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Rest In Peace My Darling Brother

 

Sunday night the 26th August 2018 I got a call from one of my brothers and he said, " pack an overnight bag I'm going to pick you up, we are going to visit our eldest brother."

My eldest brother lives just over 3 hours away and was suffering with diabetes for the last 10years. When my mother and sister visited him the day before they were worried and called an ambulance to take him to hospital.

When he arrived in hospital he was put straight into ICU. He had pneumonia, his kidneys were failing, he had high sugar levels and high potassium levels. Not long after being admitted into ICU he had a major stroke and was in a coma. The doctors did a MRA scan to see what was going on and various other tests. He apparently had a huge blood cloth at the back of his head and had to have it removed immediately.

All his children and little grandchildren, his brothers, my mum, my sister and I were at the hospital. We took turns two by two into the ICU ward to sit with him. We held his hand, told him we loved him and to come back to us.

We took over the full waiting area on the floor. We stayed near by in hotels and his wife stayed in the courtesy hospital room.

We all returned early on the 27th August. There was no change. The doctors did another MRA scan and the specialist saw him. The doctors said he was brain dead and the tubes in his lungs were helping him breathe along with the life support machine. The doctors asked us to make a decision to keep him on life support indefinitely or switch them off.

On the 28th August, all his children, wife, and my brother and sister decided to switch the machines off. My mum and I said NO! We were out voted.

The priest came and read him his last rites. Everyone gathered around and said their goodbyes. The machines were switched off and the tubes were removed that helped him breathe. The nurse gave him a needle, a sedative to ease his pain whiles he passed. Slowly he stopped breathing.

I'm still in shock. I can't believe he's gone. 😢

He was a kind, loving brother, father, husband, grandfather and son.

I got home late last night. I was very upset. I went to my room and got into bed. I stayed awake. In the corner of my room near the door I saw two shadows. They were faint but they were shaped liked people. I think it was my father and eldest brother saying goodbye. I wasn't scared, I was comforted by their presence. They didn't stay long. Less than a minute but long enough for me to see them.

I hope you both rest in peace dad and my dearest brother. You are both very loved 😢

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Sleeping-with-steve, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
10 months ago (2018-10-13)
Hello BeautInside,

I was Just reading comments on my posts and other members comments and noticed the up vote I gave you and a couple of other members are gone.
😕

Strange. 😕 I won't harp on it. I know we're not suppose to worry about the votes.

Best wishes,
Miandra
😘
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
 
11 months ago (2018-09-26)
Hello Dirt Creature,

I haven't seen you about much. Hope your well.

Thank you for your condolences. My brother is with my father now. I know they are looking after each other.

May they both rest in peace.

Thank you for dropping by.
😘 ❤ 😘
DirtCreature (guest)
+1
11 months ago (2018-09-26)
I am so sorry, SWS. My heart goes out to you. ❤ That is a tragic and difficult choice for anyone to make and accept. Hope all is well on your end.
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
 
11 months ago (2018-09-26)
Hello Anno-Domini,

I haven't seen you around so I went to your profile page.

WOW! So much amazing information. I'm going to click on the vanity fair link later and have a read. You've recommended 7 non fiction books that I'm also going to google too.

Apparently according to the specialists looking after my brother, he was brain dead. No one can live like that. He was on life support. Once the machine's were switched off he slowly passed. His breathing stopped. 😢

Thank you so much for your condolences, I appreciate it very much.

I'm going to have a read of your post. They look interesting.
😘 ❤ 😘
Anno_Domini (3 stories) (153 posts)
+1
11 months ago (2018-09-26)
Sorry for your loss. It can't be easy to have to vote for something like that.
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
 
11 months ago (2018-09-11)
Hello Tace,

Thank you for your condolences. That's very sweet of you.

😘 ❤ 😘
tace (32 posts)
+1
11 months ago (2018-09-11)
So very sorry for your loss of your beloved brother, my condolences to you and your family. ❤
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
 
11 months ago (2018-09-11)
Hello Cups

Yes, I agree this community is fantastic. Everyone is kind and always there to offer support.

I recently read KingKings comment on a post. He seems to have a couple of grudges. One with an OP and one with LG.

Hopefully he's not one of the trolls. I'm trying to trace back my steps to see if I can find his comment.

I'm sure there are a few trolls out there. Hopefully they will stop. They just need to understand that everyone wants harmony and positive energy.

