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I Think I'll Call Her Cyndi

 

In 2006, I lost a very close friend to cancer. She was more than a friend; she was the only person in this world who knew all my secrets and loved me anyway. I loved her very much and miss her daily.

One Saturday afternoon not long after she died, my little boy and I were taking a ride and were coming up to where Cyndi worked. As we got closer, I started tearing up, just realizing how much I really missed her. Dalton was in his carseat playing with a stuffed kitten. As we got to the entrance to where Cyndi worked, he said "I think I'll call my kitten Cyndi, Mommy. I think Cyndi's a good name." With tears in my eyes and throat, I said "I think you're right, Little Man. Cyndi is a good name."

Dalton didn't know Cyndi, and I'd never spoken her name to him. After I had Dalton we moved and Cyndi and I lost touch, something I regret so much. It wasn't until I learned she had cancer that we were in contact again. You don't realize how much you love someone until you know you're going to lose them. There are still things today I wish I could talk to her about. Sometimes I do, but I know she's not here. It just makes me feel a little bit better. Anyway, Cyndi is not a name Dalton was familiar with. We had no friends, relatives, neighbors, preschool children with that name. All I can think is he must have picked it up from me. I don't know that he was reading my mind. I think perhaps he was reading my energy.

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Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
4 months ago (2017-06-24)
MAS - this still frequently happens with my son and me. And yes, I miss Cyndi terribly. No matter how many years pass, you never stop missing someone you love.

Thanks for reading and commenting ☺
MAS814 (5 posts)
 
4 months ago (2017-06-24)
Literally emotional story, Sad to know about your friend. This happens with us in a lot matters words are in our mouth and someone else say same thing, a song start ringing in our mind and after few moments you hear same song from some distance means I don't know why this happen but I myself get this feeling many times. Want to know do you still miss Cyndi?
geetha50 (15 stories) (986 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-05-12)
You said:
There are still things today I wish I could talk to her about. Sometimes I do, but I know she's not here.

I say:
You are wrong in the aspect that your friend is not here and can't hear you. Just because you don't feel her around you means that she is at peace and has crossed over (I think everyone should be happy for) but that doesn't mean that she can't hear you. We have read many stories on this site where loved ones come back to help in a time of need. I think talking to her like you would if she were alive would not only take some stress off of you but it also will bring some peace to know that your friend somehow heard you (if even she doesn't response back to you directly). Who knows your friend probably would come back to you in your dreams or some other form to help you out in some way.

As for your son, he has a gift in a league of his own. A friend of mine who has the same gifts as you gave birth to her son. She would always tell me how her son has the same abilities as her but also has abilities she doesn't process. For example, he can sense a stronger aura than his mother and he also an empath. Like you, my friend lost two children to miscarriages (one was caused by a car accident and other due to her breast cancer). She had Matthew 7 years after she lost her second child and also beat her cancer. Even with Matthew, it wasn't easy. She ended up giving birth to him one month earlier because of stress caused by anxiety. After that it was a long recovery for Matthew because he was born with water in his lungs. Personally, this is enough to give any mother a heart attack.

Anyways, my point is I think your son has a stronger sense of ability than you and I think that's why he was able to pick up on your friend's name. I have seen some of the things my friend has gone though with her son (stories for another time) and it could be jaw dropping because it's some kind of miracle to see something like this but at the same time scary because it just goes to prove that we don't know anything about this world.

Anyways, I hope to hear more stories from and about you and your family. ❤
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
7 years ago (2011-03-20)
Peter - this one is very special to me and brings tears to my eyes every time I think about that day. I miss Cyndi terribly, but will always have memories and this one is special.

Thanks for reading this one, Peter ❤. You going to share your sis in law and her daughter's story, if they wouldn't mind?
Petersspirit (4 stories) (144 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-03-20)
Hey Miracles51031,

I'm sory to read you lost your friend. But I was so moved by your son's decition right on that moment when you drove up to the place where she used to work... It reminded me of something similar which had happened between my sis in law and her second daughter. Bless you!

