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Fathers Passing... And Return

 

Hey everyone,

It's been quite sometime time since I've been on here.

I kind of stepped away from the paranormal for a while when my dad's cancer came back. That's the reason I'm writing this, to share the experiences I've had during and after the dying process. For anyone that's been next to a loved one that was dying, they may agree that many strange occurrences happen.

In February of 2021 my dad went in to have his vocal cords removed due to cancer. The operation was successful. Things were tough due to communication issues, but he was alive and seemed to be healthier than ever. That's all that matters.

Unfortunately that following November when he went in to get his second follow up biopsy, they found that his cancer had metastasized to his right kidney and in the course of the three month gap between biopsies it progressed to stage 4.

On the night of June 17, 2022 my mom texted me that my dad said he was going. I rushed over. He held on for seven more days.

During those days the atmosphere felt so heavy. Even while alone it always felt like you were in a crowded room. You'd hear someone pacing the hallway when everyone at the house was in my father's room. You'd hear faint conversations when no one was talking. Doors that would be opened after you know you closed them.

One night we were all with my dad sharing memories and joking around to keep the mood as light as you can in such a situation. The basic stuff. I was leaning against my mom's dresser when I felt something hit me lightly on the side of my bicep. I look all around me to find what it was. Nothing. So I ask if someone just threw something at me. No one said they did. The best way to describe what it felt like was if someone took a balled up piece of paper and played with it until it was very soft and tossed it at you. After discussing it, we all seemed to realize at the same time that my grandmother used to playfully punch me in that same spot. It gave me both chills and joy at the thought she was saying hey.

Another encounter happened to my younger sister, she was in her room when she suddenly smelt burning sage and then sweet grass. Then she heard a man say something. She immediately recognized the voice belonging to my dad's friend that passed suddenly many years ago (I've talked about him in a previous story, he was Native American, same as my dad).

Though out that week many of us on different occasions saw a shadow figure that would peek its head around the threshold of my dad's bedroom door. It didn't have the shape of anyone any of us recognized so no one could really agree as to who or what it was. A friend of my sisters believed it was something malevolent. But I didn't and still don't think so. During this time we were able to communicate with dad through yes and no questions. We'd ask if a person that we knew who had passed was there and he nod or shake his head accordingly. We gathered through this that both my grandparents and three family friends that had passed were there, but also someone he didn't know, but said wasn't a threat. That's why I believe the figure was a guide from the other side.

On June 24, 2022 at 10:45am my dad took his final breath. He was 70 years old. The moment he left, all the heaviness that had been there all week seemed to also leave, but the experiences stayed and took on a new feeling.

About an hour and a half after he had passed, I was outside with my sister, our cousin and my sister's friend when we heard a car door shut. This particular door shutting can't be mistaken, it was the driver's side door to my dad's 1968 Chevy C-10 pickup truck. It had belonged to my grandfather before he passed. My dad loved this truck. It has been sitting not running for a long while. Just days before my dad died, my nephew decided to get it running again and gave it a wash. We think my dad was taking one last look.

A few nights after, another of our friends was walking to the kitchen when he suddenly heard a voice say his name behind him.

He's not really a believer but he insists the voice he heard was dad's. On another night I was sitting on the back steps and he was standing in front of me talking when he jumps and says that he just glanced at the screen door and saw my dad's silhouette standing there.

Fast forward a couple of months, things got bad financially and I had to move back to my parents' house. My mom doesn't sleep in the bedroom anymore so I moved into it. Same room/bed my dad passed in. On occasion when I'm trying to get to sleep I feel someone lay next to me, in the spot my dad laid. Sometimes I'll feel someone grab my big toe and yank it, something my dad used to always do. One day I went to pick up my phone and as I pulled it toward me it felt like someone tried to pull it out my hand. It didn't feel aggressive and in that instant I had a mental imagine of my dad grinning.

It took me a few months to finally feel something after his passing. After he had passed I didn't feel. I was numb. I didn't cry or anything. Then one day it hit me full force. But it wasn't sadness that over came me, it was anger. It was hatred. I'm not a hateful person, but in that moment I hated all the doctors and nurses that had worked with my dad. I hated their "lies" that he would be alright. I hated them for not stopping the cancer like they'd promised. I hated God for allowing this. And as bad as it sounds, I hated my dad simply because he'd died. I wanted so bad to punch him square in the jaw. To cuss him out for not stopping smoking when he was told to stop 18 years ago. I remember looking at a picture of him and just yelling "F you! You stupid S.O.B! F you!" Just yelling "F you" over and over until finally the tears came and I cried my self to sleep. It was around 3am when I woke up to someone walking around the room. I hear the steps walk to one side and what sounded like someone going through things, then the steps would walk to the other side of the room and again things being gone through.

