I was shocked what the friend of the family told me. There was no way I would call him names or what so ever. I asked him what time it happened. He told me it was after midnight. He was walking alone to his car and saw me coming. He told me I was cursing at him while walking. He said I was wearing a black jacket and dark pants. My hair was straight. My hair is curly, but I do straight it a lot. He looked at me in shock and asked why I was cursing. He wanted to walk over to me when another cop came to him. He said he wanted to come to my house a couple days later to talk.
That night, I was just at home. That's also what I told the family friend. I told him that he must have made a mistake and that it was perhaps a drunk girl that looked like me. He said that he was sure it was me but that we should just forget it.
But to be honest, I couldn't. I have been fighting with a sleeping disorder since I can remember. But during that time, it was getting worse. I would have nightmares about me getting in a car accident when I would be 17 and die. I got so scared that I just did not want to sleep anymore.
A couple weeks later, I would get really scared in my house. A lot of times, I would sit downstairs and sing. My mom would go upstairs doing the laundry or whatever. I was never scared before and I loved to be alone. But one day I really felt being watched. I shrugged the feeling off and poured myself a drink. Then, I sat on the couch. I don't know why, but a voice in my head said: look at the TV. I thought, the TV is off, why the hell would I look at the TV? I did as I was "told" and I gasped. I saw a "shadow" that had a silhouette of a man. His hand lay on my shoulder. I wanted to scream but I was in shock. I immediately stood up and turned around. Nothing, just my own reflection in the big mirror behind the couch.
I told myself to breathe slowly and to calm down. I called my mom and she came downstairs. I told her what happened and she told me that it was okay, that it was maybe a ghost who is watching me. I thought that was possible because the hand on my shoulder is a sort of: everything will be ok gesture. I just told myself it could maybe be my father so I wouldn't be scared. I ignored the fact it looked like a "shadow" but the thought really helped. My dad passed away when I was two. I don't know why, but this incident was really hard for me to forget and I still remember this like it was yesterday.
The next following weeks, I wanted to see the shadow again and perhaps talk to it. I am really afraid of ghosts and stuff, so this was really difficult for me. I sat on the couch again and waited but nothing happened. Then I stood up and went to push the curtains a little to the left. I actually have no idea why I did that, I just did. I should not have done that. I saw a man, with a rope around his neck. His neck was bleeding; his arms were along his side. He wore black pants, black shoes and a white long sleeved shirt.
I could only see the back of his head, no face. He had dark hair. I screamed. So hard. A couple seconds later I heard a knock on the door: my neighbor. She asked me if I was alright and told me I looked like as if I saw a ghost. I told her I saw a big spider and that's why I screamed. She believed me but I really did not want to be alone so asked if she could stay with me until my mum would come home. She looked worried and said of course.
My mum came an hour later home. When my neighbor left, I told her what really happened. My mum said she was sorry that I had to see that because I have a fear for blood. She said that it was impossible that somebody killed himself in this house because our house is new and only one family had lived here before us. Because I was so scared, the following weeks I would sleep with my mum.
About two months later, I decided to sleep in my own bed. I did not want to be scared in my own house. I went to bed and to my own surprise, I fell asleep fast. Hours later, I wake up. Some sounds woke me up. I heard footsteps next to me. I took a deep breath and looked to my right. Guess who I saw? Me. Or, the other me. She had long medium curly hair, dark eyes and looked pale. I just froze. I decided to talk.
"Are you my doppelganger?"
"Are you a ghost?"
"Who was the man that hung himself?"
Suddenly, she frowned.
She really scared me so I told her: "Please, don't fool people around, don't scare me anymore, please.
She did not look away and still stood there. I asked something that I really wanted to know.
"Am I going to die when I'm seventeen?"
She frowned harder and her lips formed a thin line. She walked to my chair. There were jeans on them; it was the outfit I would wear the next day. She tucked her hair behind her left ear and pointed to the jeans. Suddenly, she wasn't there anymore. I blinked a couple of times, but she was gone. I prayed to God until I fell asleep.
