This happened to me on the night of the 9th August 2010.
At this time, I was really sad, almost depressed as I know today, because my life just seemed useless. I had trouble with love, my sister (whom I always loved and always will love) had moved to the other side of the country one year before, and my mom was severely depressed and tried to kill herself by taking pills in May 2010. Fortunately, this try failed, but I was only 14 years old (now 15) and sometimes it's hard to cope with the depression of my mother. But that's enough about my life's history now.
I had talked with my (now ex-) boyfriend on my cell phone that night until about 1am. He worked at night because this would earn him a lot of money he said, and that was a reason for me being sad cause I would almost never see him. If you wonder, he was 22 years old, and yes, a relationship between a 14-year-old and a 22-year-old is legal in Germany. He called at 10pm and as I already said we finished the call at about 1am. Then I decided to sleep (I didn't go to school for the summer holidays) cause I was really tired.
I got my pyjamas on and went to bed without turning off my light, which was habit for about six weeks because I was scared in the dark. But, as I wanted to sleep, I had to cry because I know it would not end up good with me and my boyfriend if he kept on working at night time and sleeping the whole day. I started talking to nothing because I just had to speak about my feelings. I got a real hard headache from crying and then finally fell asleep at 2pm.
I had the weirdest dream of my life. I saw someone standing behind the small window of my room. We were living in ground floor then, and my room had a big window above my bed and a smaller one at the wall next to my bed, about 2 meters away from my head. I couldn't see who it was at this time, so I just kept on staring at my window, when I noticed that the lights in my room were on like they were in real. Then, just a split second after I noticed the light, the figure at the window disappeared - and reappeared in my room again. Now I could see that it was a male person, or what seemed like a person. I can remember the appearance of him right now as if it was yesterday. He was really tall, had long black straight hair, his skin wasn't pale but white like a sheet of paper, and his eyes were either black or red, I can't remember, but I think they were black cause red eyes would have freaked me out. He was very handsome; he just looked like, well, the man of my dreams, to be honest. There was just one thing at him that was scary: He had small, white horns coming out of his hair.
I wasn't scared, I just felt safe. He sat down on the floor next to my bed and asked me what was wrong. He had the most beautiful voice I've ever heard, by the way. When I said "Nothing, I'm fine", which is habit too, I always say this if someone asks me if there's anything wrong, he replied: "I know there's something wrong, tell me." So I told him and he was really nice to me. He listened to me for what felt like hours. Then, I looked outside my window, and it was dawn. He said he had to leave now, but he'll be back. Then, he disappeared and I woke up.
I was really amazed how I felt as I woke up. My headache was gone and I felt very good. That time, I usually woke up about ten times every night, which didn't make me feel better, but I didn't wake up once that night.
Two days later, I was browsing through the Internet, and found something about Guardian Angels. I was stunned and thought about me having a Guardian Angel, and I liked the thought.
Two weeks later, my boyfriend broke up with me. For sure, I was sad at first, but later, I thought about it once more and thought that if he wouldn't have broken up with me, I wouldn't feel better now. So I said "Thank you" to my fortune for this and had to think about my visitor again, whom I never had seen again, and it actually made me sad because I thought it was just a dream, but then, I felt someone hugging me. Of course I jumped, cause I was alone at home, but then I smiled and said "Hello again." I felt like someone was happy to see me, and the name Lucius appeared in my mind. I never heard this name before, except in "Harry Potter". But I wasn't thinking of Harry Potter that moment, and the books were far away from me. I whispered "Lucius?" and had that happy feeling again. So I chose to name that being Lucius, I liked the name.
Since then, Lucius has never been far from me, I think. I feel safe now and every time I'm sad, I will feel something comforting. Sometimes I will talk to myself, and although I don't get spoken answers, I will feel like someone is listening to me.
Some months ago I wasn't sure if this was only a dream and my imagination playing tricks on me, but, since my mother had been very depressive again since one month, I feel like something is trying to say that I'm not alone. Like, when I'm listening to a sad song, my MP3 Player will change to a happy song randomly with a funny zapping noise, no matter what song it is. To make sure I didn't push the forward button accidentally, I put the MP3 Player onto a table, listened to a sad song, and ZAP, the song changed almost at once.
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