pass me - close by me. Probably a gust of wind had come in from the open windows? But it came from the direction of the door, and the door is closed. All the cubicle doors are open so I'm alone in there, and there's no-one else at the row of basins by the mirror (which in itself is strange, as there is ALWAYS someone (or several ladies) in the toilet.

As I turn to leave, my back to the windows now, I hear a disembodied voice, a gentle female voice: "She will answer for her deeds and words."

I feel as though I'm eavesdropping on a private conversation, and I feel an odd kind of peace come over me. Shame, someone's being comforted after being hurt by something someone did or said. I can relate.

As I'm walking toward the door, I hear the voice again. "Don't you worry, Apo, you're good people."

A feeling of surreal calm, warmth, and peace envelope me. I muttered a hasty 'thank you' and scrambled from the ladies' toilet, slumping down onto the closest empty chair. I've taken to carrying my diary with me wherever I go - just in case I needed to record something.

I have not seen my friend since August 20, and despite my newfound peace and serenity, I'm not convinced that I'm ready to face her. Should I reach out first or should I let her make the first move?

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Aporetic, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Isee1111 (1 stories) (5 posts)
+4
2 years ago (2018-10-03)
She's a liar and wished you dead for calling her on it? You dodged a bullet. I've recently been through the same thing. It hurts at first but does get easier. Do some research online about narcissism and see if it applies to her. I know this reply has nothing to do with the paranormal but I hope you move on to a healthier relationship.
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-10-01)
Greetings, MrsRizzo

Thank you for reading my account and your kind words.

I love what you said about a friend being a safe place. I couldn't have said it better myself. But one learns there are friends and there are FRIENDS!

The YGS community is awesome! Yes, not everyone will agree with what you say, but if you put the emotion aside, you'll see the value in their comments.

One has to understand that people react based on their knolwedge and own experiences and that's great - it presents opportunities for us to learn.

Stay well.

Kind regards
Apo
MrsRizzo2429 (4 stories) (93 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2018-09-30)
Hey there,
I wanted to stop in to say that your experience really resonates with me and thank you for sharing! You are showing others that it's ok to open up and share somthing that is going on in your life. I think that it shows courage and you may have given someone else courage.it's hard to open up especially to people you don't know. I am Glad you did. I think you should do what makes you happy and if that is having your friend back in your life that's ok to just tell her how you feel

And tell her that a friend should be a safe place for another friend and mean words do hurt as much as we somtimes say they don't. Anyways just my thoughts:) I hope everything works out for you.
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-09-23)
Thank you, babygoatpuller - your kind words warm my heart.

With much love and appreciation.

Regards
Apo
babygoatpuller (4 stories) (432 posts)
+4
2 years ago (2018-09-20)
Apo-

You've chosen wisely my friend. 😊 Only you can decide whether or not to have negative influences in your life, and this "friend" sounds like a doozy! It seems the only thing that was holding your "friendship" together was you. You let it continue to the point that you had to speak up and found out who she really was.

Now just let it sink in that you have eliminated that negativity and you can step a little lighter and feel better about yourself. The power is always in your hands and you can't help anyone unless you are 100% okay with you. ❤

If you run into her again, ignore her. That in itself, should send a powerful message.
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2018-09-18)
Greetings, lady-glow

I don't mind repeat messages - after all, 'great minds think alike', and 'the more the merrier' right.

I am much like you when it comes to relationships - I give it my all because I feel people deserve the best of me - which is why when it hurts, it HURTS! Perhaps we should adopt Marilyn Monroe's attitude:

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

The calm, peace and acceptance is something difficult to put into words to give it the appreciation it deserves, but in a simplistic form - it's like when a parent kisses the hurt better (Must mommy/daddy kiss it better?) - the transformation is nothing short of miraculous.

Thank you for your kind words. I've come to a point where I'd rather have ONE true friend than many pretend friends.

Go well and don't stop giving the best of you. Those who don't appreciate it will always be left wondering why they're all alone.

