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I Miss My Father Dearly:

 

As a child from a huge family, being one of the eldest had many advantages and many disadvantages.

The advantages were staying out with friends later, being able to go out with friends to concerts, shows, and movies. (We couldn't afford that though).

The disadvantages were having to take our younger siblings with us and bring them home early, help with chores around the home, and being encouraged to get a job after school and weekends in our teen years.

The money we earned, was ours, but we'd help our parents by giving them a small amount. My father was proud and never put his hand out for anything, not even money for bread. He worked so hard from early hours until late, and when he got home he was really tired and hungry. Before eating, he would always say, 'have the children had enough to eat'? (That's the sort of father he was. Always putting my mother and all of us first, all 9 of us.) My mother always fed us early, made sure we did our homework and by the time my father got home we'd be ready to sleep.

My mother is old now and often ill. Various things burden her health constantly. I visit her from time to time and usually stay for a few days a time and help her by cooking and freezing meals and doing what I can. My other siblings do the same. They go and clean weekly and help where they can.

My parents were childhood sweethearts and after my dad died my mother never remarried or went on dates with men.

Up until this day my father is seen or his presence is felt in our family home, where they lived for over 40 odd years. I must add, since my eldest brother died, my father isn't seen or felt around the home as much.

There were no previous owners. My parents lived there from the time the house was built. There's no cemeteries or burial grounds near the home. The spirit can only be that of my father. The feeling I get is a comforting, homey feeling like he's watching over my mother and the rest of us.

Sometimes when I cook at my mother's place, I feel my father around me. My mother doesn't pick up on his presence these days. She can barely remember when we call her and we all call her daily.

I'm a lot older than my younger sister who is also a member on this site. Nearly 11 years older. She is one of the youngest and in her mid 50s, I'm one of the eldest and in my mid 60s. When my younger sister visits my mother she sees my father's shadow up and down the corridor near my mother's room.

What I don't understand, is why my sister sees my father's shadow, and I feel him around like a comforting, homey feeling. I have seen my father's spirit in the past. But these days I feel his presence.

Does anyone else have these feelings replacing sightings of spirits?

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, CrimsonTopaz, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Cherubim (14 stories) (245 posts)
+1
2 weeks ago (2021-09-10)
Your story really tugged on my heart strings. ❤ It's wonderful that you came from a loving family. We all have different learning styles, maybe it's that way in the spirit world too, they come to us the way we'd understand best. My brother and sister died young, I was close to both of them. My brother comes to me in dreams often, but I've never had a dream of my sister or felt her presence. I often wonder why I never dream of her like I do so many other family members that have died? Life and death sure are a mystery!
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+2
3 months ago (2021-07-02)
CrimsonTopaz, I also wanted to apologize (briefly) because, for some reason, I thought you were male. ('Topaz' in my language is a masculine noun.) Sorry if I made confusing statements ❤
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+4
3 months ago (2021-07-02)
Sleeping-with-steve,

I am sorry, I will try to do better by the guidelines.
Sleeping-with-steve (8 stories) (529 posts)
+3
3 months ago (2021-07-02)
Hello GingerBug,

Thank you for sincere comments on our dad. (CrimsonTopaz is my sister).

On 'Your ghost stories.com', they like you to comment on the post you are replying to and try not to sway into other stories or talk on a thread that isn't related. (Please don't be offended. I'm just letting you know before you get pulled up on it.)

You can email members who have their email details on their profiles to discuss matters that may be personal or simply have a chat.

I've read your comments and I agree with my sister, you do write very well and have obviously got many memories to share.

Best wishes,
😘
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+7
3 months ago (2021-07-02)
CrimsonTopaz,

Thank you for your kind words. They are actually really appreciated.

My great grandpa actually totally spoiled me. I was not asked to help around with anything at all and if I wanted, I could spend all day long reading books in the 'orange-curtain room'.

While my aunt (aged 17 at the time) was chased out to do her weeding.

