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A Message For My Friend


I'm not sure what to make of this, so please tell me what you think...

When I was 14, my best friend's (let's call her Tasha) boyfriend died 24 hours after he had been in a car accident. About four or five months before he died, we were at some school event where Tasha's boyfriend had to wear a tux, but he swore to us that we would never see him in a tux again- he hated it!

Anyway, the night after his funeral, I dreamt that I was with some of Jaco's friends on the porch of the place we all used to hang out, but Tasha wasn't there. Jaco's friends were sitting in a group, chatting and making jokes while I sat a few feet away from them, texting my friends. Now, I was the only one between Jaco's friends (I didn't even like them!) and my friends were all at their homes, and the place we were at was closed (it was night time).

As I was busy on my phone, I thought I saw someone else walking through the gate, so I looked up and saw Jaco coming up to me. He had the tux on he said he'd never wear again! None of the other guys took notice of him, it was like they didn't care that he was there. My heart jumped when I saw him, and all I could get out was: "Jaco, you're not supposed to be here..." So he just smiled and said: "Please, tell Tash I love her and I'm waiting for her" I just said okay, and as he turned away, I woke up.

At first I didn't know what to do, I was afraid that I would upset Tasha if I told her. When I saw her at school two days later, she could see that something was wrong. She insisted that I tell her, so I just said: "Tash, Jaco asked me to tell you that he loves you and he's waiting for you." She did start crying, but she was happy to hear it.

So, what I need to know is: was it just a dream and did I make too much out of it? Or did he really come to me in a dream to give my friend the message?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, _Izanne_, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

KLIPPIE (1 posts)
9 years ago (2014-10-21)
I don't quite know what to make of my own dreams sometimes, I once had a dream about a little girl I had never seen in my life, and when I told my mom about her, my mom knew exactly what she looked like, down do her eye and hair color, even the clothes she wore. At first I though my mom was just being funny but I realized she had no way of knowing if she didn't see this girl herself once before. My mom could see them too, so it was really weird. She also had dreams or visitations from her Grandmother, her grandmother used to tell her who will pass away, usually a week or so before it happens. She was never wrong - my mom couldn't cope with it because it was all concerning people she knew and cared about, so my father prayed for her and ever since, she has not had a "visit" from her grandmother again. So yeah, I guess it is completely possible that this can indeed happen - I am still trying to figure it out myself, I think some things are just too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence.
anneke8 (10 stories) (274 posts)
12 years ago (2011-11-30)
This was not a dream, it was a vision you had.
He realy communicated to you through your dream.
Same stuff happened to me too.
spicethyme (1 posts)
14 years ago (2010-04-09)
I believe that when people pass over to the other side they can communicate with us through dreams.
Ghostgirl007007 (3 posts)
14 years ago (2010-01-14)
Hey I can totally relate to that. And honestly think you're friend's BoyFriend came 2 you in a dream. So if you're crazy then we all are! 😊 😁 ❤
vulcan10 (5 stories) (332 posts)
14 years ago (2009-09-19)
Considering it was so close to the actual event it was probably a dream. I don't know since I'm not dead, but it seems like after death we would realize the futility humans place on "time". He would have to know that given a chance to live a moderately long life his former girlfriend (and at that age it was more like puppylove) would go on to fall in love many times and in our day and age marry more than once. I remember my first love, whether it was "pup" or not, but it's more of a passing thought now since much more has happened since then.
Thedreamer (1 stories) (34 posts)
15 years ago (2009-06-10)
To me I think he really came to you to tell her that he loves her. I think that your friend really needed that:-)

❤ Selinda ❤
Gun_Gun_Trio (1 stories) (11 posts)
15 years ago (2009-03-28)
Whether that was a dream or not, no one can really say. But the fact that you were able to help your friend even if just a little is still a great thing.
snowflake (5 stories) (61 posts)
15 years ago (2009-03-19)
Tonith,if spirits contact us through dreams, then why did I have a dream with my exboyfriend in it, when he's alive and well? (I'm just curious as to know why, not to start an argument) As for Izanne, this is a good story, and sorry to hear of your friends lost. I had a similiar expierence, except I wasn't asleep,lol. I'll post it as soon as the site will allow postings.
DPez (5 stories) (37 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-19)
This was a wonderfully written story, quite beautiful (if I might add).
I personally believe he was delivering a message to you to give to your friend. I thinks dreams, not all dreams though (I'm not someone who tries to decipher the meaning of why I dreamed about climbing a mountain to dig up a boy of crayons) have meaning, especially when we see our loved ones in them.
I'm glad to hear that tasha is doing wel after the tragic addicent.

