This happened while I was participating in a kind of "intervention" with some friends. A friend of myself and my roommates (I'll call her Nina here) was living with her boyfriend (Tony) and he hadn't been making a lot of good choices in his life. He knew that, but he didn't believe he could change. Four of us had gone over for dinner with them and were talking about all of the great things we could see for them if they made changes in their lives.
I'm trying to be appropriately vague here, but the context is important. They were living in his old room in his mother's house. They had a baby of about a year who shared the room with them. Tony had a drinking problem, wasn't working, and was about to be sent to jail for not paying child support for two other children he had with two other women. Not a pretty picture, and our friends also had to deal with his mother who didn't approve of Nina. Messy, messy situation.
After dinner we got talking seriously about what they could do to get their lives in order. Nothing terrible or mean, but hard and necessary things to do. Everyone's focus seemed to be on Nina, talking about her getting a job and help with watching the baby and all that. I looked over to see Tony sitting just a seat down from her on the couch leaned over with his elbows on his knees, his hands folded under his chin. The muscles were kind of standing out on his neck (not in a good way) and he looked almost ready to either yell or cry.
It was then that it started, just like other times. My heart started to beat funny, my face flushed really hot, and my stomach started to churn. Someone else was there, and this someone had something important to say. I could tell it was a male, and he was presenting as a little bit older than Tony, but definitely related. I got the impression he was trying to communicate to Tony directly, but it wasn't working at all.
Almost just as soon as I looked up, I had been hit with all these impressions and apparently whoever it was noticed it as well. In another second I felt like he was standing over me from behind my left shoulder and shouting at me. All the frustration made me nauseous and clouded up whatever he was trying to say, but to be fair he'd just been yelling at the emotional equivalent of a brick wall for at least 10 minutes. Must seem like an eternity for a spirit who can move fast enough to show up at my shoulder in a blink.
What he was feeling, though, wasn't malicious like the frustration seemed to show. Instead he seems to be encouraging whatever emotion Tony was having at the moment. I don't know what was going through his head, but Tony was clearly feeling a kind of weight on him. The word emotional doesn't seem to cover it, but he was engaged in something inside and this relative wanted him to know this was something he wanted and approved... But did not cause.
At that point a kind of aching shock went through my left shoulder, just behind but not quite to the shoulder blade. The feelings got strong enough to feel a distinct impression, "Tell him because I can't."
I interrupted the discussion by just saying Tony's name. Everybody looked at me like I was rude, but Tony looked up right away and for once I had his full attention. All I said was, "Your brother wants you to know that this is how he wants you to feel about what's going on with your life."
Tony broke. It was unlike any way we'd ever seen him behave. With tears down his face he ran out of the room and Nina went after him. Needless to say I ruined the party, but when they came back the presence was calmed and quiet enough I didn't notice if he was still there.
I didn't know the presence was Tony's brother. He'd only mentioned he even had a brother once and he didn't feel comfortable talking about it. We didn't discuss it any more that night, but later Nina explained his brother had been killed and Tony had started up his bad habits within the year his brother died. She even showed us a t-shirt of Tony's that had his brother's picture. I don't experience spirits in any visual way, sometimes I wish I did, so I didn't recognize him even though they all asked if I did.
After that my roommates weren't so open about our visits and things got a bit rough. They didn't bring it up at all, and I respected their choice. Doubt if you like, but this is far from the only experience I've had concerning passed on loved ones of my friends.
Over the course of a few weeks Tony did make some changes in his life. Not all of the ones we had advised, but he made good choices for himself and we were all grateful for that. That's the real point of this, I'm sure.