But I helped anyway.

The reason why I have such developed opinions on weird stuff is actually also related to the father issues.

My great grandfather was a really good role model but he was old and I guess there were some things I could not learn in that relationship. That it's different somehow.

And when I was about 6 - 7, I started sneak-watching 'The X-Files' and I sort of 'adopted' special agent Fox Mulder as my 'spiritual' father:)

I tried to be like him and I really admired him (as well as agent Scully) and I learned to combine intuition, knowledge in science and folklore / mythology with simply sound judgement and knowing the human character.

It stayed with me all through these years and I was quite entertained to read in last week's National Geographics that the US military has released an official report on UAPs (Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon) which is the new term for UFOs. 143 cases out of 144 - unexplained muhahahahaha... 1 out of 144 = deflated air balloon 😁

Personally, I think those are not aliens but what we have been calling fairies.

There are ancient texts and pictures from over than 6000 years ago indicating that aliens might have visited us in spaceships.

If they were flying 'saucers' back then, I believe they must have advanced far beyond such technology, perhaps, having developed methods of teleportation etc.

Because that is more sustainable and resource-effective. Why would aliens keep using 'outdated' crafts that they had 6000 years ago?

I think those are terrestrial technologies observed by the military, just not human-made.

I came to these thoughts after reading 'Artemis Fowl' and massive amounts of different culture fairy stories.

And this is how I roll:D
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+2
3 months ago (2021-07-01)
Gingerbug,
Your great grandfather obviously did a great job raising you because you turned out to be the person you are today. I might not know you, however, I do sense a genuine, caring, kind, and not to mention a clever individual who writes really well.
Stay well and happy my friend.
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+3
3 months ago (2021-07-01)
It was very meaningful and touching to me.

To be honest, I never had a proper father (I had a really awesome greatgrandfather though and another cool grandpa who, unfortunately, lived quite far away).

And reading about such father figure and trying to 'trace' their motivations and realizing that they might be even after death trying to find new ways to be with their loved ones and to create safety for them - briefly speaking, it was a delightful morning I spent thinking of it:)

So thank you for sharing your experience.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+2
3 months ago (2021-07-01)
Gingerbug,
What a lovely reply and once again so detailed and full of interesting feedback. *Compliment*
I appreciate your thoughts and you have certainly opened my eyes to new things.
I don't know when I'll put another story together, I do have situations I'd like to share.
Thank you Gingerbug for your interest in reading my tale and being so kind.
gingerbug (5 stories) (15 posts)
+4
3 months ago (2021-06-30)
CrimsonTopaz,

After our peculiar first encounter:), I was curious to read your experiences.

I truly enjoyed the account of your father and such stories give me hope, truly, of really strong families with great values holding together in life and after this life.

I think that your youth must have not been altogether that easy (responsibility over the family affairs and siblings and even respect for one's highly ethical parents can put some strain on a person that others might never get to... Enjoy) but that is the most meaningful hardship that, I see, is appreciated with maturity.

Your life has always been meaningful and that is more than many people can claim who stray about looking for their values and roles.

From the spiritual perspective, have you considered that the afterlife is also a place of transformation and changing 'rules'?

On one hand, it could be that your father is simply losing his physical attachments to this world and thereby, he is not capable of manifesting himself in the former manner.

From what I have read in varied literature, our afterlife presence can be related to our physical body and its gradual dissipation (which is why some cultures, such as ancient Egyptians, seek to preserve the bodies of those who are somehow important representatives to their values or embodiment of a whole race etc.).

Also, your father's presence might have diminished after your older brother passed over because that is another 'physical anchor' gone.

Yet your father seeks to keep himself around you in the ways still accessible to him.

Maybe, as you mature and you seem to contemplate more of your father's psychological and physical dispositions, you become tuned into his presence in ways that are rather more emotional or intellectual.

Just like, as little children, we early on rely on our parents' physical presence (e.g. Varied hugs, getting picked up and carried), later on we form more understanding of who our parents are as psychological and intellectual and spiritual beings (which is also a presence but it is manifested through other channels).

