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I Miss My Father Dearly:

 

As a child from a huge family, being one of the eldest had many advantages and many disadvantages.

The advantages were staying out with friends later, being able to go out with friends to concerts, shows, and movies. (We couldn't afford that though).

The disadvantages were having to take our younger siblings with us and bring them home early, help with chores around the home, and being encouraged to get a job after school and weekends in our teen years.

The money we earned, was ours, but we'd help our parents by giving them a small amount. My father was proud and never put his hand out for anything, not even money for bread. He worked so hard from early hours until late, and when he got home he was really tired and hungry. Before eating, he would always say, 'have the children had enough to eat'? (That's the sort of father he was. Always putting my mother and all of us first, all 9 of us.) My mother always fed us early, made sure we did our homework and by the time my father got home we'd be ready to sleep.

My mother is old now and often ill. Various things burden her health constantly. I visit her from time to time and usually stay for a few days a time and help her by cooking and freezing meals and doing what I can. My other siblings do the same. They go and clean weekly and help where they can.

My parents were childhood sweethearts and after my dad died my mother never remarried or went on dates with men.

Up until this day my father is seen or his presence is felt in our family home, where they lived for over 40 odd years. I must add, since my eldest brother died, my father isn't seen or felt around the home as much.

There were no previous owners. My parents lived there from the time the house was built. There's no cemeteries or burial grounds near the home. The spirit can only be that of my father. The feeling I get is a comforting, homey feeling like he's watching over my mother and the rest of us.

Sometimes when I cook at my mother's place, I feel my father around me. My mother doesn't pick up on his presence these days. She can barely remember when we call her and we all call her daily.

I'm a lot older than my younger sister who is also a member on this site. Nearly 11 years older. She is one of the youngest and in her mid 50s, I'm one of the eldest and in my mid 60s. When my younger sister visits my mother she sees my father's shadow up and down the corridor near my mother's room.

What I don't understand, is why my sister sees my father's shadow, and I feel him around like a comforting, homey feeling. I have seen my father's spirit in the past. But these days I feel his presence.

Does anyone else have these feelings replacing sightings of spirits?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, CrimsonTopaz, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

MiaG (29 posts)
 
3 months ago (2024-03-07)
Hello Twighlight1011,

Thank you for your reply. I wanted to use my old ID to reply but can't click on the name to get to the profile. I'm sure CrimsonTopaz won't mind me using her thread to respond to you

I'm glad the astrology is keeping you interested. Yeah, I find it very accurate too. Did you get around to doing your free birth chat?

I'm still waiting for my mum to visit so I can write something. Unfortunately she hasn't. I have had a few dreams where she visits. Maybe she's trying and that's how she can make contact until she learns how to make herself visible.

I hope you are well, take care. Miandra
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
11 months ago (2023-07-03)
RCRuskin, I'm so glad you've explained that. There's nothing worse than not being able to solve a rhyme. Lol
PS: sorry I have put this comment here, I wasn't sure where to post it.
Sleeping-with-steve (guest)
+2
1 year ago (2023-03-15)
Hello Tweed,

Thank you. It's been difficult to talk about mum without bursting into tears. Last time we visited mum and dad's grave, we had a laugh remembering some things mum would say. I guess the pain is finally easing.

My parents are buried in the same grave. They purchased the lot when dad was alive. It's quite lovely that they are buried together for all eternity. May their souls RIP.

Enough of the sad chat, hope your well. Good to see you back online.

Best wishes,
SWS
Tweed (35 stories) (2501 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2023-03-15)
CrimsonTopaz, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. Love to you and SWS.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2023-03-14)
Tweed,
Thanks for the lovely analogy of my father's passing. I never saw it like that but now you have explained that he doesn't want scare me and just wants me to get on with it, that does sound like something he'd do.
We lost our mum just 12 months ago and SWS is still waiting to see mum. May they both RIP now they're finally together again.
Tweed (35 stories) (2501 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2023-03-14)
Hi CrimsonTopaz,

Your father sounds like a really great guy. The way you describe him might also answer your question.
Something that's been said on here over the years is 'as in life, so in death'. Meaning who we are now will continue on in the great beyond.