The next morning, I couldn't wait to get out of my house. I checked my phone, I had a new message. A friend texted me: "Couldn't you at least wave?" I didn't understand, so I asked him what he was talking about. He answered: "You just walked across the street, looked at me and kept walking." I wanted to throw up. I had no idea what was happening. This friend was the friend that brought my other friend home when he saw my doppelganger. (Hope you can follow that.) I told him, I was home having breakfast. I read his reply: "No, way. You're kidding, right?"
We met each other at school and my friend was nervous. "That was so weird, I mean, it was you. Your hair was in a ponytail that was the only thing that was a little odd." I never wear my hair in a ponytail, I hate things in my hair and I always wear it down. My friend continued: " Your wore a blue t-shirt and dark jeans. You were walking, I called your name, and you looked at me, looked away and just kept walking." I couldn't explain what happened.
Again, I got really scared and slept together with my mum. It was October and getting colder. It sounds weird, but somehow I always sleep better in the winter than in the summer. One night I would have a nightmare again. I recognized the dream. It was the dream about the car accident when I would be 17 and die. The dream starts when I see a close up of myself with curly hair and a big smile on my face. Then I walk with my friends and one of them says: "Your 17! Are you happy?" Then I see my face getting pale. I try to talk to myself and ask: Helena, what is wrong? What is happening? I did that for the first time talking to myself in my dream. My "dream" me replies: "Well, she looks like me, I guess. I'm 17, I'm young. Its okay, she looks like me. "Then, my friend looks at me and says: "I'm sorry; we just could not save you. The car wasn't alright. It's not an excuse, we know. We're so sorry. You're 17."
In the whole dream, there is just an accent laying on the fact I'm 17, which annoys me. I then asked: Helena, when is this going to happen? Is the doppelganger involved in this? I get no reply so I ask the questions again. Suddenly, I see a close up of the doppelganger (I don't think it's me, the eyes were dark) with scratches on her face and her mouth open. I woke up all in sweat. I tried to breathe slowly and hugged my mum from behind and tried to sleep.
Months pass, no nightmares anymore. Since nothing scary was happening, I was a lot more comfortable in my house now. It's the 26th of February, my 16th birthday. I had a small party with family and friends. It was time for me to blow out the candles. The lights were turned on and everybody started singing. I blow out the candles and suddenly, the lights are turned off. I feel a hand on my own hand and I quickly put my hand on my chest.
I don't know why I did that, normally I would not mind. But it just felt weird, I can't explain. Everybody started making ghost sounds and started laughing. My heart was racing. I was so glad when the lights went on. I look to my left, I look to my right. Whose hand was that? I ask loudly: Who held my hand? Everybody stopped laughing. I asked louder: Please, tell me who held my hand when the lights went off? I looked at my friend, Jeffrey, who was standing close to me. He raised his eyebrows and said he didn't, he swore. I shrugged it off and told myself I was imagining it. Everybody got a little bit worried about me but I did not want to talk about it.
I didn't have any nightmares anymore and I slept in my own room. Things were calming down and I would actually sleep without having nightmares or waking up. One day, in March, I think, I had to go to city with the bus. I would sit next to the window and across from me a nice looking guy smiled at me. I gave him a small smile but didn't really pay attention to him. I kept myself busy with playing games on my phone.
About 10 minutes later, he would clear his throat and I looked at him. "I knew I would see you again." Thinking it was a pick up line, I just smirked and asked: "How many times did you use that one?" The guy lost his smile. "No, I mean, the day before yesterday. You only told me 6 numbers instead of 8." I was not in the mood and told him that he was mistaken me for some one else. "No, I remember faces. But... Your eyes were darker." That's when it hit me. Was it the doppelganger? "What did I tell you that day?" He looked confused. "Well, you said nothing actually. Kind of mysterious. When I asked your number, you gave me only six numbers but I realized that too late." I wanted to ask more but I had to leave the bus. I gave the guy my number and he asked: "It is yours, right? Not a fake one?"
