I am actually a bit ashamed of myself here. I came here for help originally when I didn't know where else to turn and you people helped me find it. Now it's been so long and I haven't posted any updates on what has been happening.
I've tried coming back a few times, especially shortly after the last time I posted but I seem to have bad luck, any time I think to check in on this site and let people know what is going on they aren't accepting any new submissions. I have a lot to tell at this point.
Shortly after the last time I posted I had that "medium" come in to take a look around, I was really hopeful that he was going to be the solution, but as it turned out he was a hoax. None of what he had to say matched the situation, he said the child ghost was a boy not a girl, and he seemed to find some significance in the kitchen, which has not in my experience been involved in any of the activity in the house.
After this debacle I continued trying to contact the first medium, the one who said he couldn't help once he heard the address, eventually I got him to agree to talk to me, and I even managed to convince him to come back.
Yes, apparently he had been to my home before, when a previous tenant had lived there. When the first thing he mentioned was the staircase I knew we were on the right track. Turns out when he had been there before he had been struck and nearly thrown down the staircase by what I call "the brute" He said he does believe the brute is a residual spirit but it interacted with him because at the time he was trying to attune himself to the little girl.
He described a lot of detail of what was going on, the girl, her hair, her dress even the manner of her death. As for the brute he could tell that he came up the stairs and was trying to get into the room which is now my office and once he did manage to get in there was violence, sudden and brutal violence. And best of all he gave me a starting point for my research, a name of the little girl.
With the name I was able to get her date of death and view her obit in the library newspaper archives. She was survived by both her parents and as I had initially thought she died in the late 40's.
I also did a little research on her parents and found the source of the brute and the crying woman. Apparently the man of the house was a pretty mean fellow when he was drunk and on the particular night in question (over a year after their daughter took her plunge down the stairs) his wife took refuge in their bedroom, which I guess is now my office, and when he battered the door open she gave him one barrel from his own shotgun, and saved the other barrel for herself.
The medium is willing to come back and try a séance to see if we can actually talk to the girl since she hasn't really appeared to me since that first time, but the charges are a bit expensive. I intend to have him in soon and will tell you what happens ASAP. It's almost strange how after living in a house with something like this you almost get used to it, but since the brute is just a residual, an echo I may end up leaving that if it ends up being costly to have him exorcised, but I want to see if we can help her move on.
Also my initial concern over the change in my son's hair color (I think at that point I was focusing on something minor and insignificant to distract myself from how scared I was) was just a summer thing, by fall his hair had darkened again.