Drained

This happened in the past month (Jan - Feb 2013)

After my operation Tim had been in contact with me every day, always starting conversations with, "Did the patient behave today?" After Charlie showed him the flash of me bending over in the kitchen holding my stomach, I'm guessing he and gran were feeding him a lot of information. Big brother is watching, for sure.

But then, the messages stopped. I had not heard from him in 2 days, so I sent Elaine a message and asked her if everything was ok. She said no. She had to have Tim admitted into a hospital that morning.

Maybe I need to give a little background here. Tim was born with ADD, severe hyperactivity and as he grew older, he was diagnosed with Depression and Bi-Polarity. Add to that the fact that he is in tune with the spiritual world as he is, it can be a quite combustive mix.

They both work, but really struggle to make ends meet, so both of them just about carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Moreover, Tim started to crack under the pressure.

Since before Christmas I had sensed a difference in the messages he sent me, especially given that he would suddenly give the phone to Elaine and she would to the talking, so I have had that nagging feeling that something wasn't right.

That Friday, the 18th of January, was when she had to have him hospitalized as he had turned suicidal. I knew my friend was distraught, so I rushed over to their house and brought her and her kids back to mine. She was hysterical most of the time. Given the fact that she, herself, is also Bi-Polar, I was afraid that she and her kids would not be ok alone.

As we were driving back home she told me that it felt like someone was between her and the seat, they had their hands on her shoulders and were squeezing them, possibly as reassurance. Just before she said this, I had the familiar feeling of Charlie touching my right temple. So I told her it was him, trying to lend her strength in some way.

I took her back to the hospital that evening to see Tim. When the visit was over she looked slightly better, but she was still very anxious about leaving him there.

The next morning when I walked into the twins' room, where she and her kids had slept, she was weeping again. She looked at me at one point and asked me if I thought it would be a good idea if she upped her own dosages on her medication so she could cope. I'm no doctor, and I don't play with other people's lives, so I was already getting ready to say no, then I had a flash in my mind of a head of brown hair (hey Charlie!) violently shaking from side to side. No ways! Under no circumstances.

We were sitting in the kitchen that afternoon, after she had seen Tim again, and as we were talking she told me about how it felt to have Gran zone in on her and start communicating. Then she suddenly sat up straight in the chair and said, "Someone is pressing up against my back, and they have their hand on my arm." Only 2 possibilities, and I have learned how to figure out who was there. So I asked her if the touch was hard and clear, like you could almost expect to look down and see a normal hand there. Or was the touch soft, like the hand was barely touching her skin. She said the touch was clear, and hard. I told her it's Charlie. I have a feeling if he wanted to speak there he would have told her not to cry.

That weekend was draining, both physically and emotionally. And I started realizing that Gran had stopped making contact before Elaine came over. I have a theory, but it has to do with more personal issues with Elaine, so I won't discuss that.

Little Kiddo has been quiet as well. He knocks on the wall almost every night at some point, and he follows me to his door every time I'm in his room, but other than that he has not communicated much. Of course, they had to put Tim on VERY strong medication. He spent 3 weeks in the hospital, and he told me that he doesn't know if its just the meds, but he has zoned out on spirits. He can't pick them up.

One evening, at the beginning of Feb., I was doing the rounds through the house, closing windows and curtains. When I was closing one of the windows in the boys' room, I had the distinct, frightening feeling and overwhelming need to pull my hand back as fast as possible and close the window. Like something was going to grab my hand. My skin was crawling. When I walked into my bedroom and looked at the curtains the feeling was more intense. My curtains were drawn, but they are quite see-through, so I have blinds as well, and the blinds were still pulled up. But that feeling was there. If you open the curtains to get to the blinds, something is going to be on the other side of the window, and you DON'T want to see what it is. At that point, I don't know if it was my own intuition or if it was Charlie warning me. I left the room and went back an hour later. The feeling was gone and I could close the blinds and the windows.

This past Sunday, 11 Feb., I got a message from Tim, out of the blue. He said, "I had this nagging feeling all day yesterday. Which one of the vehicles has bad brakes?" I told him it was mine. It has happened on numerous occasions that I will be driving along and the gas pedal will suddenly pull flat to the floor and the car would shoot forward. I'd have to push my foot in underneath the pedal and pull it up because it won't release, and if I hit the brakes then, the car just skids, it doesn't stop. Frightening thought, considering my car is only 3 years old. I have taken it to the garage twice about this problem, and both times I was told that there is mechanically nothing amiss with my car. Tim told me he kept getting flashes of screaming tyres and ME behind the wheel. I asked him if it was Charlie showing him this, and he said yes, and he added, "And he is terrified. You need to get your car looked at." Charlie is the only one who has broken through the haze of medication.

As it turned out, I had my car booked for a service on Monday morning. I told Tim and he said "That's good, just hurry, time's running out." That had me panicked. My parents took my car in for me on Monday, and that evening my dad told me they had to replace the brakes as they were worn. I sent Tim a message telling him and he answered, "See, I told you so."

But now I'm unsure, is the threat over? I'm so afraid getting into my car now.

I'm guessing I'll find out soon enough.