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My Nana's Birthday Visit?


First of all I would like to introduce a few details about my family members in this event just so there's no/less confusion. The main member of this story is my nana Violet (also my mum's nan). Unfortunately she lived in a care home for the last few years of her life due to the unfortunate disease of dementia. Due to the disease she slowly began to forget every little memory. She forgot my mum, she forgot her own daughter (my other nana, Brenda), she even began to forget herself. Whilst my nana Violet was in the care home, my nana Brenda (her daughter) bought her some chocolates and many clothes. She labelled each item of clothing with a cotton strip with the name "Violet" wrote on, just so the clothes wouldn't get lost or end up on someone else.

Sad thing was, when my mum was growing up my nana Violet always used to love the idea of my mum having a child. She always used to pray that she could have a grand-daughter, so she could love and care for her as if she was one of her own children. The time came that my mum did have a child, she did have the daughter my nana Violet always wanted her to have. She had me. Yet by then, my nana Violet had already began the early stages of dementia, meaning she never knew me. She never knew the grand-daughter she'd always wanted to love and spoil.

The old age and dementia caused my nana Violet to have many strokes, the last stroke she ever had landed her on a life support machine. She never improved after 24 hours, she only got worse. Therefore, my nana Brenda had to make the horrible decision to turn off the life support machine and end her suffering. After the decision was made, my mum and my nana Brenda went to the hospital; they lay alongside her bed all night whilst she slowly slipped away.

Two years after my nana Violet's death, my nana Brenda had just recently returned home from an operation in hospital. It was my nana Violet's birthday and my nana Brenda had preplanned to go and visit the grave with some flowers, but obviously she wasn't fit enough to go.

Me and my cousin (Chloe, age 9) were round at my nana Brenda's house visiting on the day of my nana Violet's birthday. I went upstairs to the bathroom then suddenly my cousin Chloe shouted me to come downstairs.

My nana Brenda was stood with a piece of ribbon in her hand. She said "Did you leave this here on the side of my kitchen counter?" I took it from her to look. It was a white piece of ribbon with the name "Violet" wrote on it and a small brown stain which was almost arch-shaped like the top of a thumb. I told my nana Brenda that it wasn't me who placed it on the kitchen counter, that I'd never seen it before and that it wasn't there earlier in the day when I was in the kitchen. I then proceeded to ask her, "Wasn't that what you used to make nana Violet for her clothes labels? Maybe it fell out of the cupboard." (Which usually contained my nana Brenda's sewing equipment and cotton). My nana Brenda said it was like the labels she used to make; however, she always used cotton and not ribbon. She had never used ribbon for the labels so she has no idea where it had come from. I pointed out the brown stain in the corner of the ribbon and asked my nana what she thought it could be. She said it looked like chocolate. She rinsed it under the tap, yet it wouldn't remove. It was almost ground into the fabrics of the ribbon.

My nana Brenda proceeded to remind me and Chloe that it was my nana Violet's birthday, and by the way this is the first time she hadn't been to visit the grave. She was wondering if my nana Violet's spirit/ghost had left this as a reminder as if she was to say, "Yes, I'm still here. You haven't been to visit, don't forget me". It was the first time I'd ever seen my nana this shaken, yet she said it was a comforting feeling at the same time. She strongly believed that my nana Violet was trying to communicate in a way that we all remember her: the love of chocolate and the clothing labels my nan used to spend hours making.

I apologise for the length of this explanation, but please comment your thoughts. It would be nice to hear other opinions on the event. Thanks.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Mystery_Girl, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

spiritwaiting (42 stories) (843 posts)
11 years ago (2013-12-13)
Dear Mystery_Girl, I believe your gran came by to let her know she is around, and she understood that she couldn't make it to the gravesite. By leaving the ribbon, she was validating she was there. What a lovely story. 😊
Mystery_Girl (2 stories) (7 posts)
11 years ago (2013-12-11)
It's a comforting feeling for my family, to have some sort of link that supports the idea of my nana staying by us. Even though she never had knowledge of me, or any other member of my family by the end there was always a bond there. There was one connection that never faded, and she would always get upset when my nana Brenda would leave the care home. She would constantly ask us to "take her home" but we knew that she was safer there.

Thank you all for your comments. It means a lot 😊
AshCat (24 posts)
11 years ago (2013-12-11)
I am sure Violet understood that she couldn't come to visit that year, so she came to see her! Always remember that you can honor her in your memories anytime, anywhere, and don't need to physically visit her grave to pay your respects. There are no hard feelings on the other side! Cool story
Mystery_Girl (2 stories) (7 posts)
11 years ago (2013-12-10)
Thank you all for your comments. It helps a lot to receive other opinions aswell as my own. As I said, I apologise for the length but I was aiming to explain it in as much detail as possible to give you all a clearer understanding and avoid any confusion 😊
Swimsinfire (11 stories) (556 posts)
11 years ago (2013-12-08)
Jeez, that is heartwarming. And she came to visit y'al when you couldn't visit her. A really special experience. Thanyou for a loving story.
tedbear (3 stories) (11 posts)
11 years ago (2013-12-07)
Sounds like you had a visit from beyond our dimension. I have heard that upon transition we can leave a gift for those left behind. I experienced that when my father passed and we had something returned to us that had been lost months before, and should never have been in my father's house. Communication with the spirit world is amazing and truly a blessing.
BadJuuJuu (guest)
11 years ago (2013-12-07)
It sounds like too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence. 😁
I think Violet stopped in for a visit since Brenda was unable to visit the cemetery. Or maybe she was checking on Brenda since she'd just had surgery, letting her know she was thinking of her. ❤

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