First of all I just want to say that I cannot believe I forgot about this. My pregnancy was pretty much a blur to me and I can't really remember much that happened during my pregnancy.
What I remember most was the beginning of the pregnancy. This story takes place in my ex-boyfriend's house. I was about 2 months pregnant and I was deadly ill. I hadn't eaten more than a cracker a day for a month. I was in and out of the hospital due to dehydration. I couldn't drink anything, because I would throw it up; even water.
I couldn't even sleep in my own bedroom, because the smell of my blankets would make me vomit. I didn't see my boyfriend for a month, even though we lived in the same house. I couldn't stand to be around him and I couldn't stand his smell, again, I would vomit if he was in my presence. I stayed in the guest room for the months I was ill and didn't leave the room unless I had to use the bathroom.
His mother took care of me. She fed me if she could and she would often bring me crushed ice. Daniel, my ex, was never aloud to see me. I was more depressed than I can ever remember being in my entire life. I missed Dan's touch and I couldn't stand being away from him. I hated the fact that he was living in the same house and I could hear his voice outside my bedroom, but was never able to see or hold him. I didn't speak to anyone for the most part except his mom. I didn't even speak to my own family.
I was always to sick to talk. Just remembering the way I felt makes me want to cry. I felt like I was going crazy from being locked in that room for two months. I talked to myself. I couldn't watch TV. The television mad me sick too. I would have nightmares every night in that room. I always dreamt about an old man watching me sleep. I would wake up screaming.
There was nights when I couldn't sleep because of the cold draft. I always thought it was coming from the a/c vent, but I new that the a/c wasn't on. It was November and St. Louis is very cold in November. There would be nights that I didn't sleep, because I was to afraid to. I would feel someone sit on my bed, but no one would ever really be there. One day I got out of the bed and started going through the closet, because I was curious.
I found a box full of medical supplies. I didn't know where it came from, but I just brushed it off. I kept going through the things and found old clothes that looked like it belonged to a man. The clothes smelled old and I had to put it down. I felt really sick and next to me was a trash can. I began to throw up in the trash can. I began to cry very loud. I was screaming.
Then, the wardrobe door opened and a blanket fell out. The door then shut. I stopped crying gradually since I was distracted. I just knelt on the floor and stared at the blanket. It was a red, quilted blanket, with embroidery. I picked it up, opened the wardrobe, and placed it on one of the shelves. I went back to the bed, got under the covers and fell asleep. It was about noon when I fell asleep. I would always be home alone from 5am-7pm. Since Dan went to school, then work.
His mother came every night at about 11PM to check on me. In the middle of my slumber I woke up. I was drenched in sweat, so I kicked the blankets off me and on to the floor. I lay on my side facing the wall and again cried. Like I said I was so depressed about being lonely and sick. Then I fell asleep.
I woke up later to a loud slam. I jumped up and found the red quilted blanket on me. I then looked at the time and it was 6PM. I got up and looked in the mirror. My face was pale and I was shaking. I opened the bedroom door and fell to the floor at the threshold. I began to crawl towards the kitchen. I was dehydrated. I felt like I was dying. Later I woke up to Dan shaking me asking if I was okay. I never answered. He told me my lips were blue and I was very pale.
He then asked if I had eaten or drank anything. I never answered. I knew he was talking to me, but his voice sounded so far away. I just continued to lay there lifeless. I was fully conscious about everything that was going on. Dan walked away and came back with some water. I sipped the water with a straw. Then, he carried me to the car.
Next thing I know, we were on our way to the E.R. Dan started talking to me about the situation. He asked many questions, but I never answered. I kept thinking about the red quilt from before I passed out. Finally, I spoke. I said, "Dan, who lived in your house before you? I mean, who has slept in the room I am living in?"
He said, "Well I use to sleep in that room, but when my grandpa moved in, I had to go to the room down the hall. That room was the best for him to stay in since it's next door to my mom's room. My mom took care of him care of him in that room when he was sick."
I asked Dan where his grandpa was now. I began to throw up blue liquid at that moment. I was given a zip-lock bag to throw up in.
Then, Dan answered, "He's buried in St. Mathew's Cemetery down the street.
I then asked why he died and where he died. Daniel answered that his grandfather had cancer. One night, Dan's mother found him lying dead next to his vomit. I began to cry and asked why they have been letting me sleep in that room. I told Dan that I missed him, but couldn't sleep with him.
That night at the hospital they prescribed me a medication that is actually made for cancer patients, but it would help my nausea. That only worked for a while. During this while, Dan slept in the guest room with me since I still couldn't sleep in our bedroom. After a few nights, Dan asked if we could start sleeping in the living room. He ended up getting creeped out in that room.
He would describe feeling watched. So we started sleeping in the living room, until finally later I got better. After the two months I was able to sleep in our bedroom again. When the baby was born, we turned the guest room into her bedroom. I had a monitor with a camera on it.
Some nights, I would see movement aside of her crib. I would send Dan to go check in her room. This happened so many times. On so many occasions, I thought we were being burglarized. Dan and I would stay up staring at the screen of our TV which was showing what was going on in my daughter's bedroom. Her toys would go off and sometimes we could hear shuffling around and see rapid movements.
Dan checked on the baby every time, but never found anything. We finally came to the conclusion that it was his grandfather's spirit looking after our daughter. It never harmed her, so we just let him be. I will admit, I was afraid of him, since I never really go to meet him.