As your father was a hard working man in life who needed to know the kids had eaten enough before he could relax, this might be just the attitude he's taking on the other side. So, you kids have grown up, you're independent, (you've eaten), and his job is done, now he can relax. Not that he doesn't want to make himself known, it's his work ethic, his priorities in life might be the same now. He also might not want to bother you, or scare you, this could be a generational thing with him.

The bond of love doesn't change. If anything I believe it gets stronger❤️

Thanks for sharing.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2023-03-05)
The_Lost_Voyage_11, My sincere condolences go out to you on the loss of your father and friend. You have given so much insight in your reply. I appreciate you putting so much time into replying. You and AuzzieDaz have similar thoughts and knowledge on some situations and I really enjoy learning from both your comments and experiences. I'll have to keep on Mia/SWS's case about reading YGS again. She's kind of lost, and when I visit her I often chat about some comments she'd find interesting to get her back online again. She's caught up with her little dog and seems to be blocking feelings she should be dealing with. It's only just been a year since mum passed away. It happened when we all thought she was getting stronger. Mum was scared and told my brother not to leave her incase she didn't wake up. Towards the end, she wanted us to leave her TV and lights on at night because she felt like if she woke up during the night and it was dark that she'd feel like she'd be gone. She was always so strong, straightforward and direct and became completely the opposite towards her last days. (She was fragile, baby-like and forgetful) May she RIP. Thank you The_Lost_Voyage_11 for your reply. Most appreciated.
The_Lost_Voyage_11 (7 stories) (246 posts)
+4
1 year ago (2023-03-04)
Hello CrimsonTopaz, I will add in here that when a loved one passes, they have access to so much more wisdom, I mean they knew us well in life but they know so much more when they've crossed over.

I know when my grandfather passed, I'll never forget the day of his funeral. It was an unusually warm September day, but there were ladybugs everywhere, and we all saw them. From that day on when I see ladybugs, it reminds me of him. My aunt buys all manner of things ladybug as it's her connection to him (her father).

As I mentioned in another post, they find a way to connect with us, but they also know how to do it in a way that we'll know it's them and a way we can handle. Many people miss their departed loved ones, and wish to see them again, but the one who's crossed 'knows' a direct manifestation in spirit may be more than the person can handle at the time. For some it provides closure, for others I know it's made things worse.

I cannot speak for your sister's experience, but I wouldn't be surprised if your mother's shown up in other ways and signs for her. The feelings you described in your story are a way they show up, in dreams is another. Sometimes it smells like cigar smoke or a favorite perfume, if that was their thing in life.

The point is, they know best and have access to that wisdom to show up in ways that are best for us. I know when a good friend of mine passed years ago, he showed up clearly in a dream to say goodbye and also for me to pass a message on to his daughter whom he was close to and was very distraught over his passing. He knew that was the best way to reach me, as I don't like to see spirits/ghosts directly (due to early experiences) His daughter was very troubled by his unexpected death and apparently he couldn't reach her because of that and asked me to pass the message along, and I didn't even know her that well, but I did it anyways.

Hopefully this helps and I believe in time you and your sister will receive more signs and perhaps sightings/visitations from your mother. I feel she's not far away from either of you! Good luck!
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2023-03-01)
AuzzieDaz,You saying- YOUR FATHER IS WITH YOU" and this story definitely has more relevance than coincidence. You're psychic for sure.
I'm convinced dad took mum in his arms and into the next realm. He never left the family home. Mia used to see him wondering around the home. I'm so sorry you are still feeling the loss of your mum. Never the truer quote than the one, *The loss of a mother can never be replaced, but the the love of a mother can never be lost* (Kelly Flannery) Chin up, and I'll give Mia your regards. She'll like that. Thank you Darren.
aussiedaz (19 stories) (1565 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2023-02-28)
Hi Crimson Topaz, It may just be a coincidence, however, my last three words on the other thread. "YOUR FATHER IS WITH YOU" and this story of yours might just have more relevance than what I knew at the time I posted it.