Once again I have ' up voted' everyone until the system says I've done my daily limit. Lol.

😘 ❤ 😘
Cups (7 stories) (154 posts)
+1
11 months ago (2018-09-11)
Thanks, SWS! That's sweet - I'm hangin' in. Hope YOU are doing okay. I'm an only child but I can't imagine losing even my brothers-in-law... Heartbreaking to think about.

Yes, this community is wonderfully supportive! We can be a rascally bunch at times but I believe it's all with good intentions in the long run.
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
11 months ago (2018-09-11)
Hello Cups,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're okay.

If you need to communicate about what happened, It actually helps to talk about it.

I've felt real comfort from sharing this post with the YGS community. Everyone has been so awesome and comforting.

Please accept my sincere apologies & condolences.

😘 ❤ 😘
Cups (7 stories) (154 posts)
+1
11 months ago (2018-09-11)
Aw, thanks so much, SWS. Actually, we just had a death in the family as well, so your story really spoke to me... I can totally relate, & I love that you found comfort in the visitations you received - it warmed my heart! Again, thanks for sharing.
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
11 months ago (2018-09-10)
Hello Cups,

I haven't seen you for a few days. I hope you're well.

Thank you for your condolences. I really appreciate your sincere kind words.

😘 ❤ 😘
Cups (7 stories) (154 posts)
+2
11 months ago (2018-09-10)
Thanks for sharing this deeply personal account. It's so comforting when we get that kind of validation when it's needed most. I'm sorry to hear of your brother's passing & I can't say something like "at least he's not suffering"...not discounting anyone else's words or thoughts, but losing someone close SUCKS. It's painful & hard to get through. I wish you nothing but strength during this time.
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-08)
Hello Jubeele and Rex-T,

Thank you for your condolences. Yes, I feel loved knowing my father and brother came to say goodbye.

I know they are looking after each other.

Kindest regards,
Miandra. 😘 ❤ 😘
Jubeele (17 stories) (755 posts)
+2
12 months ago (2018-09-08)
Words don't say enough in times like this. We're so sorry for your loss. Our hearts go out to you and your family. Mum had to make that terrible decision too with Dad under similar circumstances...

But take comfort in knowing that your brother and father came to say farewell to you, and know that you're loved in turn. Hold fast to your loving memories of them and they'll always stay in your heart. Take care of yourself. ❤

Regards

Jubeeele & Rex-T
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
 
12 months ago (2018-09-07)
Hello Aporetic,

Thank you so much for your condolences and kind words. I appreciate it. Its comforting to know so many people on YGS care. Its very reassuring.

😘 ❤ 😘
Aporetic (5 stories) (125 posts)
+2
12 months ago (2018-09-07)
Greetings, SWS

I'm so terribly sorry to read of your brother's passing. I'm always at a loss for words in these situations. What I might see as comfort might cause you more pain - and I so don't wish that upon anyone who's just lost a loved one.

Please accept my condolences as I send warm thoughts your way. May your heart find peace, comfort, and acceptance from family and friends.

With warmest regards
Apo
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
 
12 months ago (2018-09-07)
BesutInside,

You're such a caring person. Thanks for popping back again.

Yes, I felt very comfortable and I wasn't scared in the slightest. I just had a feeling the two shadows were my father and brother.

I know I have lots of relatives who have passed looking out for me. I feel safe.

The hag and Steven haven't been back since the 9th August.

Thanks again for your lovely reply.

😘 ❤ 😘
BeautInside (3 stories) (326 posts)
 
12 months ago (2018-09-07)
Hi SWS,

I'm glad I was able to shed some light, I know it doesn't make it easier and only time will help, but I was hoping it could bring you some piece of mind.

I have no doubt he went visit you, after all you were grieving and maybe he was trying to let you know he's okay now. The comfort you felt says it all. 😉

Take care. ❤
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-07)
Hello Sushantka,

How are you my friend?

Thanks for stopping by and for your condolences.

Yes, he's no longer in pain. As the doctors said, 'He's brain dead/dead and without the machines he will pass within minutes.' And he did pass with no time once the machines were unplugged.

Once again, thank you very much for your lovely reply. I appreciate it.

😘 ❤ 😘
sushantkar (16 stories) (523 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-07)
Hello SWS, my condolences for your loss. May your eldest brother rest in peace. It was really hard for a family to take such decision and watch it's love one getting transit to the other side. It surely was heartbroken. As other members said, sometimes, it is better to end suffering rather than to continue it for prolonged period but still it is very hard for anyone to decide whether to let their family member go.