Regards
Apo
Realistic (7 stories) (44 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2018-09-18)
Hi Apo,

Thank you so much for your good thoughts.

Again, Wishing you all the best for a happy and (mostly) stress free future.
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
 
2 years ago (2018-09-18)
Greetings, annie

Another homegrown flavour - lekker!

"sometimes we need to move on for our own sanity." I completely agree with you. As females, we're natural nurturers, but some things are beyond our 'super powers'.

I'm still in awe of being chosen for such a positive affirmation. I feel blessed.

Thank you for reading and taking the time to post a comment.

Regards
Apo
annie16 (12 stories) (49 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2018-09-18)
Hi Apo. Greetings from Parys, Free State. I have a motto, clear and simple, "A lying friend is NO friend." Yes, it is always very hard to lose someone you considered a true friend but sometimes we need to move on for our own sanity.

Thank you for sharing your experience and such a positive message at that.
lady-glow (12 stories) (2684 posts)
+5
2 years ago (2018-09-18)
Aporetic - I haven't read the previous comments so, hope not to repeat something that has already been said.

First of all, in my opinion, the word "friend" is too big a compliment to give to someone that has been lying to you for a long time.

I know betrayal hurts but, it's always a good idea to keep in mind who is talking. I'm sure from now on it will be difficult for you to believe her.

In my opinion, you did nothing wrong and it's not up to you to make the first move and, the best thing to do would be letting life to take the reins... People come and go, and the world keeps going.

I believe reciprocity is vital to any relationship and, though my nature makes me as faithful as a dog, life has taught me that giving the best of oneself is not always appreciated by others nor reciprocated in the same way.

I find it fascinating the way hearing the voice gave you calm and peace regardless of the surroundings.

Thanks for sharing.
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
 
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Sorry, Realistic, it seems I've voted for you too often and the refresh option does not apply when you're told "Please vote for someone else". I could up vote only one of your comments.
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
We meet again, Realistic

Thank you for reading my account and taking the time to post a comment - a scary 'it is like you are in my head' comment, especially about the jealousy, as you're not the first person to mention it, and you are correct - I have reached a decision I feel is in MY best interests. Subsequent events of bad-mouthing and altered accounts of what happened has helped.

I can't, though, express my gratitude enough for the experience that brought about a peace and acceptance that would otherwise have taken me much longer to reach. Whether a guardian angel or a spirit present who picked up on my mental anguish, my gratitude, appreciation and thanks are boundless.

Thank you for your kind wishes and may they rebound to you tenfold.

Regards
Apo
Realistic (7 stories) (44 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Hi Aporetic,

What an amazing experience (bar your fight with your friend).

How many of us can boast of a message from the spirit world? Far less, a commendation of one's character.

I feel, when she wished you dead, she did it with all her heart. It could be there is a deep seated jealousy inside her which made her do what she did. You are probably aware of this and it has hurt you terribly.

I believe that although you wrote this down, you have already reached a decision. You are the best person who knows her. I am sure whatever path you follow, will be the right choice.

Best wishes for the future...
Realistic (7 stories) (44 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
To
Aporetic and Melda,

May I suggest something that might work for voting?

I tried to up-vote both of you and the same glitch happened. I could do so after I refreshed the page.
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
 
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Hahaha Greetings, BeautInside

The trolls can vote my comments into the negatives - I could care less. I'm more interested in the comments that help me understand why things are the way the are etc, and your insight into the psychological elements to arguments is invaluable.

Thank you for reading my account and taking the time to post an informative comment.

Regards
Apo
BeautInside (3 stories) (326 posts)
+4
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Somebody down voted your last comment Apo, but I've alraedy made it up to you 😁

Maybe I am next, am I right YGS troll? 😆
BeautInside (3 stories) (326 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Hello Apo,

I can tell the argument you had with your friend tore you down because he/she was very dear to you. If this wasn't true, than you wouldn't feel so sad about it and you would just let it go.