I don't know if you are the eldest of your father's children, presently, but maybe you are more similar to your father emotionally rather than physically and hereby, when your father was using your elder, deceased brother's physical medium, he is now using yours which has more to do with feelings. And that, once more, you have a meaningful role in alleviating your father's efforts to stay around as his physical attachment to our world is fading and it might take greater toll to manifest himself in it as sights and sounds etc.

The third thing that I wanted to suggest was that perhaps when we die, we still keep evolving.

So if your father worked very hard, it can happen that he did not have the time resource to establish these bonds of emotional affection.

And now that he has 'rested', maybe he is developing what he could not achieve in his earthly life with you.

I do not mean to say that he had no feeling or affection while here - I mean to say that maybe he had not the time and capacity (and belonged with a different generation) to become aware of what he felt for you.

And this change in his presence might, coincidentally, arise out of the fact that your father is becoming more aware of his love for you and your love for him.

And it probably helps that you are thinking about him and you are proud of him and you are talking about him - you are creating this new level of coexistence (which belongs with love and recollection and imagination that fuels our understanding of one another).

That you are creating this 'realm' where you can be together irrespective of your states of 'living' or 'dead'.

Taken that your father is an extremely caring patriarch, he might also be attempting to create this space for the sake of your mother who, in her consciousness, as far as I understand, is straying from the worldly matters.

Maybe he is creating a space interhabitat for her, as well. If her mind wanders, it can wander thereabouts more securely.

Those are my thoughts:)

Appreciated the story. You should write more. I wish unto you some benevolent, benign and cheery spirit that haunts you into another tale;) :P
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+3
4 months ago (2021-05-22)
Australian Daz,
That's a really interesting way of explaining why I feel the presence and not see spirits these days.
I have you on my list of authors from Australia. I will endeavour to read as many situations as I can.
I've been caught up reading members encounters and the many replies.
Thank you for your feed back.
(I'm also having fun giving members points ⬆️ now that I am a member)
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1518 posts)
+4
4 months ago (2021-05-21)
CrimsonTopaz,

I was fortunate enough to see and talk to both of my parents after they'd crossed over my father was 1 of 15 children on he's side. I do remember my grandmother explaining how she'd organised the rank and file as like the same way you'd described in your account, big families here in Aus were once the norm unlike to day where three is a crowd, anyway, to answer your question via my own theory as to why your sister see he's shadow and you can only feel his presence?

We are spiritual beings having a physical experience inside a sub set (Matrix) to some other greater reality... Spiritual realm,heaven, Paradise or what ever floats your boat. I do suspect we enter the earth matrix with a certain level of spiritual energy probably be design? However with in the duality we are always constant as such like the laws of energy in both realms most likely on idle in the spiritual realm as we entertain the experience of being in human form.

By turning up the third eye (pineal gland with this flow of energy) we have a balance of people with limited psychic ability those who can't see blank. You were able to feel him, your sister was able to see his shadow and others have the ability to actual communicate in full transcript between the two realities.

Regards Daz
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+3
4 months ago (2021-05-11)
Rex,
Arrrh yes, good old Australian sayings. 'You got to love 'em'.
(I don't hear, "throw another shrimp on the Barbi" much either). I don't live under a rock, but half the time I think all these Australian phrases are commercial.
Nothing wrong with being sceptical. If you don't see what others are seeing or sensing, it would make you a bit suspicious, no doubt.

My favourite Australian saying is one that Al uses on Home and Away, 'Flaming galah'. Lol
Rex-T (5 stories) (285 posts)
+4
4 months ago (2021-05-11)
Crimson,

To answer your question, while I vaguely remember talking to passed relatives, these are just your average dreams. You probably know the ones I'm talking about - where all the details are lost in the morning haze.

I've had a couple of "experiences of consequence" where I have felt somebody looking after me, but only hints of their identity.