Regards
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
 
12 months ago (2018-09-07)
Hello Twighlight1011,

You didn't come across disrespectful in any way.

I completely understand your pain like it happened yesterday. They say, 'Time makes it better'. I'm not so sure about that. I still miss my father. He worked so hard for all his 9 children. I remember we had to take sugar sandwiches to school for lunch because we didn't have money for cheese or ham. In those days cheese and ham was a luxury.

Anyway, please don't think you turned this around onto you. We are all here for each other. That's what I love about this community.

You're a sweetheart, thank you for your prayers and sincere thoughts. 😘 ❤ 😘
Twilight1011 (7 stories) (256 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-06)
SWS, no apologies necessary. I didn't mean to turn your experience on me, I only meant to say that I know how it feels to lose a brother like that. Not that I know exactly what you're going through, as we all feel, and grieve differently. I'm sorry if I came off disrespectful in any way. All this is still fresh for you, as it just recently happened, and I wanted to give you comfort in knowing that you're not alone, and that it will get easier. As for now, you and your family are the ones in need of all the prayers, as ya'll go through such a difficult time. I only pray that you and your family find comfort in ya'lls time of need. Thank you for letting me share a piece of my life with you, as it helps keep my loved ones memory alive ❤
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-06)
Hello Zaruje,

How are you my friend? 😄

Thank you so much for your condolences.

Yes, I feel sure my father and brother are in a happy place looking after each other.

My fathers spirit was seen at my mothers house for a long time after he passed. Perhaps he took my brother there after visiting me. Who knows? Main thing is he is no longer in pain.

Thank you again.
😘 ❤ 😘
Zaruje (13 stories) (169 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-06)
Sorry for your loss. Anyone can admit that it's hard to say goodbye to someone that they love. I couldn't imagine your pain and what you had to go through. I hope that they (your father and brother) are now in a better place, free from pain. Thank you for sharing!

Z ❤ ❤ ❤
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-06)
Hello Twighlight1011,

My apologies, I read your brothers age wrong. You had 16 and I said 19.

I feel sorry for your mum. It's hard on everyone in your family and now you have the added loss of your Mamaw to deal with. My sincere condolences.

😳 😢 😳
Twilight1011 (7 stories) (256 posts)
+2
12 months ago (2018-09-06)
SWS, he did have a very short life, and hate how soon he was taken, especially after such a long battle he had. I remember hearing at that time, he was the longest one to have lived as long as he did with his rare disease. I'm sorry for the confusion, but the 19 years is how long it's been since he has been gone. He was 16 when he died. That's crazy to hear that's also your birthday, as that day brings such heartache to me and my mom 😢 I try my best to keep her happy, and busy on that day. I learned last year, that apparently around that time, she has certain spells, to where she either ends up passing out hurting herself (by accident), or ends up being hospitalized. I was unaware of all of this, as she tends to keep stuff like that to herself. But after finding out, I realized it always seems to happen around my brother's death. As a mother, I couldn't begin to imagine the kind of pain one would feel, having to lose their child, especially so young. I wish no parent to ever have to bury their own child 😳 the first year is always the hardest, as you have to go through everything like holidays, or birthdays etc, without them for the first time. I think after that, is when it's a little easier. I just got past my one year marker with my Mamaw, whom I was very close with, this past June. It still hurts, but knowing I got through the worst so far, helps me keep going forward. Try to take it one day at a time.
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-06)
Hello Lady Glow,

Yes, its true, he's free of pain now.

Thank you Lady-Glow, you're a sweetheart.

😘 ❤ 😘
lady-glow (11 stories) (2399 posts)
 
12 months ago (2018-09-06)
SWS - it's a fact not easy to understand but, sometime, death is freedom.

I'm sorry for your loss.
Sleeping-with-steve (7 stories) (365 posts)
+1
12 months ago (2018-09-06)
Hello Twighlight1011,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your brother died on my birthday (4th September). He had his whole life ahead of him. Its very sad knowing he left you at the age of 19 years old. As you said, he's no longer in pain and with your father just like my brother is with my father. It still doesn't make it any easier. Hopefully time will.

Thank you for your condolences and prayers.
I truly appreciate your reply.

😘 ❤ 😘

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