Peter, ❤
bandet888 (78 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-06-23)
Wow that's spooky (in a warm way though) that your son wanted to name his cat the exact name of your lost love without knowing that your lost love had that name! I'm sorry for your lost! I myself lost my father last october. I was living with him. Now I live alone at the same house but my neibors are nice to me. I found him dead laying on the basement floor. He was cleaning the floor I wished he asked me to do it. I didn't know he was going to clean the floor nor did I know what would happen.
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
8 years ago (2010-04-11)
hope4ever - thank you. And I may take you up on that email offer to share something that I was fortunate enough to be part of. I was able to help someone cross over and it was the most unbelievable experience of my life. You're right, there is no mistaking it when it happens. It's beautiful. I'd share it here, but there are so many skeptics that the memory would get lost among the bickering back and forth.
Thank you.
hope4ever (4 stories) (75 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-04-11)
I'm glad that we share similar thoughts on things, so many times in life things happen and we write them off as our mind playing tricks on us, and that isn't the case.

It's good you are open with Jerrica and Dalton, so they don't feel they are crazy when things happen to them. As you were, I was raised that spirits are something you do not speak of, otherwise you are called crazy and given meds and locked up. I kept my mouth shut for the longest of times about what I'd see or hear. And that just about drove me insane itself. My parents are more open to it now, but my father is still not competely believing in it.

As for your friend, Cyndi, tell her that you want her to go, not because you are mad at her, but because you want her to be where she belongs. Make sure you tell her that you'll see her again someday, when it's your time. Remind her you love her and miss her. But tell her it's time to move on. I know you'll feel it when she leaves, a sense of relief will come rushing over you like a wave of water. Don't let go, just let her be where she needs now to be.

I haven't given my email to many, but if you want to talk about anything, I hear I'm an exceptional listener because I listen and I don't interupt and I truely always care about what's being told to me. Here it is kalakoala2 [at] yahoo.com

I know it messed up the at sign, it always does, but you know what it means.

And as always, thanks for sharing the memory 😁

PS I don't mind you using "memory" either 😜
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
8 years ago (2010-04-09)
Hope - first I want to thank you for providing me with a word I've been struggling to find - memory. Whenever I refer to something I submit or I comment on someone else's "story", I hate using that word. I feel the same way you do. Stories imply made up and on this site, we're supposed to be sharing true experiences. So thank you for using that word. If you don't mind, I'm going to use it too, because these are memories. Be they good or bad, funny or scary; they are our memories.
As much as many people disagree with me, I don't hide this from my kids. We are very open in our home and our experiences are talked about when they happen. I don't know whether or not you read my profile, but when I was growing up, this kind of stuff wasn't talked about. When Jerrica was 14, I shared with her most of my experiences and then she told me she'd been seeing and hearing things. From then on it's been normal conversation with the 3 of us.
No, you haven't told me, specifically, that you have the gift of speaking with spirits, but I have no reason not to believe you. And you're right, I'm never going to be ready to let her go. But I don't want to keep her here. She needs to go on. I love her, but I don't want her to stay her.
It makes me feel good to hear you think I'm a smart person from reading my other stories. I'm more used to people thinking I'm crazy! So that's always nice to hear.
Thanks, hope4ever, thanks.
hope4ever (4 stories) (75 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-04-09)
I have been in a similar situation with a friend of mine, I found him annoying at school and 4days before school was supposed to start for the new year... He got a in a car wreck and died. It devistated me, we weren't the closest of friends but knowing his life was cut so short really was a pain I had never known before. And loosing her to cancer had to be so much harder, hearing it in her voice and so on, I can't imagine it. But I get the feeling that she is still around, and if I haven't said before I do have the gift of speaking with spirits. You don't seem like you're ready to let her go, and she will be able to feel that. As for Dalton, keep an eye on him. If he's picking up on spirits at such a young age, then he is very possibly a sensitive. However children many times are able to see spirits because they haven't been molded yet to not believe in them.