I suppose that you could say that spiritually, I'm as blind as a bat and deaf as a post. Fortunately, Jubeele has been patiently enlightening me to be more attentive and less sceptical.

I do believe that we are all individuals and although our experiences may have similarities, at the end of the day they are our own and the difference is our individuality.

On another note, lady-glow's reference to "beyond the veil" is quite interesting. While I haven't heard this term either, it bears similarities to another aussieism, which is "beyond the pale" used to describe a behaviour which is outside the norm.

Aunty Google (and her array of dictionaries) refers to "pale" as a wooden stake, which is used in building a fence. I don't think it is a huge stretch to assume that the two phrases are related. Afterall, they both refer to behaviours or events that are perceived to occur outside our own boundaries of "normality".

Anyway, be careful, stay safe and wear a mask. 😉
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+4
5 months ago (2021-05-10)
Jubilee,
Thank you for your thoughtful message.
I'm so sorry to hear you lost your father too.
It seems to be quite common that spirits appear at doorways. Mia has some tales to tell how she also saw our uncle at her bedroom door when she was young. My mother and father got a call from England the next day saying my father's brother died. It's too much of a coincidence that Mia saw him. He must have visited to tell her something. She was in shock and told mum when she finally unfroze and slept in my parents bed that night.
I think you have some fantastic explanations why my sister and I experience visits differently.
Does your husband have visits in his dreams too?
I think dreams are very powerful. Sometimes I think our loved ones communicate through them, other times I think they are memories, and sometimes it's a way for our thoughts to bring matters to the surface that need attention. I'm far from an expert on dream interpretations, so I'll leave that for the experts.
Jubeele (24 stories) (873 posts)
+6
5 months ago (2021-05-10)
Hi CrimsonTopaz

I'm sorry for your loss and I feel the love you have for your family. It's great that your sister and yourself are here together on YGS to share your experiences.

I wonder if your father had been initially waiting for your eldest brother, so as to guide him on his way? Maybe that's why, after your brother's passing, he doesn't seem to be as around as often now. But the "comforting, homey feeling like he's watching" shows that he still comes by to check on all of you.

Soon after my father died, I saw him at the bedroom door. As if he was there in person. My husband Rex and I were sleeping in my parents' room at the time. I sensed that he had come for a last look round, to say goodbye to us. Since then, I've seen him in my dreams, mostly memory dreams, but occasionally a vague feeling to be careful. He's warned me before when I fell off a horse, his voice in my head to: "Move!" Saving me from being kicked by the horse. It's taken me a while to realise that was probably him.

Perhaps on some level, you only sense your father's presence because you no longer need the reassurance of 'seeing' him? Or it could be the nature of your gifts - you're stronger at sensing things and your sister's ability is to be able see shadows? Or it could be the different levels of energy that we emanate. Like we're walking power sources for spirits, who 'borrow' our emotional energy to manifest in some form or other. The more energy generated, the more tangible the form. Positive energy begets positive spirits, and the same with negative energy.

Just a few of my theories, anyway. Some food for thought. Be well and take care.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+3
5 months ago (2021-05-07)
Sophie,
Thank you for your message.
My father was a good man, husband, father, and pa. It is good knowing love never dies.
Softie_thunder_thighs (11 posts)
+1
5 months ago (2021-05-07)
Oh, this is such a lovely story... It made me cry.
Love never ends. ❤ ❤
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+3
5 months ago (2021-04-29)
Ladyglow,
I haven't heard those sayings before, but that's not to say they aren't used in Australia by the clever paranormal groups.
I looked on the internet, but only got some crazy horror drama called 'the veil', which frightened me as soon as the image appeared on my screen. 😨
I understand now, thank you.
lady-glow (13 stories) (2839 posts)
+3
5 months ago (2021-04-29)
Hi CT.

The veil is a way to call the division between our physical world and the mysterious one inhabited by spirits.

