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Suicidal Mother's Ghost Or Not?


This is the only true and real experience that I've ever had. My grandmother was the only one in our family that could see, sense and communicate with ghosts. I always loved listening to her stories and I wondered if I would ever experience it for myself. One night I did.

I was in Std 6 and had a very unstable year family wise. Mom kicked stepdad out and we had to get used to "dealing" with all of it again. My twin brother had somehow gotten involved with a "cult like" group and he would wear black and be evil in general. He came home one night after getting high with his friends and my mother started arguing with him. He was also in Std 6. The argument became very heated and he pulled a knife on her and he threatened that he would slit her throat and that he wished she was dead. Immediately after that he left.

My mother put the last bundle of washing in and went to her bedroom. I followed her and she chatted to me like nothing had happened. I saw her take out an exam pad and pen and she started writing. Almost instantly an alarm went off in my head, something about this was off. She continued talking to me while writing her "letter" and asked me to go make us some nice coffee. I did as she asked.

When I came back to the room I saw that she was done writing and the "letter" was fully covered in writing back and front. As I put my cup down on the bedside table I glanced at the letter next to my cup and all I could make out was "...kan nie meer so aan sukkel...". My mother asked me to finish my coffee and go to bed.

After I kissed her goodnight and told her I love her, I also tried hugging her really tight, to show her that I still loved her etc.

I climbed into bed and decided that I was not going to lie down and that I would sit up. I did just that and started shaking from pure fear of what was going to happen in my mom's room. I didn't quite know how she was planning on doing it so that's why I stayed upright in bed. She had to walk past my room to get to the kitchen, lounge and both doors (back and front).

I prayed for a long time while looking at my doorway opening. If I saw her I would listen carefully as to what she was doing, jump out of bed and "stop" her. After a couple of hours, I finally saw her flowing satin night gown "running" slowly past my door into the lounge or kitchen or wherever she planned on going. I waited and waited but couldn't hear a thing. I got up out of bed and went to look for her... She was nowhere to be found and neither of the doors had been opened.

I thought that maybe she came back and I didn't see her? When I went to her room, she was fast asleep. I crawled back into bed knowing that whatever went to the kitchen past my door was not my mother. This freaked me out even more as I thought it was a sign that she was going to die. I still didn't know if she'd already "done" something to herself and decided to wait up some more.

An hour later I heard her bed creak and I saw her by my door. She asked me why I was sitting up and not sleeping and I just made up a story. She said very sternly "go to sleep NOW".

She went to the kitchen, I heard her open a cupboard door, the tap running and then she went back to her room. I stayed up all night praying and praying. I even got up a couple of times to see if she was still breathing.

The next morning she woke up absolutely fine. She gave me the letter she wrote and told me to read it in the bathroom while she was bathing. She then said I took rat poison and I didn't "f'ing" die.

I still remember that night very clearly and I always wonder what that "person in the gown" was and why they chose that specific night?

Thanks for reading. It's 12 years later now and I still wonder.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, socrazy100, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

ColsenyBoo (6 posts)
10 years ago (2013-01-21)
Tell your twin brother to cut the evilness out of him and apologize to your mother.
socrazy100 (1 stories) (1 posts)
10 years ago (2012-07-10)
Hey all. Thanks for your comments. As a 14yo girl at that stage the only thing I thought of doing was pray. Luckily she did not die but she did try again. The same year with tablets and about 4 or 5 years later with some more tablets. Then I was old enough to spring into action and call the ambulance. Regarding my "evil" twin brother - we're not close at all. He still has a bit of a dark side that I know he's trying to get rid of. I have definitely spoken to my mother about all 3 times and she knows that I was up praying that night. Also told her about the "ghost" and she doesn't believe me. Lol. We're not close and I don't see her anymore. Thanks for all your comments!
hardsalamibear (11 posts)
10 years ago (2012-07-06)
wait I don't understand is your mom dead? I hope not. Did your mom and brother make peace? Good luck with life do nice stuff with your mom you never no when it will end ❀
Rebecca592 (2 posts)
10 years ago (2012-07-01)
Nice stories! I love it so much! Please post somemore!
pringles (3 stories) (16 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-29)
Thanks for sharing your story, I'm sorry you had a hard time.
Sending you much love, God bles xx
creepydog (3 stories) (71 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-29)
I don't get it. You shouldn't lie to your mum.
You should just tell her that you were
Worried about her she should understand
DeviousAngel (11 stories) (1910 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-29)
I'm sorry to hear that your childhood involved such traumatic events. I do hope that your mom and brother have made peace now, and that your brother is in a better place in his life. I definitely agree that if you ever have doubts about someone, sit down and take a few moments to talk to them. You never know whose life you'll save with just a few minutes of attention, concern and kindness.

