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My Dad Appeared to my Friends


My dad passed away in 1993 in a helicopter accident in Malelane, South Africa. We were very close and I still miss him dearly. In the year 2000, me and a few friends went away for a week to a secluded place on a game farm.

It was raining outside on the 3rd evening, so we all decided to stay indoors and do the marshmallow thing over a candle light. We made jokes and shared stories about our lives. I was sitting with my back to the corner, with my friends sitting around me in a circle. Later on I got tired and lied down on my friends lap.

It was getting late so I started falling asleep. The next moment it went all quiet and I opened my eyes. I looked straight into my friends eyes, but she was looking at something else behind me and the friend whose lap I was lying on. The look on her face gave me such a fright that I didn't want to turn around. I remember praying that it wasn't people breaking in and wanting to hurt us.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, I looked up and saw that it was all misty behind us, and then it was normal again.

The 2 friends that saw what was behind us, didn't want to speak about it and we left it. It bothered me the whole time and I kept on nagging them to tell me.

Eventually they told me that they saw a man behind us. Just sitting there and smiling. When I got up, he disappeared.

These 2 friends of mine are very trustworthy and I would never think that they would lie to me. This whole thing puzzled me because nothing like this has ever happened.

A few weeks passed when the 2 friends came to visit me at my mom's house, we walked passed some old photo's of my dad and that's when the girls freaked out. Apparently my dad is the man they saw sitting behind me... Smiling!

To this day I still can't figure out why my dad would appear to my friends and not to me. Why he was smiling and why he disappeared. when I got up. They say he looked content and happy.

Why not appear to me if I'm the one that was missing him so much ? I just think it's so unfair...

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Believer, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Dreamcatcher (6 posts)
14 years ago (2008-06-29)
Hi Believer.
Some of our questions will never be answered no matter how hard we try. Even though you might not have seen him that night, I can promise you that our loved ones are always looking after us. And he will definitely appear to you one way or another. My grandfather passed away almost 7 years ago and to this day he is still with me. He might not have appeared to me in a consious state, but he talks to me in my dreams. To many, it might just be dreams, but I believe strongly that it's his way to communicate with me in a way that I can understand and cope with. Take notice of your dreams. Take notice of small little happenings around you. Little things that are moved, a song suddenly playing on the radio as you think of him. He'll talk to you in the little things that mattered to you. Do not give up hope. He's with you and he will guide you.
whitebuffalo (guest)
14 years ago (2008-04-03)
I am so sorry for the loss of your dad, Believer.
I am sorry, I get a whole different take on this experience than the others seem to have. For that I apologize only as I can not follow the same thought pattern, I have tried, but something just keeps telling me that I need to tell you this.
While you think that your dad did not visit you, HE DID. As you lay on your friends lap, he positioned himself directly behind you and your friend. When you finally got up the nerve to see what the others were looking at, you SAW that it was "all misty behind" you all.
For your FRIENDS, they needed to see a full bodied apparition. They did not know your dad. You had talked about him and they knew how very close you were (almost more like best friends, wasn't it?)
YOU were still in the midst of full blown grief. You were emotionally unable to see what it is that they were able to, so your dad, in the loving all consuming thought of protecting you, (as he often did) allowed you to see him AS A MIST. If he had not wanted you to know he had visited, the mist would have disappeared just as quickly as the full bodied apparition.
"They say he looked content and happy..." He is. Completely and wholly happy. He is secure in the knowledge that you have such thoughtful and caring friends that were there at the time that you needed them the most, and no one ever let you alone during that time. He still loves you, and always will. And he STILL stands behind you in silent support of all of your endeavors.
Thank you.
killingkilgore (3 stories) (35 posts)
14 years ago (2008-04-01)
Hi Believer,
I hate to sound like a broken record, but I agree with the others. Maybe he just wanted you to know that he's there, watching over you but didn't feel that you were ready to actually see him. After reading this and the comments it brought tears to my eyes as well. I think someday your father may feel you're ready to actually see him, and in the mean time I'm sure you can talk to him and he'll hear you. So sorry for your loss.
On a lighter side, you say you roasted marshmellows over a candle? I tried that once and it tasted awful! Lol. How did that work out for you? You don't have to answer that. Anyway, thank you so much for sharing. 😊
KimSouthO (27 stories) (1960 posts)
14 years ago (2008-03-31)
Please heed the words of Martin and rhodes, and the others. I am certain there was no intention on your fathers part to hurt you or to have this seem and unfair situation. As he passed, he wanted to look at you one final time, the time he choose your friends happened to see him, you were sheilded from this to avoid causing further trauma to you. He wanted to continue on his journey to be with the Lord and to se you briefly on his way made this passing easier.

I am very sorry for your loss!

God Bless!
Believer (1 stories) (3 posts)
14 years ago (2008-03-31)
Hi ChrisB. Thank you for your kind words. This happened about 4 years ago and since then there was nothing. Whilst reading your words, it sounded so easy to pray and talk to him, but then I think about the fact that it's been so long... And then I just feel mirable and feel like not trying. Almost like I'm waisting my time.
It's also not easy to believe he's there if I didn't see him.
What all of you said makes so much sence.
I'm taking everyone's comments to heart.
I suppose I haven't tried hard enough
ChrisB (6 stories) (1515 posts)
14 years ago (2008-03-31)
Hi Believer. I am so sorry that your father passed away. I think that your father showed himself to everyone because he wants you to believe. If he had showed himself to you, you might have thought this was a dream or your just imaginating all of this. But he showed him slef to your friends. You have proof that your father is well. I think he was trying to say how much he loves you and misses you but he is always beside you. Even when you were on vacation he came to have a look at you. Try praying. I know how hard its for you not to see your father. But you can talk to him. He will always listen to you. Maybe you will see him but maybe you wont. But you have to know that he loves you very much and he always listens to you. Someday you will meet him. Everyone will meet the ones ho have gone to a better place. But know he will always be with you. In the good times and the bad times. You will feel him. And that's a great feeling. Be patient. And you will find your own answer. I hope to hear from you soon and take care
Believer (1 stories) (3 posts)
14 years ago (2008-03-31)
Thnk you Martin and rhodes for your comments. You brought tears to my eyes. I never thought of this way. It surely changes all the negative thoughts I had about his appearance
rhodes68 (14 stories) (1596 posts)
14 years ago (2008-03-29)
Hi Believer and thank you for your story. My deepest sympathy for your dad's loss.

I will agree with Martin who said that your dad might have hesitated to show himself to you to avoid the emotional strain that he would cause to you. Maybe he knew you weren't ready to see him yourself. And yet, there could be another explanation that he was discouraged by your friends' terrified faces and withdrew not wishing to create more panic.

If I were you, I'd talk to him, let him know that you miss him and love him. I would tell him that I did get his message that he's well and know that he's indeed watching over me. It takes a great deal of love to bring our beloved ones back for even a short visit just to reassure us that they are ok and ease our pain over their loss. I 'm afraid I know that from personal experience.

Take care

Martin (602 posts) mod
14 years ago (2008-03-29)
Hi Believer, I think that sometimes our emotional reactions can interfere with the energy required for a ghost to manifest itself on the physical plane, maybe he knew that and wanted to be around you, but without the drama that might have occured if you saw him directly, instead of being told later on by your friends. Just a thought. Or maybe it's preparation for another real, final visit.

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