Regarding your comment: perhaps the breaking glass was a warning or prelude to what Jaco was about to experience, although it's possible that it's somethign else entirely. I'm no expert on these matters 😜
tricia889 (4 stories) (23 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-19)
I personally think it's a crossover instance, but if it is that or a wonderful dream the result is the same, it brings closure and peace, so hurray for that! 😊 ❤
troyarn (5 stories) (479 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-19)
I believe this dream is more than the average one everyone has. Why he chose the tux he hated so much to show himself to you I don't know. The reason the others didn't see him might be because he was directing himself totally to you in this dream.

Regardless, I believe it was a sign and think it was a nice thing for him to comfort your friend.
_Izanne_ (4 stories) (27 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-19)
hey guys! Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate it.
Tasha is doing very well now, it's been about seven years now since Jaco died. She still talks about him now and then, we both believe that if he was still alive, they would've been married by now!
I've also heard that Tasha's aunt saw Jaco one night in Tasha's mom's car. She never knew Jaco, but somehow she knew it was him.

I just thought about something! A while before he died, we spent the weekend at Jaco's house (he lived on a farm). We were all in the kitchen- including his parents- when we heard glass breaking in the living room. All of us heard it, and when we went there to check, nothing was broken. We were a bit freaked out, but it didn't bother us much... 😊
hazzardsyndrome (10 stories) (121 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-18)
the beauty of this story is that nobody can possibly doubt you on it. If you believe it, then you believe it and its a good thing because it hopefully bought comfort to your friend.
Personally I believe it is him saying goodbye, there's far to much in this life that we don't understand so perhaps its better to have some faith in the unknown now and again 😊
Thanks for sharing
Take care
Tonith (1136 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-18)
It seems dreams are the easiest way for spirits to contact us. Guess our guard is down and our minds opened. I think you got a message. I hope it helped your friend. I hope she is getting on with her life.
Kayla1996 (6 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-18)
dude this is tottally real I had this once befor to the spirts come to you in your dream to cantact you believe me ❤
ghostboy001 (4 stories) (137 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-18)
look this could be real or it could be fake souss it problaly isn't the devils partner
But I think its real because I have reccently had my grandpa come to me in my dream and long ago when he died he came to me and said don't worry about me I'm fine and of I walted to talk but he said he could not that mornig I woke up very happy.
hobbyholly (11 stories) (572 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-18)
::sigh:: Izanne, pardon me for a moment.

With all do respect souss, I'm curious why your comments all involve "partner of the devil" or a "careen". I don't want to start some sort of argument on here, but it is getting annoying. It seems to be your explanation for EVERYTHING. If you truly believe your comments are valid, then fine.

To me this was a touching story about a lost ones message. Treasureseekers makes some valid points. I highly doubt Izanne believes this was the "Real" Jaco. Just as I know in my dreams it isn't my "Real" grandfather.
souss (8 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-18)
no is not a dream, it is real, it is the partner devil of "Jaco,everybody have a partner of one devil, he is you careen, for the rest of you life, and the careen of "Jaco
Is comes to you and say:say to tacha I love you, 😆 that is the devil who says say to tacha I love you, so the devil partner of Jaco act like Jaco, but it is not Jaco 😭 it is sad I know
treasureseekers (2 stories) (28 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-18)
There are quite a few theories as to why we dream.

On the scientific side, we dream in order to process what we have learnt that day, or in the last few days.

Another theory is that we dream because we are seeking answers to something that's on our mind as we drift off to sleep.

Yet another theory, is that the dream world is the area that's on the cusp of the living & the dead, where both can freely intermingle & talk to one another.

I am sure that there are other theories, but can't remember them at this present moment.

Personally, I like all three that I just posted. To me they all make sense in one way or another.

In the end, you will have to decide for yourself, based on what you think the dream was about.

Regardless, I have to agree with Hobby in his last paragraph. You did the right thing by telling your best friend about the dream, & the message you got from it. I think everyone would appreciate being told.
hobbyholly (11 stories) (572 posts)
15 years ago (2009-02-18)
The logical response is "just a dream".

But: I have dreams about my deceased grandparents now and then. I take it as their way of visiting me. I try not to over think it.

What you encountered truly touched you and your friend. I would take it for what it is. In the dream he wanted her to know she was still loved. You did the right thing by telling her and hopefully brought her some comfort.

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