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One Last Reminder


I am a widow and a mother of three children. My late husband was a violent man who as far as I can recall, never showed me an ounce of love or affection in all our married life. Shortly before we met, he had had an affair with another woman who was expecting his baby, but unfortunately she was killed in a road accident.

One day without any warning my husband drove off in the car and took his own life. To be totally honest, I couldn't grieve for him. My feelings for him had slowly ebbed away little by little, each time he lost his temper and beat me. I just felt enormous relief that I was free of him and his domineering family! I was angry too, that he could leave three small children just like that without giving a thought to their future. He was never violent towards them I might add, just me.

I remember one night in particular when we were lying in bed, and I was just lost in thoughts, unable to sleep when without any warning he suddenly hit me across the face with his fist. I literally saw stars! Next day I told my own parents that I had walked into a door when they asked me where I had got the bruised face and black eye. My father however, the kindest gentlest man in the world was not convinced I'm sure.

In the evening after my husbands funeral, I was alone in the house with my three little ones. The eldest ones were eight and six, and the youngest four years old. The house had been filled with visitors during the day, and my children were naturally very upset, and not a little scared of sleeping in their own rooms that night, so they pleaded to be allowed to share my bed. I agreed, and somehow we managed to squeeze together and I had the two youngest ones on one side of me, and the eldest one on the other.

We were just dozing off to sleep when suddenly there was an almighty bang on the bedroom door, and it seemed that the walls in the bedroom shook. The children began crying saying "What was that Mummy?" I know I hadn't imagined it, because they heard it too. I didn't tell them of course but I was terrified at the time.

We moved out of that house at the first opportunity, and I have never experienced any other unexplained "bumps" or "bangs" since then. I am totally convinced however, that this was my late husband having the last word!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, KateM, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

cosmogal926 (9 stories) (1223 posts)
10 years ago (2013-04-20)
Kate M, My first marriage ended because of abuse, and when my ex husband passed away I didn't grieve for him either. I am so sorry you and your children had to endure that. I also agree with the others and think you were right to move out and away as soon as you could. I wish you and your family happiness, you deserve it. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
sds (14 stories) (1434 posts)
10 years ago (2013-04-20)
Hello KateM, I am with every one of them that you had gotten rid of whatever terrible things that you experienced in your marital life. But I want to respectfully say that not all men are like that and like you said that your father was the kindest gentlest person in the world, there are also other men. But I feel that your experiences might have left you unmarried or even to think about it. I can understand.

As far as your and your children's experience of hearing a loud Bang is concerned, I feel in the same way as WishfulNull that it might be the negative energies that might have been prevalent in the house at that time that could have caused the bang and I also do not think that it could have been your late husband.

Regards and respects to you.

vulcan10 (5 stories) (332 posts)
10 years ago (2013-04-19)
I believe in his case, like it says in the word- to be absent from the body is to be with the Lord- but not in heaven! The next stop for him would be judgement where every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. Of course, it will be to late to beg forgiveness or mercy by then. They don't call it judgment day for nothing. He will get his just deserts for eternity. And for any other women, don't stay with a man who abuses you! For goodness sake! Leave at the first slap or sign! They never change, they only get better at saying they're sorry, and don't use the excuse "its for the kids", staying is much worse for the kids! If you love them you'll take them and leave!
KateM (1 stories) (1 posts)
10 years ago (2013-04-19)
WishfulNull and psychicmama. Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comments.
Thankfully my children are now grown up and happily married. I never mentioned this incident to them afterwards, and they never ever referred to it again.
I never married again, and I think WishfulNull you may be right about the counselling! I just can't trust men anymore!
WishfulNull (151 posts)
10 years ago (2013-04-19)
I am so glad that you are free of that awful, abusive situation! Not that I can cheer for someone's demise, but I believe it was karma which finally had to be accounted for. I am not religious, but I do think the universe strives for balance. You are a stronger woman than you realize, and I am so glad that you survived what must have been a living hell! As for the loud bang, I think after the house being a witness to such violence and negativity, some of that was likely absorbed, and was enough to manifest itself! I do not believe it was your husband - I think he is well and truly gone, his negativity forever neutralized by the universe, and you are truly free of him now! You may want to look into some therapy for the scars surviving an ordeal such as abuse can put on your heart. May you and your family find much-deserved healing, and now thrive in the happiness and light that lies ahead of you. ❤
psychicmama (1 stories) (51 posts)
10 years ago (2013-04-18)
Kate, thank you for sharing your story. That's terrible how he treated you. I'm very sorry to hear that but I hope you got on with your life, and it was better. I would've left the house quickly too! My brother had a similar occurrence after our mom died--a huge crash that sounded like a big car crash or the wall falling in! But after checking everything, he found nothing in his house or outside. We felt it was her. Do your kids remember the big bang now that they are older? Thank you again.

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