Give my best wishes to Mia, sometimes we don't pick up on signs or see our departed loved ones for months or even years. Take strength from knowing your father was able to come through when he did. It always hurt so much when you lose your mother. Reflecting on how lucky I was to see and speak to my own mother after she crossed, was truly a blessing for me. Nevertheless, I still miss her and look forward to seeing her again one day.

I think they understand our reasons for being here C.T. Just picking up on feeling your father's presence, rather than seeing him, is probably his own way of letting you guys get on with your own lives. They know our lives are a flash in the pan CT, so they do tend to leave us be at times. He would have been there for your mother, that I have no doubt about.

Regards daz
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2023-02-28)
Daz, That makes sense. I always enjoy reading your take. You have an incredible amount of knowledge on a few areas of paranormal existence like multi universes etc. I've talked to my sister about this stuff. I always want to know more and become like a sponge. Mia won't jump online much these days. She's pretty torn about mum passing. We went to our parents grave this week and she just crumbled. I can hold it together but she's a bit lost. Just recently an Op wrote about an experience they had when their mum passed. I don't know what it was, but I'm keen to get Mia to read more on that. She's concerned she hasn't seen mums spirit like she's seen others. She was very close to mum, probably the closest of all of us kids. Because she was around mum all the time and lived with her for years up until 6 years ago is making it hard for her. I'm sure in time she'll improve. About being the same age and without illness when spirits visit, Mia has said something to that affect. I don't want to speak for her, I'll only get it wrong. I've texted her, but she's doing other stuff keeping busy. Thanks for your feedback Darren.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
 
1 year ago (2023-02-25)
PoliexterLy,
Thanks for being civil with your reply. If you know about IP addresses and so forth, you'll clearly see that SWS and I have different providers. Having said that, if she visits, she uses my wifi. (I said-myself) because I was referring to my message that unbeknown to me was still in the first browser. I left the PC - made coffee and didn't see a reply, but that's because my message was obviously still in the first browser. Not knowing that, I clicked publish in the second browser - which obviously caused the messages to leave in the wrong order that they were typed. I didn't include SWS because she can speak for herself. I don't even mark up her karma points. Neither of us give a flying duck about points to be frank. As for being your senior - being in my 60's doesn't have any change on my attitude thank goodness. Enjoy your day
Pelatiah (4 stories) (74 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2023-02-25)
Rex,
Mrs.Ramsay/Pelatiah here.
From Encycl. Britannica:
"Pale, (from Latin palus, "stake"), district separated from the surrounding country by defined boundaries or distinguished by a different administrative and legal system.

It is this definition of pale from which the phrase "beyond the pale" is derived.

In imperial Russia, what came to be called the Pale of Settlement (Cherta Osedlosti) came into being as a result of the introduction of large numbers of Jews into the Russian sphere after the three partitions of Poland (1772, 1793, 1795)."

The Pale was a terrible place to live in the mid-late 1800s.

There were also English Pales in Ireland, very early, and France (but I'm not sure when).

I'm a history & genealogy nut, so I know these trivial things.:)

Pelatiah
PoliexterLy (2 stories) (92 posts)
+3
1 year ago (2023-02-25)
Hi crimsontopaz!
All I was trying to say was that when you commented:

"You've asked for opinions and have some great comments from pelatiah, Rajine, Lady glow and MYSELF however you have only replied to lady glow. Is there any point in members commenting further?"

