Almost a year ago I woke from a strange dream. I dreamt that my partner's dresser was missing from our bedroom and I was staring at an empty space. I awoke with a very uncomfortable feeling and tried my best to rationalize the dream as being more related to the fact we had new bedroom furniture on layaway at a local store and the dresser would be going. Still, though, something didn't feel right. In the past I have had dreams before pets have passed. Usually I dream something of theirs is missing (a pet bed, cage, etc.) and I get a very foreboding feeling. This was the first time I had ever had this happen where it involved a person.
Last Memorial Day weekend, May 28th, 2022, to be precise, my partner was accidentally killed when his gun fired just as we were turning in for the night. It was a tragic accident and to this day I don't understand how this happened. I really feel that the dream I had earlier was a premonition of what was to come although I could hardly glean it would be the harbinger of something so tragic. The bullet missed me and to this day, I don't know how I am still here.
As part of my healing, I stayed up in a northern Arizona town on weekends where I'd journal, rest, cry, and just relax. Over this past Thanksgiving weekend, I decided to read back in the journal I had kept since the accident. I have journaled since I was 12 years old and have always loved the aspect that we can track our progress and growth by simply reading back.
I got into bed with my notebook and started to read. As I reached more current times, my eyes started to close and the notebook would fall towards my face, jerking me back awake. After a few times of this happening, I set the notebook down and started to drift off. Somewhere in between that still awake and almost asleep state, I heard my partner's voice as if he were talking right into my ear. His voice was unmistakable. He told he was so proud of me. I could hear the intonation of the words. I immediately sat up in bed and said out loud, "I heard you! I heard you!"
He could clearly see what I was doing. He had to have known I was reading back on my journey through grieving his loss. It gives me hope that our loved ones are always with us. A lot of my friends have had signs so I was happy that is was finally my turn. Months later I can still replay this back in my mind. I memorized all of it. Every syllable.
I haven't had much more happen after that. I've asked for a few signs here and there, and he has always come through. On occasion I will smell pipe smoke in the house when no one has been smoking. Thanks for reading.