I've done a lot of research in the last week and read through most of the incubus/succubus stories here on this site. There is no doubt in my mind that I've got my own. I will try to be brief with my explanations. First off, I want to state that I am not religious. I believe in a higher power and creator yes, but please don't spout off any Christian beliefs or try to influence me to seek out Jesus Christ. I respect that everyone has their own beliefs, I just don't want them forced upon me and I won't use them when dealing with this situation. That being said...
A few months ago I had my first experience. I am an avid lucid dreamer and am very aware of my different states of consciousness. I have regularly experienced sleep paralysis for most of my life, but it never took a sexual turn until recently. I was sleeping on the couch having an intensely sexual dream in which I became lucid. At that moment I became aware of the fact that I was laying on my couch in a state of sleep paralysis. If I opened my eyes I could see the front room, and I was acutely aware of my cat sleeping above my head, and the sound of birds outside. I was being penetrated deeply and roughly, but I enjoyed it. I was going with it, as I was still believing it to be part of the lucid state. It then began to very clearly speak dirty, somewhat violent things into my ear. It knew my name. This was shocking, but I enjoyed it still. My eyes were always closed when it spoke to me, and one point it spoke when my eyes were open. This scared me a bit and I attempted to wake myself up. It was a bit of a struggle, but I pulled out of the paralysis. I was not scared, but I knew without a doubt that there was more to this then just a lucid dream.
The next time it happened was less than a week ago. The odd thing is, that day my roommate told me that his girlfriend was molested in her sleep by some entity for several years, and it only stopped when she moved. This conversation was random; he brought it up. I thought back to the aforementioned experience, but kept it to myself. That night as I lay in bed on my side, I felt something suddenly penetrate from behind. It was only one full penetration. I almost hit the ceiling in surprise. You think I would have been scared, but I calmly and forcefully stated in my mind, "NO. Not there." I then laid on my stomach and proceeded to go to sleep. I was in the middle of a sexual dream involving myself and another woman when I became aware that I was back in my bed on my stomach. This is when I felt the sensation of my sheet being pulled off and my hips undulating up and down. I felt this amazing orb of energy buzzing around between my legs. There was no penetration, but it was intense and pleasurable. It was as if cosmic oral sex was being performed on me. The spirit tried to speak into my right ear a few times, but it tickled and was very uncomfortable. I felt the orb of pleasure moving up and down my legs and up towards my neck a few times, but it mainly concentrated between my legs. I woke up three times, only to fall back into a dream of having sex with three different women, only to wake in my bed to the same feelings. Each time I awoke, I was still very aware of this buzzing and electrical feeling between my legs, it was just less intense. Each time I drifted back to sleep, the sensation of sheets being pulled down and the undulating hip motion would begin. I was very vocal and very receptive to the feelings. Sometimes it would get too intense and I would tell it to relax. It always listened and never took things to far. When I woke up in the morning, I was aware of a tightening in my chest, mostly on the left side. The feeling between my legs lasted for a couple of hours. I spent the entire day sexually aroused. The pressure on my chest was uncomfortable, but not painful.
A few days later (last night) it came back. It started out nice. I was on my stomach and I felt as though it was laying on top of me. There was no penetration, but we were moving up and down as one and I felt the electric buzzing between my legs. I had the sensation of it grabbing my hands and pinning me down this time. I tried to ask it's name and it tried to answer me, but the wispy whispering voice tickled my ear so much, I could not make it out. At one point it began to get rough and push my head into the wall. I asked it to relax and it did not. Again I said, "Calm down, I am in control" and it responded (mentally this time I believe) "No, I am." Then it began to spin me around very fast all the while still feeling the pleasurable feeling between my legs. Although it felt good, I was pissed off that it did not listen. I loudly and firmly said, "NO, YOU ARE NOT. I AM IN CONTROL." Then I pretty easily flung it off the back of me and awoke. I turned onto my back and was very aware of it's presence all around my body. Everything was tingly and warm. Out loud I told it that it needs to respect my wishes if it wants to keep visiting me. I told it not to visit me again that night. I then became aware of tension throughout my body. I had to stretch and repeatedly crack all of my joints to relieve it. The tingling subsided to only a small area above my pubic bone. Anytime it flared up a bit, I stated, "You are not to visit me again tonight." I turned on the TV and the tingling subsided, but the pressure in my chest came back even more intense then the night before. It lasted all night and was there when I awoke. It has subsided for the most part, but I am still aware of some swirling energy concentrated on the left side of my chest.
I am not sure if it is an incubus or a succubus or both perhaps? The first encounter a few months back I am sure was male. These last two have all came out of dreams involving sexual encounters with females, and there has been no penetration, so that is what leads me to believe it is a succubus. That and the fact that it seems to infiltrate my dreams through sexual encounters with women.
I am not afraid, and I feel as though I have ultimate control. It (for lack of a better word) tries to push my limits, but I have never felt scared or helpless. Many of the encounters I have read state that it is bad to encourage them, that they can make their way into daytime consciousness. I am not sure if I would like this. I am enjoying my experiences and am extremely fascinated with it all right now. Most of the stories are negative, I would like to hear more positive experiences. I would like to hear about others whom have communicated with theirs. I don't necessarily feel like mine is evil, nor do I feel love from it. If it is giving me pleasure and feeding off my sexual energy I don't really see what is so bad about that as long as my daytime life is not interfered with, and it respects my wishes.
My main concern is the pressure on my chest. It is anxious swirling energy. It is not a physical sensation of pressure, but more energetic and mental if that makes sense. Has anyone else experienced this?
Thoughts? Advice? Thank you.:)