I'm going to tell of two separate recent incidents that I don't believe to be related.
The first is the case of the disappearing ironing board.
The board itself is rather unremarkable; an old table top version, roughly 3 feet long and 1.5 feet wide, constructed of metal. I've had it roughly 18 years, and it was old when I got it. It generally sits against the wall of the hall closet directly below the shelf holding it's partner, the iron.
I was prepping to do a book signing, and decided that I should press the shirt I was going to wear. I was already nervous, what with having to interact with bunch of strangers, while on the flip side worried that no one would show. And you just KNOW you will be being judged by how you look; so wrinkles are a definite no-no. I go to get out the board, only it's no where to be seen. I moved things, looking behind and under. It simply was not there.
Thankfully, I grew up old school and ironed the shirt on the kitchen table. Seriously, I was such a nervous Nellie, I would have ironed a Tee shirt.
The signing came and went. Nearly a month later, in the wee morning hours, I was stumbling, blurry eyed through the living room to the bathroom and tripped over that ironing board! WTH!?! How did it get there? Where had it been? One of those things that just make you wonder.
***
The second event was much more unnerving for me, and took place a few weeks ago. This particular spring has been down right EVIL when it comes to allergy sufferers. So much so that the usual sinus meds have little to no effect. The news blames it on climate change, all I know is my sinuses have been driving me nuts. High pressure head/facial pain, constant mucus dripping causing me to cough. I went as far as shoving a wedge under the mattress at the head to help with the drainage at night, so I might get some rest.
I was having the oddest dream where I was swimming under dark, murky water. I became disoriented; which way was up? I needed to get air. I was starting to drown - part of me remained logical; this was a dream. I can't swim, so obviously I wouldn't be swimming in reality. Just breath. But I can't! I can't seem to get any air. I'm starting to panic. I'm drowning. My lungs feel fit to burst. I hear someone call my name.
The voice was so loud - like right in my face loud, that my eyes flew open. I struggle into a sitting position and begin projectile vomiting mucus. It's literally running from my nose and mouth, making quite the mess. My lungs were burning from lack of air. I sat in the mess, gulping air, forcing myself to breath in through the nose and out the mouth so not to hyperventilate.
Needless to say, I never went back to bed that night.
I have to wonder - from the way I felt on waking, and the amount of mucus, I was literally drowning in my bed, but was the voice a product of my subconscious or was it one of the friendlies, seeing my distress waking me? Guess I'll never know 100% for certain.
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