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Caring For An Older Women And A Ghost?


I am a caregiver for an older women and I work 12 hour shifts in her home. There is always someone with her 24/7. There are a total of 4 caregivers working with her. Her husband passed away in 2008 and she has no children. So she is pretty lonely. Well when I first started working there in Feb of 2010 I could sense there was a spirit in the house. I have been able to feel spirits my whole life and have seen many of them so I know the feeling.

There are 2 rooms I HATE going in! What we call the 'back room' and the other is 'Richards (her husband) party room'. Her and Richard built the house in the early 1960s and have lived there forever. They where/are very wealthy and have a BIG house (the house even has an elevator- but no one uses it). Her house is like a big maze! One room leads to another, which leads to another, which leads to another... The 'back room' is past her bedroom. There is a door in her room that looks like a closet door, but when you open it, it leads to the washer and dryer, then there is another door that leads to another room. It looks like a bedroom, but it is used for storage now. There are a few boxes, clothes, a safe, and a folded up hospital bed (from when Richard was sick) in there.

That room is ALWAYS super cold! The rest of the house will be like 68-70 degrees, then you go into that room (even if the door has been open all day) and it will be like 30 degrees in there! No matter what we do; open the blinds and windows, go in and out of there, turn up the heater, we can NEVER get that room to warm up! Anyways, the other room I hate going in is 'Richards's party room'. When they built the house they had LOTS of friends and Richard designed this big room for when they have get together. It has a full bar, couches, tables, a fire stove, a big fish tank... It's got everything! Even a bathroom just for that room. I was told that room was his favorite of all the rooms and he spent a lot of time in there. Well when Richard passed the women I care for did not get rid of ANY of his things! His coat is still hanging by the front door. His shoes are still where he left them! All of his clothes are still hanging up. I am not 100% sure if that has to do with the activity in the house. But I feel like it does for some reason...

Richard became ill in 2007 and died a year later. Well there are some days where the women I care for will sleep for like 2 days straight (part of her illness) so there is not much to do when she sleeps other than clean and after a while there is nothing left to clean. Her house is so big that we have baby monitors so we can hear her in her bedroom.

(This happened on my 1st week on the job) - When she is sleeping we are allowed to nap. So one day I turned up the baby monitor and lay down on the couch for a while and dozed off. I have noticed whenever I fall asleep in her house, I have really odd dreams and I do not dream that often. Anyways, I dozed off and I was woken by what sounded like a mans voice talking in the other room (Richards party room) so I got up (the talking continued) and opened the door to Richards party room and it went quiet RIGHT when I turned the handle to open the door. There was nothing. Every time I go into that room I get chills down my spine so I shut the door fast when I found no one was in there.

That night when another one of the caregivers came to do the night shift and I was packing up to go home. I told her how I heard a mans voice in the other room and she said "Oh that was just Richard." I said "What? Has anyone else heard his voice?" She said "Oh yeah, all over the house. Have you seen him yet?" I said "You have seen him?" and she told me that I am the only one in the house who has not seen him yet. The last time someone saw him was about 3 months ago. One of the caregivers was cleaning and he was seen looking out a window with his back to her. She said "Gene?" (That is the name of our gardener) thinking it was Gene taking a break and she said he vanished right in front of her eyes. Another time he was seen was about 8 months ago, someone went into Richards's party room to put something away and she saw him sitting on one of the couches and poof, he was gone...

Well since I have worked there I have not seen him yet. But strange things are happening more and more often now! On one occasion I dozed off watching TV and when I woke up, I went into the kitchen to get a drink and all the cabinets where open! Every one of them! There is no way the lady I care for did that! She was in bed sleeping and she never ever goes in the kitchen! And I sure didn't do it! Another time I was cleaning and I heard a man calling my name from Richards's party room... Now that gave me the chills! Another time all of her lights where turning on and off all over the house! The hallway light would go on, and then I would go turn it off. Then the bedroom lights would turn off, and then I would go turn them on, then the bathroom lights would turn on... This continued for like 45 minutes straight! Nothing but me turning the lights on and off! I eventually said "Would you just leave the lights alone!" and it all stopped.