I agree with our dear Melda, most likely your friend feels the same way too. But pride is hard to overcome.
Nonetheless, if she was your friend for like 10, 15 or 20 years I think you should try to reconnect, but if this was a new friend that you didn't know that well then perhaps you should keep your distance if she made you feel such a bad person.

You know, when there's na argument both parts say things they probable shouldn't have said. Of course, one tends to be a bit meaner than the other. But as psychology says " Behaviour gerates behaviour", it means that if someone says something unpleasant the other part will counter-attack with the same unpleasant attitude.

As for the voice in the toilet, I think some guiding spirit which can be connected to you, took it as chance to let you know everything is going to be fine. 😉

Take care and don't ever doubt yourself. ❤
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
 
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Hahaha I can't vote for you either, Melda! I think we've been too active in the threads, but what is one to do when there's so much to read and consider?

I demand an audit! LOL
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
 
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Good morning, Melda

I concur, else I might have mistook it as just another comment in passing from someone or not have heard it addressed to me. I have been wracking my brain trying to find an association to the voice, but there's no familiar ring to it as with my experience in 'Not My Time Yet'. Perhaps my guardian angel?

No worries about the votes - I don't want you accused of being overly patriotic LOL. Have a lovely day. It's cold, wet, and windy on my side - the stay in bed and veg trifecta.

Regards
Apo
Melda (9 stories) (1292 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Aporetic - Having second thoughts on my comment to you about the restroom. I don't think the restroom had anything to do with it. It just happened to be the most quiet place compared with all the activity in the clinic. That message would have come through to you at some stage when you had a quiet moment.

I tried to vote for you but of course was told to vote for somebody else. Sorry about that.

I must agree that it's great seeing the Safricans here ❤

Regards, Melda
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Greetings, chloe

Thank you for your kind words. I think my restroom experience provided the motivation I needed to start putting the hurt to rest.

I'm thrilled that I've started keeping a journal (like some YGS members) to provide a more detailed account of my experiences, and I'm forever grateful and appreciative of our friends from beyond reaching out to comfort us.

Regards
Apo
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Greetings, RSAChick

It is indeed a lovely surprise to find so many fellow South Africans in the YGS community, and yes, I do believe our cultures are as different as there are nationalities in the YGS community. But that difference makes for interesting experiences, and there's so much we can learn from each other.

Thank you for reading my account, and taking the time to post a comment. Please send some of that Sabie sunshine my way.

Go well.

Regards
Apo
chloe26 (3 stories) (17 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2018-09-17)
Hi Apo,

As Joe of Princess Diaries once said, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

It is not your fault and you shouldn't blame yourself, arguments happen and when we're usually at a heightened state of anger (and defensiveness, on the case of your friend), we say things we're not proud of and almost always regret. And the sad part is, it hurts the most when it matters the most.

If you aren't ready to talk to her yet, then don't. Give yourself some time to heal. In time, when you're ready, you'll know it and you'll know what to say.

I hope you're feeling better already. Thanks for sharing your story! Maybe next time I won't be so scared of restroom encounters anymore. ❤
RSAChick (115 posts)
 
2 years ago (2018-09-16)
Hi from Sabie, MP.
So heartwarming to see all these South Africans chatting and supporting each other on this platform - Despite our different backgrounds and cultures (I'm guessing).
Have a lovely week ahead, albeit windy or scorching here on my side of the country!
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-09-16)
Melda, I have agonised over this submission - having started writing it, then discarding it (four times). I think more than anything, I needed to get it off my chest - those final few lingering, festering feelings.

Thank you for your kind words and sharing your own experience with me, to place some perspective on the matter. I knew someone here would be able to do that, and you are most welcome to share your experiences on my thread any time. I appreciate different perspectives, theories and the invaluable lessons and insights they provide.