I hope your mom is doing better as well. Suicide is a traumatic and stressful thing, and not an easy decision for the person who attempts or commits it, though it is considered the "easy" way out for people who cannot deal with their lives and stresses. I think it might be possible that her thoughts projected into a physical form, and that may have been what you saw.
redphx (4 stories) (827 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-28)
Thanks Jav!

Yeah you don't say that to Vets. My dad was a sargent in Vietnam. His job was being a photographer with the special forces. He would go in and take pics of the things that happened.

He is not right. He won't talk about it and we dont' press him.
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-28)
Oh yeah! [at] red and Lou both!

Mythical Invisible Karma Point! Bam! Bam!

Jav πŸ˜†
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-28)
You're doing great Red. And you are right, you know. I've worked with Viet Nam vets for years and the one thing people should never say to a veteran is "get over it" How callous is that?

Be good lady. More important, be yourself. (we sort of have that in common 😁)

Jav ❀
redphx (4 stories) (827 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-28)
thanks Lou

I find that a lot of people are looking for validation and agreement rather than "help"

What I mean by that is when this girl told me she was trying to find her moms ghost it is better to assist her by telling her that even though I think her may have moved on it is possible she is still here and that she is not crazy for trying to find her ghost. Most therapists would call someone crazy and put them on meds and they would tell them that to their face. They would say they need to let go, move on, and have closure. Sometimes people don't have closure and if they feel they need to have comfort that their dead mother isn't actually gone forever and that makes them feel better then let them have it.

It especially makes me mad when people say this to little kids. Or when someone loses a spouse and they thing the widow (er) needs to move on and date other people. YOu can't make someone get over another person if they don't want to. I do the same thing with people who are having other problems, say financially. I don't tell people that they should look on the bright side and that is will soon get better. The fact is they are not ok now. It is best to listen to them and help them process the information rather than force a solution on them that hasn't happened yet. Acknowledging their pain and telling them its ok to have pain sometimes in life is better than telling them to get over it. The fact is the person is upset and no matter the reason how trivial or large it is very real to them. I try to help people look at the facts of the problem and walk them trhough the emotions they have so they can understand where the pain is coming from.

I don't know, I guess my method of help is a little different. I don't sugar coat things and offer my honest opinion. But it seems to work
LouSlips (10 stories) (979 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-28)
Your story hits close to home. Thank you for helping her, and thank you for sharing.

redphx (4 stories) (827 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-28)
Yeah that is all she needed. I have always had interesting events happen where I pop into people's lives when they need help. With my friends that I already know I will dream about them, even if I hadn't spoken to them in 10 years. The dreams are my signals. If I dream about someone then I call them and they are always going through some tragic event so I just listen and offer advice. It is really interesting how it happens. I get the same things about websites that I have accounts on. And I always know when someone dies, even animals that I gave away. Just the other night I found out my old horse Tye died. I dreamed it, then called the lady I sold him to and she confirmed it.