There have also been times where things are moved, the pictures have fallen off the walls, and we have heard banging noises coming from other rooms. One time I heard such a big bang, I got a knife and checked every room in the house! I thought someone had broken in! I swear to God the noise came from inside the house! But the most recent thing that has happened with me there was I was watching TV and she were asleep in bed. I muted the TV because I thought I was hearing her talking through the monitor, turns out it wasn't her... It was a mans voice coming through. I went up to it and turned it up and a deep voice of a man was mumbling and making weird noises. Almost sounded like he was whispering and cleaning is throat. But it sounded like he was trying to say something, but I couldn't understand. I know it was NOT her voice! I went into her room to check on her and she was sound asleep.

Recently I talked to a woman I work with and she told me Richard died in the back room- that would explain why I do not like going in there (I did not know he died inside the house!). She said she saw him the day after he died. She told me that she was told he had a peaceful death, but she does not believe that. She said his chest was elevated up, his chin was up, his mouth was open as if he had been screaming, and his face looked like he was in pain. She told me she did not even know you could look like that when you die. Well this is my issue; should I pray over the house and command it to leave, or let it stay? One of the women I work with told me to leave 'him' alone because he just wants to be with his wife. But the women I care for does not even know this is going on. She believes he has moved on. So if I tell 'him' to leave, she won't know the difference. What would you do?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Jeanine_dv, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Jeanine_dv (6 stories) (21 posts)
10 years ago (2011-05-11)
Thank you all so much for reading my story and giving me such wonderful advice! I still have not seen his ghost, but the noises have continued. I have not communicated with him or told him to leave yet. If he attempts to hurt his wife, me, or any of the other caregivers I have decided I will confront him and give him a little warning. If he is just hanging out with us, I don't see the need to tell him to leave. He isn't hurting anyone. She still has no idea what is going on. A few of you asked me to talk to the women I care for about her husband still being in the house, but I know it would scare the crap out of her and she would not understand at all. I really don't want to scare her. She already has a lot of issues and I don't want to add to it if it is not needed. If she ever brings it up I will probably tell her a little bit about what is going on though.
Thank you guys so much! It helps!
bacchaegrl (506 posts)
10 years ago (2011-05-05)
I loved your story. Sorry about the whole "being scared" thing. Don't mean to be insensitive. I wonder who is going to get the house when she passes on. It sounds like a rich ghost hunter's dream home! I know you feel uncomfortable in the house. Probably because it isn't your house. I bet the ghost of the husband is concerned for his wife and just wants to make sure her caretakers are doing a good job.
aiafaith1 (guest)
10 years ago (2011-05-02)
Normally, I would have him leave. In your situation though, I think you should let him be. It's his house. Actually, I think you should ask the elderly lady you care for. She should make the descision. Thanks for sharing.
Gods-Girl (5 posts)
10 years ago (2011-05-02)
I think you should let him be! My parents are caregivers and yes my mother and father and I do see things walking around the BIG house. Let him be! He's probrably waiting for his wife to 'go' with him 😁
clo-clo (4 stories) (26 posts)
10 years ago (2011-04-26)
Leave him to it... ITs his house after all... Hes not causing any harm just a little cheeky, hes probably watching over his wife making sure shes ok and waiting to be with her again:) altho saying that. If things carry on and get worse just ask him to cool it down a bit tell him your not comfortable with it and it makes you feel uneasy, respect the fact that you are in his house. Afteralll your taking caare of his loved one so he can't harbour any ill feelings towards you surely? ❤
deadinmybed101 (2 posts)
10 years ago (2011-04-25)
I think it's very sweet, it sounds like he's watching over and waiting for his wife. I would leave him be for now. 😊
princessLotus (2 stories) (555 posts)
10 years ago (2011-04-25)
If you are born again, you already know what to do and shouldn't ask. This is such a great story. Personally, I would tell IT to leave. That's because I know better. I know someone is going to get all hurt at the fact I am telling you this & cry & throw a fit. But I need to be honest & stews the fact that you said the woman knows her husband has moved on, so, what's the misunderstanding here? Tell it to stop. Much love. Bless you.

Petersspirit (4 stories) (144 posts)
10 years ago (2011-04-24)
Hi Jeanine_dv,

Thank you for sharing this experience. Indeed it is Richard waiting for his beloved. We still have our grandfather hanging around the house waiting for our grandmother. We all have seen him or felt him and our granny has often told me that he lays next to her in bed. One time he appeared to one of my nieces which gave her a bit of a fright. Thank him for helping you guy's keeping an eye on her.