I had a fish tank that I kept the light on at night, so I could see I was alone. So I sit up and mutter, "What the hell?". Then as clear as day I hear my dads voice say, "It's me, Bud. It's ok to be angry" followed by something I couldn't make out.

A few nights ago it cooled down outside to 68 degrees so I decided to go out and walk the property. I don't know why but I grabbed my Spirit Talker, those little boxes that displays a word and a computer voice says the word. As I was walking I turned it on and a short while later it started talking:

Box: (my dads name)

Me: what about (dads name)?

Box: Honest

Me: what's he honest about?

Box: trees

My dad was Native American. He was a story teller and one of his main talking points was about Mother Earth and how the trees play an important role in life and how we should respect them and honor nature.

Me: where is (dads name)?

Box: come and go

Me: why does he come and go?

Box: Happy

Being a skeptical believer I take those boxes with a grain of salt, but I couldn't help but get a tad emotional.

This is the longest post I've made. I may have added things that may seem unnecessary, but I felt them necessary to put some of the things I experienced into context.

Thank you for reading.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, ScareTale, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

ellielightfoot (4 posts)
 
1 month ago (2024-03-15)
[at] valkricry, understood! Thanks for letting me know, that makes sense.
valkricry (49 stories) (3269 posts) mod
+1
1 month ago (2024-03-14)
ellielightfoot,
Since you're new, I'll cut you some slack. First, thanks for actually commenting on the stories before launching into what could be labeled 'spamming' the site about your site 'spooked'. I noticed you have all that info on your profile, which is great! So, instead of 'spamming' the site by regurgitating the same info over and over, try just inviting them to look at your profile if interested in sharing their story with your site. 😊
ellielightfoot (4 posts)
 
1 month ago (2024-03-12)
Hi there Kota,

I'm so sorry for your loss, and feel honored to have read your story. Thanks for sharing it.

My name is Ellie, I'm a journalist with a NPR podcast called Spooked. We feature true paranormal stories, told firsthand by those who've experience it. We hope our stories not only resonate emotionally with listeners, but raise bigger, more universal questions, as well as help the storyteller and folks who may have experienced similar things feel less alone.

I hope it's okay, but I wanted to reach out to see if you might be interested in sharing your story on Spooked sometime down the line (doesn't have to be soon, if you're not in a place to). I was really moved by your story and your relationship to your father, by how your feelings progressed through time. As someone with Cherokee ancestry, I also appreciated your fathers connection with the earth and world of spirits.

Anyways, sorry for the long post. Please feel free to reach out with any questions or concerns. My email is ellielightfoot [at] gmail.com, or your can call/text ‪ (346) 471-1233‬. I'd love to set up a time to chat with you, informally, just to get to know each other and explain the process at Spooked.

Thanks for considering it, and again, my sincere condolences for your loss.

Warmly,
Ellie
Rajine (14 stories) (776 posts)
+3
7 months ago (2023-09-10)
Condolences to you and your family, losing a loved one is never easy, and one never gets over it, no matter how many years pass by.

In retrospect you are right in saying that lots of strange occurances take place before someone passes away, it's like sort of a warning.
lady-glow (16 stories) (3157 posts)
+3
7 months ago (2023-09-09)
ScareTale.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Anger is one stage of grief... Your loss is still fresh and the pain raw. It is said that time will help, but I don't agree, we just have to learn to live with the new "normal".

If my words may be of comfort, just think that your father must have appreciated to be surrounded by his loved ones, both in the physical world and in the spirit realm. Some saying their goodbyes with love and grief, and others welcoming him with love and joy.

I guess it is never easy to watch a loved one during their transition, regardless of the way it may be. But one can always be grateful of the time spent with them and of the love and good memories shared through ones life.

Thanks for sharing.
ScareTale (8 stories) (14 posts)
+4
8 months ago (2023-09-09)
Thank you all for you condolences.

[at] MiaG and CrimsonTopaz, I'm sorry for y'alls loss as well. I know my dad doesn't want me to be angry. I've since had time to reflect and I know now I was mostly angry that I had been gone out of state for 7 years working and only 1 year after I got back his cancer came. So I guess just having made so many plans to go and spend time together never happening is what got me. I felt robbed.