So I just go with the flow. With this girl I was tutoring it was odd because I don't tutor people normally. I don't like children very much. Well I like teens so she was a little girl. But I have never tutored before her, or since then. I was with her for 2 years and even went to her school to talk to her teachers about her grades. It was really strange. Not something I do normally. She was my landlords daughter. What was interesting was his wife, the one that committed suicide, I found out was the same lady who had an affair with one of the CEO's at the company my mom worked for, for over 20 years. My mom knew her and what she did. She ended up having dirt on the guy and was trying to blackmail him. How odd it was that we drove by a house for rent, not knowing anything about this old man renting it, and just fell into it.

Life lands in you in strange places. If you are finding yourself in a situation it is because you need to be there. Either to learn something or to teach someone else. We are all connected to eachother and we end up where we need to be.

After a few experiences in my life of this type of thing happening I just stopped questioning it and realized I just go where I'm needed.
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-28)
Hi Red,
I agree with spectae. It is good that you were there to help her.
I'm impressed.

Jav 😊
spectae (1 stories) (41 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-27)
Hi redphx,

Good that you are there to help her!

Listening... Like a smile, can do wonders.

redphx (4 stories) (827 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-27)
it could be that she took the rat poison and "almost died" she may have been having an outer-body experience.

Or you saw her spirit guide in the house.

I hope your mom is ok now. Suicides are hard. I had a girl who was 13 that I was tutoring whos mom killed herself when the little girl was 8. What was really sad was she always carried around a camera with her. She would take pictures of everything around her. I asked her what she was doing and she said that she was looking for her mom. (she was trying to see if she saw orbs in the pictures)

The little girl became suicidal too. I walked into her room one day and she had taken a sharpie marker and wrote over every inch of her mirror hateful things about herself.

I helped her through a lot of it. She wouldn't speak to counselors because they would try to "heal" her. I just listened to her and since I believed in ghosts she connected with me and told me about her mom. It was very hard on her.

She is ok now though.
ashville (3 stories) (42 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-27)
Hey Socrazy... Sorry to hear about that whole inccident. I had a friend whos mother who took rat poisen and DID die... It was hectic.

Snowqueen, she said std 6, which is the equivilant to grade 8 (beginning of high school) which would make him a young teenager. But I see where you got confused.

But, yeah atleast she is okay, and sometimes these things happen in day to day families, not all of us have the mom, dad, older brother and sister and end every night breaking bread around a table talking about how great life is. So I get it. We just adapt.

As for what you... I am not sure what that could have been... But hearing of you brothers background, it could have been anything! How did that affect you though, you two being twins must share a tight bond, and he being involved in somehing so oppisite to what I'm sure you were interested in must have been a hard thing to handle. Is he still into those kinds of dark things today?

Ps: nice to hear from a local 😊
SpiderZA (2 stories) (81 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-27)
SnowQueen - I am also from SA and believe me, the problems for our kids start young here...
Also, about the Mom, sometimes (and don't take offense SoCrazy100) but sometimes mothers don't realise that your child is not your therapist, I too was saddled with crap I wasn't old enough to deal with. Single moms sometimes have no one to turn to or seek attention in ways they shouldn't.
Just MY opinion...

SnoWQueeN (5 stories) (100 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-26)
Grade 6 child getting 'high'?πŸ˜•He must be 10 or 11 I guess in 6? And you said both are twins, so why would a mother write a letter and scare a 10 year old saying she had 'poison'?

spectae (1 stories) (41 posts)
10 years ago (2012-06-26)

I am glad your mum is okay. I would have thought speaking with her about your concerns would have been the obvious thing to do... You know, you think she may be suicidal... Go have a chat!

Joseph Stalin was bumped off with rat poison... Thought I'd add that fact.

If someone close is suspected of suicidal behavior, then speaking with them ought to be a priority, also seeking further support for them and utilizing resources to prevent suicide.

As the saying goes, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem".

Life isn't always miserable... At the very least black humor exists and hopefully a lot, lot more.

May be an idea to provide a translation:

"...kan nie meer so aan sukkel..."

"... I can't go on anymore..." What is "sukkel"?

What does your mum say about what happened?

What happened to your "evil twin"... Literally it seems, but I can't get an image of Bart Simpson out of my mind on that one! 😜


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