I don't know what it is about restrooms, but I think in my case it was because it afforded the opportunity for a private moment? I'm wondering if I'd been listening to music through my earphones, as I often do at the clinic, to while away the time, if the message would have been conveyed via them.

As I've said in comments on other threads - I'm grateful for these interventions from our unseen friends.

About my friend - I can't promise I WILL reach out first, or that I want to repair the friendship. We've been friends for approximately 5 years - meeting as a friend of a friend - and I had often wondered whether the friendship was worth the effort or time spent invested in it. People grow apart, and as Oscar Wilde said: "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."

Or as I'd recently read on Facebook: "The most dangerous creature on this earth is, A FAKE FRIEND".

LOL [at] your comment about me complaining about the wind. After I'd posted my comment I realised my folly, but nothing comes close to the Cape Doctor. The incident of the old man is indeed a sad one, it makes me appreciate why, a few years ago, the City cancelled the New Years Eve celebration when the wind started roaring in earnest and started knocking over the metal barriers they'd put up.

Another incident: I was in my twenties when I was using the bus service to and from work and on our way home, I was seated on the upper deck of the double decker and the bus got swept off the road, landing in a ditch at a precarious angle. It was a mission getting off, but at least there were no injuries or fatalities.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment.

Regards
Apo
Melda (9 stories) (1292 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2018-09-16)
Aporetic - I was pleasantly surprised to find a story here from you a few minutes ago.

What is it with restrooms, I've read so many stories about how haunted some of them are. I've never experienced it but many others have. Somebody who cares deeply about you feels your pain (probably physical and emotional) and is there helping you cope, even though you weren't aware of it before. That is very comforting.

I know exactly what you're talking about because I've experienced something similar. I won't go into all the details because this is your story thread. This lady and I have been best friends for over 30 years. We also had a huge clash and I was called names. I must admit I called her a few price names as well because, in my view, she was expecting something from me which I was unable to deliver. Even in the name of friendship one can only do so much. What she asked of me I couldn't even have done for my own children. After that she wouldn't accept my phone calls and didn't try to contact me until one day, over a year later, she suddenly contacted me out of the blue.

My advice to you is this. Do what I tried to do at that time and try to smooth things over, even though you weren't in the wrong. If she rejects you, there is nothing you can do but wait for her to arrive on your doorstep, as was the case with me.

This friend and I will be friends forever, I don't think we can avoid it. There is such a special bond between us. If you and your friend share such a bond, the friendship will return to even keel and all will be forgiven.

I was thinking to myself: "She's complaining about a windy Cape Town and Temilicious lives in Port Elizabeth." We know PE is the windy city (like Chicago in USA, I think). Then I remembered ah, South-Easter time! When I was still living in Cape Town I worked in the Old Mutual building in Darling Street and one morning I was looking through the window down into the street and saw an elderly gentleman being blown right off the sidewalk in front of a bus. Unfortunately he was killed. That wind can be horrendous, especially for the elderly and children.

I'm thinking of you Apo and understand how you feel. Do you know what? Your friend feels exactly the same.

Regards, Melda
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+3
2 years ago (2018-09-16)
A note to the Editors:

You've got your game faces on today LOL This narrative was published within 30 minutes of me submitting it.:D Thanks.

Regards
Apo
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
 
2 years ago (2018-09-16)
Greetings, from a perpetually windy Cape Town, Temilicious

It's a treat 'meeting' another fellow South African in the YGS community. Lekker! LOL

I agree with what you said - but that doesn't make what they say any less painful though.

Sometimes we just need to hear we're ok as far as being human goes, and I'm grateful for the validation. I'm not overly religious, but I will comfort myself by telling myself "God knows what's in my heart."

Go well.

Regards
Apo
Temilicious (7 stories) (99 posts)
+5
2 years ago (2018-09-16)
Hi Apo,

Greetings from Port Elizabeth.

Some people are not worth the time or energy, especially people who make you feel bad about yourself.

That's all I have to say. Thank you for sharing your experience. Looks like someone up there's got your back.

😉

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