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Always Afraid


I don't even know how to start, this is my first time I write something on a site, I usually don't speak about what happen to me, just family and close friends know.

Everything started when I was very little. My family did not tell me that I had a twin brother, but I always knew, I always felt him strongly until the age of 6-7 years old, after that I felt him only when I was upset or hurt, now I feel him just when I am in great pain or very sad, depressed. This is not a problem, I actually feel protected by him, the problem is I feel ghosts, I feel when someone is going to die and I even see White shadows, it scares the hell out of me.

I am from Romania, I am not very religious, but I strongly believe in a greater force especially after all I've seen and felt. 7 years ago my great-great mother died, but before she died she grabbed my shirt and told me that someone is trying to make me suffer and I will have a heavy heart all my life. Then I never thought she was referring to this, but now I am 100% sure she knew what she was speaking about. At that point I was leaving alone in a 1 bedroom flat. That week she died and in that period I got out of an 8 year old relationship. I was devastated... It was a very hard period of my life.

Being alone in that flat was horrible and I became to be very afraid. I felt that someone wanted to hurt me, make me suffer, I even started to sleep with the light on. Every other day my light bulbs exploded.

One night after visiting my mother I went home and of course I've turned off my living lights... It exploded. Turned the lamp on... The light bulb from the lamp exploded also. I have changed the light-bulbs thinking is some kind of electricity problems, but the feeling of someone watching me never disappeared.

After about 2 hours someone knocked at the door... I simply froze... It was about 1 am, Who the hell could it be? I tiptoed at the door, looked through the door viewer but no one was there. I've ran back to the living room and felt that something/someone was watching me. I was very afraid, did not know how to react, what to do...I've tried to watch TV... At some point I fell asleep on the couch.

At one point I woke up on the floor, screaming, feeling fire around me, feeling that I was burning in flames and I heard someone shouting, a female voice. It felt so real, but I also felt that woman that was shouting tried to hurt me.

From that point The bulb light exploding now and then was a common thing, the horrible feeling that I felt that night continued for a couple of months, until I visited a church and spoke to a priest (my friends insisted to do this).

Everything stopped for a while but continued after I left the country and moved to UK here I've started to be sad again.

Please help me, or if someone was in the same situation like me, give me some advice. I will continued with some more stories later.

Feel free to ask me anything!

Thank you for reading my story!

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, alina_nefer, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Puthy (5 posts)
7 years ago (2017-10-04)
Go to a monk monastery see if dat helps I mean days what I'd do if I was chu
Anno_Domini (3 stories) (167 posts)
7 years ago (2017-07-27)
Hi alina_nefer,

I feel that you should stick to what works. Having been to see a priest at a church which kept whatever was bothering you away for a while in Romania, you should also find a pastor or priest in the UK (shouldn't be too hard!) to help you. I believe if you accept Christ, then whatever bothering you will leave you alone.

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4 New International Version (NIV)
alina_nefer (2 stories) (4 posts)
7 years ago (2017-07-26)
thank you everyone for the nice words and advices, I will follow them! [at] twiggly I will be more then pleased to speak to someone about my problems. My e-mail is alina_s19 [at] And please if anyone has the same problems like me I am more then eager to receive more advices, if there is a way to conquer my fear.

Thank you everyone! ❤
Twiggly (1 posts)
7 years ago (2017-07-25)
Hi, your story touched me and makes my heart reach out to you. I am so sorry that you must live with this great fear and feel disgusted at the cruel forces that enjoy plaguing you! This is unnecessary. I don't understand why these situations like yours happen; but I believe there is a good power much greater than this evil one bothering you... A power of good far stronger than this evil power, and able to eradicate this crippling fear, real and strong tho' it may be.
I just want to extend my best wishes to you in your struggle with this! I am so sorry! Next time it happens, please know that there is someone out there who is praying for you, (you have my promise that I will pray) that this evil will leave you alone and in peace. If you ever wish to visit or email or contact me, just let me know here:).
I used to live with a terrible fear also, and a few small strange things did happen to me, as well, although not nearly as dramatic as what you are experiencing.
I wish you all of the best and love you, though I have never met you!
AllisonElizabeth (2 posts)
7 years ago (2017-07-24)
I use natural stones for protection from spirits. Try keeping black tourmaline and some smoky quartz in your pocket. It will protect your from energy attacks from the living and the spirits on the other side.

