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A's Mom's Voice


January 10, 2010

The web doesn't seem to have enough information on the experiences of old people seeing ghosts. I had spent some time scouring the web, and came up with very little. I'd like to know more about this phenomenon. Why does it happen? How often does it happen? To whom does it happen more often?

My girlfriend's father, A., is very old. Lately he's been seeing strange things such as phantom children and loved ones who have been long dead. Sometimes these dreams or, perhaps, visions had seemed so real to him that he asked if we had seen them too. We told him that he was merely confusing dreams with reality while in the process of waking up. It was a practical, no-nonsense explanation and, being a practical guy himself, A. Accepted it.

I wouldn't have believed that something uncanny was actually taking place if I hadn't had some kind of verification, and I may have gotten it last weekend.

Since the death of his wife three and a half years ago, we often stay at A's house on weekends. We sleep on a foldout couch in the den. But on this day I had just painted the basement floor, and the odor wafting into the den was so strong we were forced to move to one of the corner bedrooms upstairs - at the opposite end of the hall from A's bedroom.

Sometime during the middle of the night, we were startled awake by a knocking on the door, followed by A. Entering the room appearing confused and shaken. "Ma?" he said. "What's wrong?" He sounded like a scared child. I threw the blanket off me, got up, and went to him.

I put my hand on his shoulder and said that everything was fine. "You were dreaming," I said.

"No!" he shouted. "I saw my mother. She was standing by my bed!"

A. Hadn't known that his daughter and I relocated to the upstairs bedroom. By that time, he had been asleep for a couple of hours. When he asked why we were in the bedroom instead of the den, I told him about the paint fumes and that it was keeping us from sleeping. Once again, I reassured him that everything was okay.

The following morning, I asked him what his mother said. He told me she said something was wrong. She didn't say what - only that something was wrong.

What I find interesting is that, according to A., he never had a dream or supposed visitation with a message as urgent as this before, and it happened to coincide with the only time we ever slept in either corner bedroom. What's more, the room my girlfriend and I had decided to sleep in is, in fact, the same room that, decades ago, A's mother used to stay in whenever she visited for a few days. She had been very fond of it.

It is also from this room that A. Said for months he's been hearing her calling him. Even with his door closed, hearing aids removed, and across thirty feet of dark hallway, he hears her.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, ddesimd, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

ndrasmith (1 posts)
8 years ago (2013-10-28)
Hello ddesimd, I am so sorry for your/your girlfriend's loss. I see your post was a few years old, but I had to respond. I've worked as a hospice nurse for several years and I knew what was happening before you got to it. Many people who are dying or will die soon get visits from loved ones who have already died, and these visits become more frequent and more intense the closer they get to dying. Some people think they are getting ready to go on a journey, others are perfectly lucid about going to heaven or going "home". In hospice it's called "Near Death Awareness." You can read more about it in hospice books and websites. The dying process is always sad, but sometimes there is something magical about these visits. Some of us believe that loved ones do come back to help us cross over.
BethWishes (2 posts)
12 years ago (2010-05-25)
Seconds before my grandma died she said the name Melvin which is her late son that died 40 years before at the age of 7 I think as you get older you start to hear and see things not just because they old maybe because they know that death is catching up to them if you get what I mean...
ddesimd (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2010-02-19)
We had decided to relocate into one of the upstairs bedrooms hours after A had gone to bed. At no point did we say we were going to do it. We just did it. It was an impromptu decision.

His bedroom door was closed, and we were very quiet going up the stairs. There was no way that he could have known we were in there.

Three weeks after this event, A passed away at age 92. He was a recipient of the Bronze Star for acts of bravery under combat during WWII. He was a hero. It's hard to accept that he's gone.
whitebuffalo (guest)
12 years ago (2010-01-22)
Please do not take offence to what I am about to add to this discussion.
A little background, just so that you know where my thoughts are as I read through this account:
I have worked with (and FOR) the elderly for over eight years. I have had personalized training by our state, and additional schooling by my organization that goes well beyond what our state requires. I have held my current position for the past two. I work with people who have a variety of backgrounds, and varying religions.
The easiest way to tell you WHO I work with/for, is to say that I am in the "melting pot" of this "retirement community". I work for a not for profit organization that specializes in elderly care (emotional, spiritual, physical, mental etc). There is a bit more to my professional background, but I will not bore you with my resume.
You are right. The web says very little about the elderly and their relationship with those who have gone before them. It seems to be (speaking from experience, and through a personal frustration of mine) a generalized thought that those who DO see, hear and FEEL those who are gone have an "umbrella condition" referred to as Dementia.
It is called an umbrella condition as there are many, MANY conditions that are categorized under the same heading.
People who have "dementia with Lewy bodies" often have very vivid, highly detailed "hallucinations".
The most interesting part of THAT (at least for me) is that they may, or may NOT have prior knowledge of what they are hallucinating about, and yet have all the correct FACTS about a situation (case in point, "A" KNEW you were in that room that his Mother used to occupy when visiting. He KNEW there was something wrong).
MOST of MY clients who have Lewy do NOT need their glasses, hearing aides OR mobility help while in the midst of an "episode".
May I suggest that if he has NOT had an evaluation, that you go ahead and schedule him one.
Now, that was the clinical view.

On the other hand, there is a small group of us in this field who believe (not THINK, mind you, but BELIEVE) that the elderly who are "one foot in", if you catch what I am saying, actually HAVE experiences with personal "guides" in the latter part of their life.
In fact, I tell about one such instance here on this site in the retelling of A Client's Vision (
I, personally, BELIVE that we all have guides and are in their presence on a daily basis. Before we "know" that is not a possibility, according to the generalised public (as in, the very young) we have regular visitations, and even conversations with them. Once we drop our inhibitions, and begin to ignore what societies stand IS on the Spiritual, we go BACK to having a very real relationship WITH our guides.
Whoever they may be.
I apologise for the length of this, but there are at least two very real possibilities of what MAY be happening here.
Thank you.
ddesimd (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2010-01-15)
I'm very grateful for everyone's posts. From what I gather after reading them, people seem to become more - in psychic terms - "sensitive" as they come closer to dying. If that's true, what causes it? Any theories?
blue_raven80 (13 stories) (338 posts)
12 years ago (2010-01-14)
a few years before my grandfather died he is like that. He sees his sibling who died 10 years ago. He even calls for my uncle who is his favorite. A few days before he died he told me that he saw his mother in the living room and telling him its time to go. After 3 days he died in a coma. Might be a premonition for A.
Jennifer40 (20 stories) (202 posts)
12 years ago (2010-01-14)
My grandmother died in 1994 and she said just a few hours before her death that some people she knew had visited her. My mother asked her who they were and my grandmother replied that they were no one that she (my mother) knew. My grandmother was with it to the end but we found it very interesting that she mentioned this only a few hours before she died.

Thanks for sharing,
Jennifer ❤
frmSTP (2 stories) (11 posts)
12 years ago (2010-01-14)
I've noticed this when my great grandma was nearing the end. She saw things that werent there and deceased love ones as well. I don't have an explaination to that. I guess they just become more sensitive to that stuff when older.

My recently passed grandma saw her deceased husband the night before passing away as well. I take it as their loved ones coming to help them cross over and welcome them.
bubba (10 posts)
12 years ago (2010-01-14)
This is a very good, well written story. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Hopefully the only thing "wrong" was the fact that you were sleeping in her room. She probably didn't feel threatened, just that something was different in "her" room, so to speak. I am curious to hear if her voice eminates from the room in the future. Thanks for sharing this, I certainly hope A ISN'T stressed from this experience.

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