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I Think I Was Visited By A Deceased Friend


Two years ago I lost one of what I would call my three nearest and dearest friends, who I'll call Hannah for purposes of this story. We met in secondary school, stayed in touch through uni, and remained quite close throughout while going out, going on holiday together, complaining about men, shopping, all the things one does. She knew everything about me and vice versa. At 26 she died very suddenly of an unexpected illness. I was heartbroken and still am. Worse yet, her coffin was closed at the funeral. I'm a British woman of Irish extraction so I'm used to wakes like my grandparents and some aunts and uncles have where you can see the body and say goodbye. Hannah came from Middle England, so none of that. I wanted to see Hannah and tuck a note into her coffin, touch her body, maybe give her a goodbye kiss, but I couldn't. As a result, it kind of didn't "seem real". Part of me felt like she simply moved away and told no one.

About six months after her death I had a wonderful dream where Hannah simply came by my flat early in the morning and we had coffee, went out for brunch, messed around, and mixed our own cocktails and watched Project Runway and things like that. Throughout I was going on and on about my new boyfriend, what I think about my job and the colleagues that I hate, telling stupid stories about things that have happened, and so on, but when I asked her how she was doing she would just reply "Oh, things are fine" or "Nothing much going on with me" or something like that. She was wearing a specific elbow length, knee length floral sheath dress she'd liked in life and she didn't have shoes on - she was barefoot. When I asked her why she was barefoot she just said she didn't have any shoes.

I woke up at 6 am to a hangover and a load of things to do at work and cried. Later on, I puzzled over the whole dream. I'm not (wasn't) a superstitious woman but I do tend to think these things mean something, you know?

I didn't tell anyone about it until recently, when I went over to dinner at her childhood home with her parents and brother (they are delightful people). That evening I pulled the mother aside and told her about my dream and she gasped quietly. She nodded, took me upstairs, and gave me an envelope to look at. Apparently, they had someone at the funeral parlour take photos of Hannah in her coffin in the chapel of rest before it was closed for the funeral. Her family had not looked at them.

I spent half an hour in that upstairs room, unable to open the envelope until I finally forced myself to. I was shaking all over. But there she was - my Hannah, lying in the coffin. She looked at peace. Her face framed by her lustrous black hair on the pillow cradling her head. Her arms were at her side. She was wearing the same dress she had on in the dream.

Hannah had big feet (about 9.5) and long toes that she was quite self conscious of and she was desperately uncomfortable wearing fashionable, girly shoes. And there those feet and toes were, up against the tufts of satin lining at the bottom of the coffin. I burst into tears.

I had closure then. I know that Hannah had come to visit me and let me unload, and let me tell her all about the things she's missing. I feel so much better now that I know that she's still there somewhere. I feel that it's only a matter of time before she comes by again and I get to tell her all about every new thing that will unfold. Hannah is not a "was", not in the past - she's simply around the corner or in the next room now. This is so immensely comforting.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, PretentiousSitch, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

VeronicaMarie (5 stories) (106 posts)
6 years ago (2018-03-02)
I am so very sorry for your loss, Pretentious.
But what an amazing dream. Especially since you dreamed of her wearing the dress she was buried in. I'm no expert, but this definitely sounds like a visitation dream to me. I think you will notice that you will continue to remember the details of it, unlike most dreams that seem to dissipate over time. Thank you for sharing that lovely story.
CuriousDee (8 stories) (631 posts)
6 years ago (2018-02-19)
Hi PretentiousSitch,

First, I'm so sorry for your loss 😟

If it helps, I had a similar experience. My mother passed away about 17 years ago unexpectedly. The wake and funeral were also closed casket. I did not feel like I had any issues with closure; I definitely cried buckets, leaned on family, went through a "I don't care about anything phase" I just want my mom, etc. However, about 3 months after her death, I had recurring dreams that she had left us instead of passing away. Every dream (nightmare) was the same; My mom left because she didn't want to be with my dad, brothers and myself. I would wake up wondering why I was plagued by these dreams.

After several months of this, I confided in my Aunt (my mother's sister). Without hesitation, she said "You poor thing. You feel abandoned, that's why you're having those dreams."

I thought about how that made a lot of sense and "filed" it away in my mind. And wouldn't you know it; The next time I had a dream of my mom, she paid me a visit! This was about 2-3 weeks after my talk with my Aunt. It was without a doubt, one of the most vivid, emotional and beautiful dreams I've ever had. It left me knowing 100% that my mom is still with me. It was the closure I needed and I'm sure she knew that.

Sorry for the long comment, hope it helps ❤
tace (37 posts)
6 years ago (2018-02-19)
I am so sorry for your loss of a dear friend. It's so hard to say goodbye. I am happy she came by to see you. ❤
AugustaM (7 stories) (996 posts)
6 years ago (2018-02-18)
I so want to give you a hug. I am sorry you lost so dear a friend and for her life to have been cut so short. It is wonderful that she has found a way to be with you still... Not even all powerful death can conquer love ❤
msforgetmenott (17 stories) (316 posts)
6 years ago (2018-02-17)
Hello Pretentious,

Saying a final goodbye to a life long friend, is extremely difficult at any age.

In this writing, your pain is very apparent, and I hope by putting the words to type, you have begun to heal from your personal loss.

May your shared memories hold you during this time, and for each day forward.

LuciaJacinta (8 stories) (291 posts)
6 years ago (2018-02-17)
I like your story. Very comforting. You described her in a very friendly way. I'm sorry for your loss ❤
RCRuskin (9 stories) (834 posts)
6 years ago (2018-02-17)
Hi, Pretentious. That seems an odd name to me, but OK:)

I have just one question for clarity. I might have missed it while reading your experience. I know you had drinks in the dream, but did you have drinks the evening before you had this dream?

Also, regarding the funeral, I know what you mean. There is a tradition called The Last Kiss where mourners file past the casket while a choir sings specific verses, and it is possible to touch the deceased one last time before the casket is closed and planted in the ground. The act brings closure to me; without it, the death does not seem real.

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