How come you said 'myself' when it was sws that commented that? That's what makes me suspicious that you two are the same person. We have had many members in the past do this. You don't have to project onto me by saying I have multiple IDs. Hopefully no feelings are hurt on your side.
All due respect... Since you're my senior, for the website on finding IP's, I know what you're talking about.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2023-02-25)
Poliexterly,
Let's stop behaving like kids shall we? This isn't the forum. People come here for real help and support and after looking at your profile and reading your comments with high karma points on 80% of your dibble, I believe you have multiple member IDs. (Which I can look into with a program I have on my PC, BUT I WON'T) If you want to email me, feel free. Other than that, keep your observations to yourself. I had 2 browsers open, and may have clicked, (publish) in the wrong order. I was with Mia and she said she'd like to know more about the experience the OP had with her mum passing, so I followed up by saying how come our comments weren't included in her reply. The OP graciously thanked everyone for commenting which was sincere, and I had no need to comment further about that. You on the other hand post 2 sentence replies to stories in most cases, that are hurtful to the OPs and I seriously think you need to find something else to do with your time.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2022-07-08)
Ladyglow,Thank you for lovely message. You have a very kind heart. Your words of condolences are much appreciated. My sister is very upset as she was the closest to my mum and hopefully in time our tears will ease and our smiles will increase when we look back on all the beautiful memories.
lady-glow (16 stories) (3158 posts)
+4
2 years ago (2022-07-08)
CrimsonTopaz.

I offer my deepest condolences to you and your family for the loss of your mother, may her memory live on forever.
Cherubim (14 stories) (245 posts)
+4
3 years ago (2021-09-10)
Your story really tugged on my heart strings. ❤ It's wonderful that you came from a loving family. We all have different learning styles, maybe it's that way in the spirit world too, they come to us the way we'd understand best. My brother and sister died young, I was close to both of them. My brother comes to me in dreams often, but I've never had a dream of my sister or felt her presence. I often wonder why I never dream of her like I do so many other family members that have died? Life and death sure are a mystery!
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+4
3 years ago (2021-07-02)
CrimsonTopaz, I also wanted to apologize (briefly) because, for some reason, I thought you were male. ('Topaz' in my language is a masculine noun.) Sorry if I made confusing statements ❤
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+5
3 years ago (2021-07-02)
Sleeping-with-steve,

I am sorry, I will try to do better by the guidelines.
Sleeping-with-steve (guest)
+2
3 years ago (2021-07-02)
Hello GingerBug,

Thank you for sincere comments on our dad. (CrimsonTopaz is my sister).

On 'Your ghost stories.com', they like you to comment on the post you are replying to and try not to sway into other stories or talk on a thread that isn't related. (Please don't be offended. I'm just letting you know before you get pulled up on it.)

You can email members who have their email details on their profiles to discuss matters that may be personal or simply have a chat.

I've read your comments and I agree with my sister, you do write very well and have obviously got many memories to share.

Best wishes,
😘
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+7
3 years ago (2021-07-02)
CrimsonTopaz,

Thank you for your kind words. They are actually really appreciated.

My great grandpa actually totally spoiled me. I was not asked to help around with anything at all and if I wanted, I could spend all day long reading books in the 'orange-curtain room'.

While my aunt (aged 17 at the time) was chased out to do her weeding.

But I helped anyway.

The reason why I have such developed opinions on weird stuff is actually also related to the father issues.

My great grandfather was a really good role model but he was old and I guess there were some things I could not learn in that relationship. That it's different somehow.

And when I was about 6 - 7, I started sneak-watching 'The X-Files' and I sort of 'adopted' special agent Fox Mulder as my 'spiritual' father:)

I tried to be like him and I really admired him (as well as agent Scully) and I learned to combine intuition, knowledge in science and folklore / mythology with simply sound judgement and knowing the human character.

It stayed with me all through these years and I was quite entertained to read in last week's National Geographics that the US military has released an official report on UAPs (Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon) which is the new term for UFOs. 143 cases out of 144 - unexplained muhahahahaha... 1 out of 144 = deflated air balloon 😁

Personally, I think those are not aliens but what we have been calling fairies.