I hope this is helpful!
alina_nefer (2 stories) (4 posts)
7 years ago (2017-07-20)
Thank you for giving me your cleansing method, I will surely use it. I really don't know about my great-great mother having dementia. I used to work at a care center for elderly people with dementia. I don't think she had it, but you never know how people react when they are about to die. Even at the care center I knew when someone is about to die, I could feel it probably 3-4 days before someone died.
About my 'gift', I really don't know what to say and how to get rid of the fear. Actually 2 years ago, I bought a second hand lamp from a man... He just looked at me and said...,,ohhhh you are like me, I can see your aura, let go of your fear and you can do great things,, I just freaked out and told nobody about it. I really don't know why this is happening to me. How do I get read of the fear if strange things are happening to me and I can't explain them...that's why I am afraid, plus... I can't speak with anyone about it...
And that blessing in disguise... About my boyfriend... He is my husband now...:) and he is the only one who understands me... I will come back with my other stories... Take care and blessings from Romania
lady-glow (16 stories) (3165 posts)
7 years ago (2017-07-20)
Welcome to YGS.

Alina_nefer: I'm sorry for your loss. Not meaning to pry in your personal life and you do not have to answer to my following question but, what was the mental state of your G-Grandmother at the time of her passing? Are you aware of her having the ability of foreseeing the future or was she suffering from dementia?

This is just my opinion, but it is important to establish if her mind was working properly and she actually was aware of what she told you or if all this was only in her imagination and you felt compelled to relate any misfortune and/or unexplained event to her last words. (My own Grandmother had some startling ideas in the last months before her death, at some point she was convinced that the family cat was in love with one of my cousins!)

Since you'd already moved, I guess it is too late by now to ask the neighbors if they,too, were having problems with their light bulbs. As for you breaking up with your boyfriend well, perhaps it's a blessing in disguise. Let time decide.

If you have the 'gift' of sensitivity it is going to be difficult to deny it or to hide from it, perhaps you should start thinking about learning more about it and stop feeling afraid.

In the meanwhile you may want to try rook's cleansing method:

Recipe for a Home Cleansing/Shielding... (allow for two or 3 days to complete)

Day one: Open all curtains window and doors with screens installed, let fresh air and sunshine into the home. Have all closets, cabinets and other 'dark spaces' open so that as much natural light as possible can enter those spaces. After 2-3 hours take a broom and 'sweep' out each room (this is symbolic and you do not have to really sweep) focus your thoughts on sweeping (pushing) out all negative energies / entities /thoughts. Close home up after completing each room of your home... Please do not forget your garage if you have one. (Optional) Light incense (sandalwood or Dragons-blood works well for me) and let aroma fill the home, and/or play a tape that contains your favorite Church/Positive, Upbeat (songs that give you good thoughts) songs before you begin sweeping.

Day two (or three): Once again open all curtains, windows and doors. Take a White candle (Optional) to the center most point of the home, sit on the floor and place candle in front of you. Light the candle (visualize a white ball of light) and then focus on the flame... Visualize the flame (white light) filled with positive thoughts, energy. (Say a prayer at this time if you so desire... Ask for cleansing positive energy to fill the candles flame/white light). Hold this 'image' in your mind and then visualize the flame (light) slowly expanding outward, visualize it filling the room your in, every corner and 'dark space'. Continue to visualize it's outer edges pushing away (burning away) any and all negative energies/entities out and away from each room in your home. Once you have visualized this flame (light) filling your entire home, picture it expanding to your property lines. Hold this image in your mind for a few moments then visualize 'anchoring' this flame (light) where you are sitting which is the center most point of your home. Once you have done this. Take a deep breath, relax a few moments and then blow out the candle. (If you didn't use a candle just let yourself relax a moment or two.) "

Now you can create a shield for yourself using the 'home shield' technique but instead of focusing on your home visualize the 'flame' simply surrounding you instead of your home... Best time to do this is after a nice shower using a rosemary scented soap (rosemary is good for purification and protection.)

Good luck!

Looking forwards to read more of your experiences.

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