Hey everyone, I was hoping someone could shed some light on what has been happening to me. I'm a 24 year old female and a few years ago I was lying on my side in my bed when I came to consciousness because I felt a body on top of mine. It was definitely a man because I could hear him breathing very deeply and he was also gyrating on me in a sexual way.
I was extremely scared because I thought someone had broken in and I was struggling to move; eventually I opened my eyes and it was gone. The second time is happened was a few nights after that; I was lying on my front when I came to consciousness from a dream (the dream had turned sexual moments before I came to consciousness) and there was this man on top of me again. This time I felt really cold hands touch me, he was gyrating again and I could hear him breathing. Again, I couldn't move and struggled to open my eyes. When I did, he was gone.
The third time it happened was a few weeks after that; this time I felt like I was ready for him. I came to consciousness, felt the body on top of me, heard the breathing, but this time I wasn't scared. I managed to open my eyes and pretty much said "Go!" and it left. It never came back after that...
Until last night! Now this is what I need help with; I never doubted for one moment what this was, that it was an incubus who was trying to have sex with me while I sleep. However, I don't know if this is the same one.
I was asleep - dreaming - and moments before I came to consciousness the dream had been getting more sexual, in the sense where the man in my dream suddenly turned to me with a lustful grin. When I came to consciousness, I was lying on my back and BOTH my arms were pinned to the bed most definitely by hands that were pushing them into the bed. I could feel wrists clutching my forearms. My ears would go blocked, then unblocked, blocked, unblocked, in a rythmic motion. I could feel a body on top of me. I couldn't hear him breathing though. But I knew at that moment what it was and I didn't freak out like I had in the past; in fact, I was enjoying it this time and it was turning me on.
I tried to keep calm for a while, however, a part of me started to get scared as I started getting paranoid that it might suffocate me. A part of me wanted to keep going because it was pleasing but the fear in me got the better of me, I opened my eyes and it was gone.
I really don't know what to think; is it the same one as before or a different one? It seems to come to me when I feel particularly low also... Though not EVERYTIME I feel low, of course. This time, I liked it and wanted it to come back. The first three times it happened, I was in my own room on the top floor of our house. This time round I was in my sister's room (in the past she had reported similar dealings, except they were never sexual, only that her head was being suffocated) and yes, I did like it.
Does anyone have any thoughts? Why does this only happen to some people and not others? Is this the same incubus as before? This is very hard for me to talk about with most people I know; they haven't experienced it and most don't believe it; so many are narrowminded and ready to put it down to "scientific explanations" which to me is rubbish.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, thank you.