There are ancient texts and pictures from over than 6000 years ago indicating that aliens might have visited us in spaceships.

If they were flying 'saucers' back then, I believe they must have advanced far beyond such technology, perhaps, having developed methods of teleportation etc.

Because that is more sustainable and resource-effective. Why would aliens keep using 'outdated' crafts that they had 6000 years ago?

I think those are terrestrial technologies observed by the military, just not human-made.

I came to these thoughts after reading 'Artemis Fowl' and massive amounts of different culture fairy stories.

And this is how I roll:D
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
3 years ago (2021-07-01)
Gingerbug,
Your great grandfather obviously did a great job raising you because you turned out to be the person you are today. I might not know you, however, I do sense a genuine, caring, kind, and not to mention a clever individual who writes really well.
Stay well and happy my friend.
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+4
3 years ago (2021-07-01)
It was very meaningful and touching to me.

To be honest, I never had a proper father (I had a really awesome greatgrandfather though and another cool grandpa who, unfortunately, lived quite far away).

And reading about such father figure and trying to 'trace' their motivations and realizing that they might be even after death trying to find new ways to be with their loved ones and to create safety for them - briefly speaking, it was a delightful morning I spent thinking of it:)

So thank you for sharing your experience.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
3 years ago (2021-07-01)
Gingerbug,
What a lovely reply and once again so detailed and full of interesting feedback. *Compliment*
I appreciate your thoughts and you have certainly opened my eyes to new things.
I don't know when I'll put another story together, I do have situations I'd like to share.
Thank you Gingerbug for your interest in reading my tale and being so kind.
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+5
3 years ago (2021-06-30)
CrimsonTopaz,

After our peculiar first encounter:), I was curious to read your experiences.

I truly enjoyed the account of your father and such stories give me hope, truly, of really strong families with great values holding together in life and after this life.

I think that your youth must have not been altogether that easy (responsibility over the family affairs and siblings and even respect for one's highly ethical parents can put some strain on a person that others might never get to... Enjoy) but that is the most meaningful hardship that, I see, is appreciated with maturity.

Your life has always been meaningful and that is more than many people can claim who stray about looking for their values and roles.

From the spiritual perspective, have you considered that the afterlife is also a place of transformation and changing 'rules'?

On one hand, it could be that your father is simply losing his physical attachments to this world and thereby, he is not capable of manifesting himself in the former manner.

From what I have read in varied literature, our afterlife presence can be related to our physical body and its gradual dissipation (which is why some cultures, such as ancient Egyptians, seek to preserve the bodies of those who are somehow important representatives to their values or embodiment of a whole race etc.).

Also, your father's presence might have diminished after your older brother passed over because that is another 'physical anchor' gone.

Yet your father seeks to keep himself around you in the ways still accessible to him.

Maybe, as you mature and you seem to contemplate more of your father's psychological and physical dispositions, you become tuned into his presence in ways that are rather more emotional or intellectual.

Just like, as little children, we early on rely on our parents' physical presence (e.g. Varied hugs, getting picked up and carried), later on we form more understanding of who our parents are as psychological and intellectual and spiritual beings (which is also a presence but it is manifested through other channels).

I don't know if you are the eldest of your father's children, presently, but maybe you are more similar to your father emotionally rather than physically and hereby, when your father was using your elder, deceased brother's physical medium, he is now using yours which has more to do with feelings. And that, once more, you have a meaningful role in alleviating your father's efforts to stay around as his physical attachment to our world is fading and it might take greater toll to manifest himself in it as sights and sounds etc.

The third thing that I wanted to suggest was that perhaps when we die, we still keep evolving.

So if your father worked very hard, it can happen that he did not have the time resource to establish these bonds of emotional affection.

And now that he has 'rested', maybe he is developing what he could not achieve in his earthly life with you.

I do not mean to say that he had no feeling or affection while here - I mean to say that maybe he had not the time and capacity (and belonged with a different generation) to become aware of what he felt for you.