Have you heard the expression "beyond the veil" or "the other side of the veil"?
Perhaps this phrase is not used in Australia, I never heard it when living in Mexico.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+2
5 months ago (2021-04-29)
Ladyglow,
Thank you for your welcome.
We used to be closer when we were younger, not so much now, because everyone is busy with their own families, but we always try to make time for each other, especially for our mother.
What do you mean when you say, 'the veil" is not an obstacle to keep its members apart.' (I don't understand what that means. I'm a bit of a goose when it comes to sayings) 🤔
My father is definitely looking after our mother. He hasn't left her side. Your 100% right.
lady-glow (13 stories) (2839 posts)
+4
5 months ago (2021-04-29)
Welcome to YGS.

Hi Crimson.

This is such a heartwarming story. It seems like yours is a very close-knit family and "the veil" is not an obstacle to keep its members apart.
I'm sure your father enjoys his family's company and is looking after you.

Thanks for sharing.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+2
5 months ago (2021-04-28)
Rajine,
You definitely are a good person wanting to help others. I'm sure people appreciate your help. I certainly do my friend.
🤗
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+2
5 months ago (2021-04-28)
MackNorton,
I've been going through some Australian members profiles and I've added a few including yours. I will start reading some encounters little by little. There's so much on this site that I thought by starting with Australia, I might be able to relate to the places members write about. (No prejudice intended)
Dreams fascinate me. I could discuss that with you for hours, and still want to know more of what you have to share. I do have a dream/spirit encounter that both my sister and I had the same time. She would have been 10 years old or so and I would have been 21 years old. I married at 19 and she had a stay over at my house. This dream still haunts me up until today. (I will submit that situation when I can)
I believe what you 100% when you say if the bond is strong we will reunite on the other side.
(I'm not ready to go yet though) 😕
Macknorton (5 stories) (646 posts)
+6
5 months ago (2021-04-28)
Hi CrimsonTopaz

Thanks for sharing. Personally, I've feel I've made contact with "deceased" loved ones in my sleep state, through encounters which I can't put down to being just ordinary dreams due to their vividness and the intensity of them, and how these encounters have stayed with me for decades.

I guess everybody has their own individual and unique experiences of sensing departed loved ones, for example it's very common and well documented that the appearance of certain fragrances associated with that person can signal that they are always close to you, bound by an eternal love for you.

I say this to you; rest assured that if the bond of love between two souls is real then you will be reunited on the side because love is the most powerful force that permeates this infinite Universe.

Peace,

Mack
Rajine (14 stories) (266 posts)
+4
5 months ago (2021-04-27)
Hi CrimsonTopaz

No I don't own this site lol, I just find it really insightful and informative also being able to interact with different people from all over the world and get their insight and advice really helped me as I hope it does for you, and if my insight helps others then I know that I've done something good,

The insomnia is not going to get sorted anytime soon but I've learned to manage.
CrimsonTopaz (1 stories) (41 posts)
+1
5 months ago (2021-04-27)
Rajine my friend,
I hope you are sleeping better.
You own this site. Your replies and situations saturate these threads. Members are fortunate to have such a helpful person like you participating.
Im sorry for your loss of your father my friend. 12 is such a young age to lose a parent, or anyone. No matter our age the void is great.
I was told once, 'we ache because we care, we miss them because they made a difference, and never forget, always cherish the joy they brought into our lives'.
Rajine you're very kind to reply and what you say makes sense. Our departed loved one's visit in a way that is comforting to us.
Rajine (14 stories) (266 posts)
+4
5 months ago (2021-04-27)
Hi CrimsonTopaz

A really touching story, especially for me as I lost my dad when I was 12, no matter how old we get losing someone, that empty feeling never goes away, but we just learn how to move forward, I believe that spirits of our loved ones are always around watching and guiding us with an unseen hand, I also feel that they will present themselves to us in a way that is comforting, each experience will differ with each person, like you feel his presence whilst your sister sees his shadow, but he's there.

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