I already know you to be a smart person from reading other of your stories, I hope that you find peace with your friend's death. Greving is a rough process to go through. But you are a strong one, and I can tell that too. You'll make it, and talking to her does help. I talk to my friend all the time, and yell at him sometimes too for what happened. Even if she isn't there, you get a sense that she hears it. She knows you miss her, and she knows its hard.

Again, thanks for sharing the memory. (I say memory instead of story because stories are thought to be untrue)
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
8 years ago (2010-03-27)
aussiedaz - yes, cancer is horrible and she was such a beautiful person. I don't think it was a coincidence that he said Cyndi's name at that exact time either. I know it was meant to comfort me, no matter whose Guardian was whispering to him. It was exactly what I needed to hear.
Thank you.
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-03-27)
Hi Miracles, cancer is such a cruel disease but at least Cyndi is in a better place now and I have a sneaky suspicion that it was no coincident that dalton mentioned her name, There are guardians who are by our side and I have a feeling one was whispering to dalton just at the right time, thank you for sharing your story take care, God bless.
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
8 years ago (2010-03-25)
"Our friendship ends not with his death, only with my own."
Vulcan10, I couldn't explain it any better than that.
vulcan10 (5 stories) (321 posts)
+1
8 years ago (2010-03-25)
You said that,"One Saturday afternoon not long after she died, my little boy and I were taking a ride and were coming up to where Cyndi worked." which means you couldn't have been to far from her work location. Since you were in touch with her again after you found out that she had cancer, your son probably heard you mention her name. Surely at some point prior to his naming the kitten you had to utter her name at least once. And kids are very observant. I just finished reading an article about how obersvant they are of their parents at a very young age. I also lost my very good child hood friend, the closest I ever had. I've had several friends during my life, mostly aquaintances if the truth be known, but very few true friends, and he was it. I have to as yet make another such as he, nor will I probably before my passing. It still saddens me a great deal and makes me sick at my stomach when I think on it to much. When I found out, I was reading something, I don't remember what, and the writer I don't recall either, but it fit the way I was feeling then and now. It went something like,"Our friendship ends not with his death, only with my own." Meaning, as long as I'm still alive to remember, then it still exists, this friendship of ours.
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
8 years ago (2010-03-25)
Zetafornow - bless your heart. Saying "I'm sorry for your loss" just doesn't get it sometimes, especially when it's your mom. But I truly am sorry. I'm blessed to still have mine, as much as she aggravates me sometimes!😜
Thank you for the nice comments. They are truly appreciated.
Marjie
zetafornow (4 stories) (447 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-03-25)
Hi Miracles:
This is a great story and thanks for sharing. I believe our loved ones can come through to us and for us in many ways and I believe this is a great example of that. I lost my mother not too long ago and she was my best friend just like Cyndi was to you. I have experienced many ways that she has come through and it is always comforting.
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
8 years ago (2010-03-25)
Darkness, thank you so much for your kind words. I lost such a wonderful friend.

I was so touched and honored that Dalton wanted to name his kitten after her.

There've been many times that I long to see her or hear her voice. Of all the spirits I've had in my life, the ones I'd like to have aren't here. I know that it's best for Cyndi that she didn't linger and being selfish about such things doesn't do anyone any good. I just relive the times we had.

Again, Dan, thanks for suggesting Cyndi came through Dalton for me. I'd like to believe that. Maybe she knew how much I needed her at the time and that was her farewell to me.
DARKNESS (3 stories) (2022 posts)
+1
8 years ago (2010-03-25)
Hi Miracles51031 this was avery touching story the relationship that you and Cindi shared, I do believe that it was no coincidence that your son chose that name. Past love ones can show there presence to us in a whole range of differant ways and it is obvious Cyndi chose to come through your son. I would take comfort knowing that she is aknowledging you and obviously cares about you. All the best.

Thank you for sharing

Dan

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