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Advice Needed With More Strange Events 2


In the comments of my last occurrence I said that I am thick-headed sometimes (all of the time) and needed a sledgehammer dropped on my head instead of subtle clues to get the gist of messages. This was in response to my father appearing to me last month, I was trying to figure out why after all these years he would; I found out.

After my father passed away, my mother moved in with my older sister. This past October of 2007, my mother's health took a drastic turn for the worst. She was diagnosed with lymphoma and fought a loosing battle that lasted until this past Tuesday, 9/15/08. I now believe that my father came to let me know he was here to take her from her pain.

My parents were married for 51 years and until the day she lapsed into a coma, my mother said it wasn't enough time. While I'm sad that she is gone, I am glad my father came for her and I know that they are together again and happy.

My sister's youngest daughter's birthday is the day my mother passed. She was so upset she kept saying, "She is not supposed to die, it's my birthday." The only thing that comforted her was when my sister told her that we could celebrate her birthday and the fact that Grandaddy and Grandmamma were together again and happy. My youngest, 4 years old, keeps asking if Grandmamma is going to be dead forever and ever, and my oldest, 14 years old, is still devastated by her passing. I sort of wish my father could have prepared them, though it might have scared them to see Grandaddy.

While I'm glad to have seen my father again, I still wish I was sensitive enough to have asked him all of the questions that I have. My father was a very good person who loved us all. He had to work two or three jobs, full and part time, just to support us, so I never really had the opportunity to get to know my father. He was career military and retired shortly after my mother had my middle sister. That's when he had to work all those hours to provide for all three kids and my mother. I just wish I could find out more about him and his time in the military so I could have something to tell my kids, especially the youngest two.

Thank you to all who posted comments, I cannot begin to tell you all how grateful I am and how much you all helped me. God bless all.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Jmak, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Jmak (6 stories) (156 posts)
14 years ago (2008-10-01)
Hi Surlay2,
Thank you for your suggestion; I'll have to try that. I'm sorry to hear of the troubles you are having with your husband; sometimes marriage can be difficult. I hope that everything works out for you. Best wishes and God bless. 😊
Surlay2 (2 stories) (13 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-29)
I wanted to let you know. Before you go to bed, ask them a question. I do this a lot because me and my husband are going through a roough time. I ask me grandmother and my grandfather to help me get through things and I will even ask them to show me if my husband is doing things behind my back I fhe is lying... And most of the time I get answeres... Recently he had lied to me and for some odd reason my hubby left his phone at home, his phone is his life. I woke up inthe middle of sleeping and walked straight to his phone and found out the truth about somethings I had been asking him about. There not trying to break us apart or nothing but showing me his wrong doings. And I thank them so much for that. I know there watching out for me. So it won't hurt to ask, he might come back to you in a dream. Just pay attention.
Jmak (6 stories) (156 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-26)
Hello again rhodes68,
It's good to be back, I must admit I missed spending time here with all of you. Thank you for your insight into this, I always look forward to reading your comments, they are most welcome. Best wishes to you my friend and God bless. 😊
rhodes68 (14 stories) (1596 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-26)
Jmak, it's realy nice having you back but I'm really really sorry for your loss! Like you said, at least she has stopped suffering and is once again reunited with your father.

I was very touched by Chris' comment although I should have expected it from such 'a gentle heart'. He's telling you something wise;you must always remember that your father's greatest achievement was his family-you! He was an amazing father who sacrificed what others might have not to keep you safe, content, sufficient. Tell your kids of THAT man-the man you so proudly love, the man who taught you HOW to love!

May they rest in peace.
Jmak (6 stories) (156 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-25)
Once again I find myself deeply in debeted to all of you. Thank you all so much for your kind heart touching comments. I do keep reassuring my kids that their grandparents are not gone but are watching over them as their guardian angels. FinanceMajor, ChrisB, and JamesRobiscoe you all always give such sound, sage advise. I wish you all the very best; autumnsmommy it's good to hear a new voice added to what I have come to realize is a fantastic community my best wishes to you also. May God bless all of you. 😁
JamesRobiscoe (419 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-25)
Jmak--If I may add my two cents to the excellent insights already provided... My heart is touched by your children's sorrow, and if you believe in a place of reward for our actions here on earth, you might assure your children that dead does not mean extinguished, gone out like a light, but a changing of place. Like a vacation that never ends. Their grandparents can be with them in their thoughts and dreams and in their hearts, and they won't be gone, just out of sight in the usual way. And who knows, maybe they shall see them at some point in the future. I feel you're as good a father as your own. God bless your endeavors.
ChrisB (6 stories) (1515 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-25)
Im very sorry for your loss. It is always said to hear that someone must leave us. But isn't it a great feeling to know that this person is ina better place? They will always have an eye on us. I believe that your father was a great man. He worked and did his best for the family not himself. Tell your children how devoted he was to his family. That he would give his dinner to you if you were hungry. I think they would love to hear stories like that. A true hero of the Family. Thanks again. I hope to hear from you soon and take care
FinanceMajor (1 stories) (64 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-25)
I know from experience the hardest thing is to say goodbye, but your parents are together again and I am sure their happiness is immense. The hardest part is to put off our emotions of not having them in our lives, but then thinking that way is somewhat selfish on our part. Oh well we are only human.

The spirit of your parents are stronger now in the spiritual world, and above all else wherever they are, they are with each other.
Every one leaves this world, some lives are short while others are longer.

God grant us the Serenity to accepts the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

autumnsmommy (4 stories) (98 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-24)
I am soooo sorry to hear of your loss. It must have been comforting for you to know that it was your father that came to get though. I was six when I lost my grandfather that I was extremely close to and to this day he still comes back at times when I need him the most. Sit one night while you are alone or everyone has gone to bed and ask the quetions that you have been longing to ask. He might give you answers in subtle ways or you just might be surpirsed and he might answer.

It's always comforting to know that they are together again. My mother tells me all the time about the problems that my grandfather went through after my grandmother passed (The Grandmotehr That I Never Knew). I remember how at peace he was knowing that he was going to see her again right before he passed. I got to witness the happiness on the day that my daughter was born. They may come and see you again and if they do just enjoy the moments, and remember how great they were when they were alive.

God Bless and best wishes.

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