And this change in his presence might, coincidentally, arise out of the fact that your father is becoming more aware of his love for you and your love for him.

And it probably helps that you are thinking about him and you are proud of him and you are talking about him - you are creating this new level of coexistence (which belongs with love and recollection and imagination that fuels our understanding of one another).

That you are creating this 'realm' where you can be together irrespective of your states of 'living' or 'dead'.

Taken that your father is an extremely caring patriarch, he might also be attempting to create this space for the sake of your mother who, in her consciousness, as far as I understand, is straying from the worldly matters.

Maybe he is creating a space interhabitat for her, as well. If her mind wanders, it can wander thereabouts more securely.

Those are my thoughts:)

Appreciated the story. You should write more. I wish unto you some benevolent, benign and cheery spirit that haunts you into another tale;) :P
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+2
3 years ago (2021-05-22)
Australian Daz,
That's a really interesting way of explaining why I feel the presence and not see spirits these days.
I have you on my list of authors from Australia. I will endeavour to read as many situations as I can.
I've been caught up reading members encounters and the many replies.
Thank you for your feed back.
(I'm also having fun giving members points ⬆️ now that I am a member)
aussiedaz (19 stories) (1565 posts)
+4
3 years ago (2021-05-21)
CrimsonTopaz,

I was fortunate enough to see and talk to both of my parents after they'd crossed over my father was 1 of 15 children on he's side. I do remember my grandmother explaining how she'd organised the rank and file as like the same way you'd described in your account, big families here in Aus were once the norm unlike to day where three is a crowd, anyway, to answer your question via my own theory as to why your sister see he's shadow and you can only feel his presence?

We are spiritual beings having a physical experience inside a sub set (Matrix) to some other greater reality... Spiritual realm,heaven, Paradise or what ever floats your boat. I do suspect we enter the earth matrix with a certain level of spiritual energy probably be design? However with in the duality we are always constant as such like the laws of energy in both realms most likely on idle in the spiritual realm as we entertain the experience of being in human form.

By turning up the third eye (pineal gland with this flow of energy) we have a balance of people with limited psychic ability those who can't see blank. You were able to feel him, your sister was able to see his shadow and others have the ability to actual communicate in full transcript between the two realities.

Regards Daz
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (239 posts)
+3
3 years ago (2021-05-11)
Rex,
Arrrh yes, good old Australian sayings. 'You got to love 'em'.
(I don't hear, "throw another shrimp on the Barbi" much either). I don't live under a rock, but half the time I think all these Australian phrases are commercial.
Nothing wrong with being sceptical. If you don't see what others are seeing or sensing, it would make you a bit suspicious, no doubt.

My favourite Australian saying is one that Al uses on Home and Away, 'Flaming galah'. Lol
Rex-T (5 stories) (288 posts)
+3
3 years ago (2021-05-11)
Crimson,

To answer your question, while I vaguely remember talking to passed relatives, these are just your average dreams. You probably know the ones I'm talking about - where all the details are lost in the morning haze.

I've had a couple of "experiences of consequence" where I have felt somebody looking after me, but only hints of their identity.

I suppose that you could say that spiritually, I'm as blind as a bat and deaf as a post. Fortunately, Jubeele has been patiently enlightening me to be more attentive and less sceptical.

I do believe that we are all individuals and although our experiences may have similarities, at the end of the day they are our own and the difference is our individuality.

On another note, lady-glow's reference to "beyond the veil" is quite interesting. While I haven't heard this term either, it bears similarities to another aussieism, which is "beyond the pale" used to describe a behaviour which is outside the norm.

Aunty Google (and her array of dictionaries) refers to "pale" as a wooden stake, which is used in building a fence. I don't think it is a huge stretch to assume that the two phrases are related. Afterall, they both refer to behaviours or events that are perceived to occur outside our own boundaries of "normality".

Anyway, be careful, stay safe and wear a mask. 😉

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