This comment from GeminiGoat is hidden due to low rating. Show comment

510mot (3 stories) (262 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-23)
I can see everyones points of view in this case. I believe this to be an intelligent haunt. I have often wondered if being a ghost is confusing or if they percieve things the same way in death as in life? The fact that his possessions are undisturbed probably bring him comfort and a sense of control. I suspect that were you ever to need his attention, perhaps in effort to communicate, moving his things around should do the trick. It may peeve him so be polite about it. Most probably he is waiting for his wife.
otteer (8 stories) (398 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-23)
I don't know where I was when I was reading this story but I just re read it and I missed the fact that you have been seeing spirits for a long time. Yah, I'd just let him be, it sounds like your not scared, just maybe annoyed and occasionally startled? Sounds like he wants to be acknowledged to me, like you did with the light switch. He may be letting you know he is watching. Also, you said the lady thinks he has moved on. Have you talked to her about the situation? I'm curious what she says.
lynrinth (guest)
11 years ago (2011-04-23)
Great story. Well, it sounds like this spirit is making a lot of noise, that's all. It is probably her husbad hanging around. Did he die in a horrible way, and is trying to communicate that to people? Maybe. Or is he just trying to let people know he's still around? Probably. But who really knows what's going on. As long as nothing as happened to you that is negative, then just watch, observe, and see what happens. If it gets a little too freaky, maybe tell the spirit to please stop it, it's frightening you, and you taking the best care of the lady, and don't want to leave. Also, try praying for the spirit. Ask for it to find peace. Sometimes spirits need a little nudge in the right direction for the 'light'. It's really up to you if you want to stay, and take care of the lady, or just fing something else. Good luck.
otteer (8 stories) (398 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-22)
Hi Jeannie, thanks for sharing this story! I can understand your fear and concern, who wouldn't be uncomfortable with this type of activity? I think along the same lines as Javelina. It all comes down to being able to accept that there is a ghost in this womans home. Either you can accept it, or not. Dont feel bad if you cant, you will just have to decide if you are going to stay or not. If you can, talk to him, let him know you now understand and you will take good care of his wife. I like lazria's comment too, ask him not to scare you so you can better take care of his wife.
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-21)
Through the first half of your story I was going along thinking this was a typical residual haunting. Then you related the incident with the cupboard doors being open and that blew my theory out the window right there.
I agree with the rest here, it's him. He's just keeping an eye on things and biding is time until she joins him. That's so touching, he doesn't want her to go it alone. Would that we all have that same love to carry us through our old age and beyond. Just appreciate it for what it is and consider yourself fortunate to witness that devotion at it's very best. I'm sure if you ask him not to frighten you, he'll stop. Just keep in mind though, after he stops and it happens again? It could be him trying to get your attention, she could need assistance.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.
❤ 😊
taz890 (12 stories) (1380 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-21)
firstly great story thanks for sharing
Nowi agree with some of the comments here it is more than likly he is just waiting for his wife ask him politly to stop doing things that frighten you or you could just leave yourself.
cosmogal926 (9 stories) (1223 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-21)
Great story! I really enjoyed reading it. In my opinion I think Richard is waiting around until his wife is ready to join him. He doesn't seem to be hurting anybody so I wouldn't make him leave. If you are bothered by his presence than do like Lazria suggested and just ask him not to scare you and to please let you do your job. Thanks, and take care 😊 ❤
Sporky (1 stories) (17 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-21)
What a great story! Gave me goosebumps. I believe he should be left alone in that house, at least until his wife passes. Then he needs to go and be with her, and not bothering the next group of inhabitants.
redphx (4 stories) (827 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-21)
You leave him alone. He wants to be with his wife. My grandfather is still with my grandma. She enjoys his company and he is looking out for her. It is not your house. You can't command someone to leave their own house. That would be like me walking into your house and telling you to leave. Don't be rude. Just let him be. Even if he does end up being mean to you that is his right as it is his wife and his property.
lazria (9 stories) (82 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-21)
Thing is, even if you address him and tell him it's time to move on, he may not want to. Since you didn't state the Lady's age or condition, maybe he's hanging around to keep an eye on his wife while she lives out her last years? Another thought, althought to you she let's you believe that she thinks he has moved on, maybe she knows and is keeping mum on it. For now, I would suggest that if he isn't bothering you, leave things alone. If he scaries you, then ask him to please stop, that you can't assist his wife if you are scaried. I hope things work out for you (her & him as well).
snowhite (203 posts)
11 years ago (2011-04-21)
A lot of dead people still wondering in the places where they used to live is because they did not realize they are dead. They think they are still part of us. So I were you, I would tell him he needs to move on so that everybody can have peace.

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