MiaG, I personally didn't feel like the shadow figure was someone I knew. The feeling I got was that it was a guide. But I do know first hand that loved ones will visit right after they pass, my grandma passed while I was away and I woke up that night and saw her standing at my room door right before I got the call. She even said, "You couldn't make it to see me, so I came to see you".

[at] RCRuskin: The number of people that were there the whole time was 6. With another 6 that would stop by at least once a day. Then there were the various people that only stopped by once to say their goodbyes then leave.

Cancer and dementia are both a horrible scourge. I deeply hope the day comes where medical science can stop them. At the least keep them at comfortably treatable levels.

[at] Linjahaha: Sorry for your loss and thank you. It helps knowing that others understand.
92 years, you father lived a long life and was loved as well as loved back. That's always something to be grateful for.
Don't worry about being prejudice, I believe everyone that has a great relationship with their parents has the right to be bias towards them. He was the best father you knew just like mine was the best I knew. That just shows how much you loved him.
Linjahaha (24 stories) (127 posts)
+3
8 months ago (2023-09-08)
ScareTale: Likewise, my sincerest condolences go out to you, & your family. I know, exactly, how you feel. I lost my dear husband & my Dad within 10 years of each other. Very tough. The 2 men I loved 'most' in the world.
However. I did have several beautiful spiritual visitations from my dear husband. After those lovely visits I felt so peaceful & somewhat joyful just 'knowing' that John was alright & knew how much I'll always love him.
I lost my wonderful father a year ago last July. Now, I am able to console & help my Mom deal with it. My sister & I have been doing 'everything' to help her cope. It never goes away. You just learn to deal & live with it. I 'still' cry over John. Now, I'm also crying over losing dad. He was 92 & the best father a girl could ask for. Pardon the prejudice, but "I" thought he was the 'best'. He did so much for all of us.
I believe my mom is having visits from him & not realizing it yet.
She said that she's heard him shuffling down the hallway on his walker & thought she felt him in bed next to her. I think he's trying to comfort & assure her that he's alright.
We have to recognize the signs. If we open our hearts & minds the signs are more prolific than we even realize!

Again-I understand & identify
With you. All the best! ❤ ❤
MiaG (29 posts)
+3
8 months ago (2023-09-08)
Hello ScaryTale,
My condolences go out to you and your family at such a sad time. May your dad RIP.

I love how your dad believed trees were an important part of life deserving respect. I agree, and yet so many developers here in Australia are cutting down beautiful old bush trees for new dwellings leaving Koalas and other wildlife homeless. That's another topic for another time.

When you saw the shadow figure standing by the door, did you sense it may have been someone in particular? I saw my uncle stand at my doorway when I was younger only to find out the next morning he passed away roughly the time I saw his shadow.

Our loved and lost will always find ways to communicate with us, we just have to be open minded and look for the signs.

You have your grandma indicating with a light punch to your arm on the arm and your sister smelling burning sage, all strong signs that they're trying to comfort you.

CrimsonTopaz/my sister and I lost our dad to cancer too. It was the hardest thing to witness and the memory always stays with you, but I have many many joyful memories that I think about that bring warmth to my heart and tears of joy to my eyes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, as hard as it is, focus on the all thejoyous memories. Your dad would want to see you hurt less.

Thank you for sharing this touching experience. You are very brave and you should be proud that you have been able to put it all into words for us to read.

Best wishes,
Miandra G
RCRuskin (9 stories) (817 posts)
+5
8 months ago (2023-09-08)
May his Memory be Eternal.

First, a question: how many living, and in their bodies, people were present? I gather it was you, your dad and mom, and your sister, but was there anyone else you could see present at the time?

And just thoughts: I wonder what is worse: cancer which plays a mean (in many senses of the word) game of hide and seek, or dementias that slowly rob us of our loved ones while they still live? When my dad passed of cancer last year, he told me he was scared of the treatments. He was also scared of the disease. It frustrated me so. All of us, really.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+3
8 months ago (2023-09-08)
ScareTale, I'm deeply sorry you've lost your dad. Cancer isn't easy on the person with it and hard for family to watch our loved ones who have it. It surfaces and if not treated can consume the body fast and furious.
Sadly I do understand what you're going through. I lost my dear father the same way. His weight dropped rapidly and within weeks he was a skinny shell of himself.
Your dad told you it's ok to be angry. I think he wants to grieve more than be angry. Anger won't bring him back. Grieving will help you reflect on all the good times, funny moments, treasured times, and love he gave you and your family. Your dad is gone, but that love is in your heart forever to feel.
I found reflecting to my youth and all the family things we did helped.
Be strong and remember how much he loved you and how much you will always love him.

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