The next weeks were very odd. When I slept in my own room, I would see a shadow at the end of my bed. I would think it was a man with a hat on, I don't know why. When I was eight, my best friend Dave gave me a ring. When we we're 14, we had a big fight and until this day, we haven't talked to each other. I still wear his ring everyday, I never take it off.
I don't know why, but one night I decided to take the ring off. I dreamed a nightmare. I see myself with straight hair sitting in a wooden chair in a long old yellow like dress. I look at my left hand and I don't see my best friend's ring. I ask the dream me: where is Dave's ring? However I get a different reply. "You know, I died too when I was 17. Horrible, a lot of blood. I still have nightmares. Did I tell you I was 17?" At this point I'm really scared but I ask further. "What's your name?" The dream me looks at me very mad." How can you ask my name? I am you. I am 17. There was a lot of blood. Dark red but also light red. I died. I remember I was 17. Did she tell you?" I thought she meant the doppelganger but I got confused so I said: No. The dream me looked away. "That's okay. I was 17. Everybody got worried. I wouldn't like to know when I die. She looks just like you. She did a good job." I wanted to ask something about the doppelganger so I asked: who is she? Did people really see her? " Yes, they saw her. Don't talk to her. There was a lot of blood. I threw up, but you couldn't see it, there was so much blood." I ask something, perhaps a little stupid: am I going to die when I'm 17? "You were only 17. Your mother is going to miss you. The blood was just draining." And then I woke up. My alarm went off.
I told my mum a lot of times of the "17" dreams. My mother believes that dreams do tell us something so she wanted me to be extra careful. I also had a dream that my mum and I were playing with a baby and the baby was playing with a long red necklace. The dream seemed real, and of course, I told my mum about it. In September that year, my mum surprised my whole family. She was pregnant! My grandparents did not like it one bit because they did not like my mother's boyfriend. And for me, I wasn't really into kids and stuff.
A terrible thing happens in my family: my uncle dies of cancer. My uncle was like a father to me. My father passed away when I was 2 and he just felt like a father figure to me. I was getting really depressed and wanted to kill myself. I had the feeling that no one understood me. But somehow, I got everyday better and better. Fast forward to a couple months later, my fear begins: I turn 17. I don't know why, but everything went wrong. I had low grades, my relationship ended badly and I would get into fights with my mum.
I start dreaming again. I see myself getting out of the train. I remember where I am, I know this place like nobody. I'm in Amsterdam. My uncle and aunt live there so I knew I was going to see them. Now I am in a hospital and see my uncle lying in bed. He looks at me and smiles. "Helena!" He shouts and smiles. I remember I loved his smile because it made me happy. "Uncle Peter." I said very quiet. "What time will you come?" He asks. I reply: eleven thirty. I wake up. Scared. I promised myself I would do nothing at 11:30. Never make an appointment; never come home at 11:30.
So, guess what? The next day, I'm preparing to leave and go off to work. I put on my shoes and check the time: 11:30. I decided to wait 5 minutes before I leave my house. I go to the kitchen and drink something and wait. It says 11:35 on my watch, so I leave the house. I cross over the street, everything is fine. As I'm walking, I look at my pants. They are the jeans that were laying on my chair the night the doppelganger came to me. I shrug it off and tuck my hair behind my left ear. I frown, because I remember the doppelganger did that too. I really hate my ears showing, so I fixed my hair back again.
I look at my left hand and I see something is wrong. I'm not wearing my ring. At that point, I am standing in the middle of the road and I hear a car honk at me. I gasp and the car comes closer but does not stop. I hear a voice in my head: stay still, nothing is going to happen. And to my surprise, I just stand there, my mouth is open and I look like I'm going to wet my pants. The car stops and is just a few inches away from me.
A woman gets out of the car and starts yelling at me. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Are you okay?" She walks over to me and takes me to her car. She gives me a bottle of water to drink. She is trying to calm me down because I'm shaking. I don't know why, but I ask the lady what time it is. She says its 11:32. I look confused and look at my watch. It says 11:41. Then, I remember, my friend changed the time on my watch, so I wouldn't be late for work.