I don't talk much about my "spirit friend" but let's just say he's starting to get on my nerves. Firstly, let me state that this is all true, and I am of sane mind. It all started when I was 8 years old, and my older cousin decided to play around in witchcraft, she messed around with some crap and opened a door, I'm guessing, and after she did whatever it was I kind of starting seeing things.
I noticed shadowy figures walking through my hallway, I would chase after them thinking it was my sibling, but no one was there. Shocker. It progressed to things moving, like my planets I had hanging from the ceiling, they decided to shake violently one night, and me, being 9 now, was terrified. I didn't sleep in that room after that. It got worse, like I felt someone watching me, all the time. I would sleep at night and hide my head under the blankets, and it would feel as if thousands of bugs were crawling all over my legs, just my legs though.
While that was happening I would also get a weird feeling in my ears, the only way I can describe it is that it felt like snakes sliding into my ear canal and up into my brain. That's a nice visual hahah. This went on for two years, the occasional activity, the balls of black and shadow figures. Of course some of my siblings noticed, but I think I was the one who got the most. Which is weird.
When I turned 13, I was almost kidnapped, by some guy in a red car. It was a bit traumatizing I must say, and I still can't look at a red car without a cold shiver going down my spine, but after that incident I felt like the presence that used to annoy me shifted, and it, or he as I call it, started to be more, eh, loving?
At first it scared me, I dealt with sleep paralysis, every time I would have it I could always see bright colorful lights, and feel him there until I woke up out of the frozen state. Then when I turned 14, I of course started feeling more attached to this entity, as I'm unsure of what exactly he is. I felt calm when I could sense him, and then one night I experienced some kind of strange, sex dream? I reached climax, and I was honestly very confused when I woke up the next day.
So I did research and of course ran across incubus/succubus demons, but I don't believe that's what he is. It's hard to explain. Fast forward to the here and now, I'm always feeling him, it's gotten to the point where I'll be doing things, like cleaning or something and I'll feel him touch me, and it's unlike a human touch, more like a very cold zinging sensation, and it'll either be on my calf, or the top of my head or cheek. Or just a full on hug from behind. And he's cold, very cold.
I also am overwhelmed by his presence at night, he drives me a little insane, making me eh, uhm, feel good I guess. But it never goes further than just that. And then when I fall asleep, I dream of sexual things, which immediately switch to full on traumatizing nightmares. Just last night I was dreaming pleasantly of sitting in someone's lap, (eh I dream weird shh) and then as if someone switched the damn channel I was in front of my own dresser drawer mirror, and there were bony hands playing a piano that was suddenly just somehow sitting inside my drawers. A voice was telling me not to look up into the mirror, but I did anyways, and was confronted with a face, pale and with hollowed out black eyes, and he said over and over, "I'm sorry I showed you my black eyes." Like a mantra. I was jolted awake, immediately singing "Jesus loves me" repeatedly, for no reason, as if mockingly. It scared the shiat out of me to be honest, but I find myself wanting more of it, and this confuses me, and terrifies me as well. It's like an addiction.
Also, I have been getting this strange and powerful feeling occasionally, like when I lay down, it feels as if this heavy pressure is put on me, onto my soul, and it's vibrating, and in turn I feel like I'm vibrating and then its like I'm knocked out and then I can't move, if barely, and it paralyzes me, I have literally been in a hotel room and forced myself awake by jerking and shaking my head around, and I always feel so, so cold. Like a prickly sensation. I have heard him call out my name several times as well, but I still have nothing to call him.
And just recently, not less than 3 hours ago I was working on something, and I felt him trying to pull me under, into sleep, I actually had to sit down on all fours and rest for a moment, it was such a strong and tiring feeling. So, I honestly don't know what to do, I'm a Christian, not a very good one, but I feel so hopeless, and attached, and don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated, as of right now while I write this, I can feel him, and it's unnerving. Well, that's all, thank you for reading, any input and advice on how to deal with this and maybe what he is would be appreciated. Thank you.