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Unwanted Visitor


Growing up, I always liked anyone else who had older siblings and have had them tell me stories to scare me. Now on this particular story it wouldn't have been so bad if it were just my oldest brother telling me the story, but I remember my mother telling me as well... Let me start off by saying I come from a big family, there are 6 of us "kids" that my mom had, 4 older boys, I and my younger brother.

The story begins in a little house we all lived in (except my younger brother on account he wasn't born yet.) There were 3 bedrooms in the home, the first bedroom my two oldest brothers shared, second one my 2 younger of the 4 brothers shared and then there was me who slept in my mom's room in a cradle. According to my oldest brother, one night before going to bed, all of them were being rowdy and decided they all wanted to sleep in the same room to see who could stay up the longest, so they went ahead and asked for my mom's permission to sleep all together in one room. My mom said it was ok on one condition, that they all not be so loud (because I was asleep) and tried to at least go to bed at a decent hour. They agreed and went to the room.

At one point the boys began to get loud and rowdy again and my mom was forced to go in and give a warning to them, as she turned away she saw my oldest brother stick out his tongue at her and she quickly turned back and told him that it wasn't nice to do that and that God didn't like little boys being so hateful and that if he continued to do that, the "devil" would snatch his tongue. Now keep in mind my mother who at that time was a profound catholic and not to mention, hispanic, and well God and the Devil played big roles in her life.

My brother not liking that comment she made in return said, "well if that's true then I'll be seeing him soon," my mom scorned at him and turned and walked out the room. As the night progressed, my brother said he was the last to fall asleep and as he was drifting off, he felt someone grab the blankets and pull them off him abruptly. He, thinking it was one of my other brothers messing with him, snatched the blankets back and yelled "Alex stop doing that!" And of course there was no response from Alex because he was fast asleep. My brother was laying on his side, keep in mind, and said he felt someone tug at his toes. He opened his eyes this time to see if it was Alex or one of the other boys and to his surprise he saw a very dark figure staring back at him at the end of the bed near his feet.

My brother, terrified, said he couldn't get a sound out of his mouth and continued to watch as this figure climbed on top of the bed and somewhat sit on him with a devilish grin pinning him down. My brother froze in horror as he heard this figure say what he says sounded like "maybe next time you'll listen to your mother..." After that my brother said he seemed to have just kind of passed out.

He woke a few moments later, confused and scared, and ran to my mom who was sitting in the kitchen waiting up on our dad to get home from work. He began to tell my mom the story and to his amazement my mother said she believed him and began to tell him that moments after the boys had settled to fall asleep, in the corner of her eye she spotted a dark figure passing from living room to hallway but thought it was nothing and passed it off as of her being tired from a long day and was just seeing things. To their amazement they found what appeared to be scratches on his back, arms and one leading from his cheek down to the side of his mouth. My brother horrified by what he experienced never again back talked or stuck his tongue out at our mother in hopes that he would never experience that again.

As you are sure aware of, as a little girl hearing this story, it certainly scared me and then hearing it from my mom as well... you get the picture... I hope you all enjoy my little story.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Dulcita, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

scrapmetalkitten (306 posts)
13 years ago (2009-11-11)
That kind of reminds me of the german strewelpeter *spelling may be off* stories. They were stories that had a moral lesson to them to scare children into behaving. I wonder if this really happened or if your mom thought it up as a way to make you behave? I believe it could it could go either way though 😉 ❤
Lexiluca (8 stories) (78 posts)
15 years ago (2007-08-07)
That's terrifying! I'm the same way - I love to read and hear stories about experiences people have had. They're mysteries. They're fun to try and sort out in your head, when in all reality - none of us will ever really know.
Dulcita (2 stories) (3 posts)
15 years ago (2007-08-07)
I agree KimSouth0, it does work as a good moral story for children to learn from. I know hearing this story and others growing up I didn't dare disobey my mother. Just sucks for my brother having to learn the "Hard Way..." And Radio1 I believe it happened to your cousin. I've heard from my mom that children who disobey or are nasty to their elders, the elders can say the childs fate and it really happen to them. I guess that's just something for people to think on.
radio1 (8 posts)
15 years ago (2007-08-07)
Hey this happened to my cousin, he kicked my grandmother in the knee and she told him that he shouldn't do that the devil will get him for that. So my cousin being stubborn didn't care and the next morning when he woke up he was complaining about his back hurting and when my aunt lifted his pajama's shirt up she noticed he had 3 long scratches going down his back...
KimSouthO (27 stories) (1960 posts)
15 years ago (2007-08-06)
i think perhaps as your brother knew better nad had basically dared something to happen, in line with the physical scratches this would scre the dickens out of me.
it also makes for a wonderful moral tale for children and respect for their parents.
lian01 (3 stories) (65 posts)
15 years ago (2007-08-05)
Big brothers can be nasty can't they? Always wanting to scare younger siblings, especially sisters! I'm not saying that none of this is real, but I think possibly that it could have been a nightmare based on what your mum said to him earlier. But considering she has seen dark figures too, maybe it was a ghost!
torig1230 (guest)
15 years ago (2007-08-04)
Wow! That is kind of scary. I totally believe that one, espescially because your mam said she was it too. I wonder what that is. There are so many unexplainable things in (and out) of this world.

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