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Events Around My Cat's Death

 

Last time I wrote about old childhood experiences and I didn't really expect anything to happen, in fact, didn't really want anything to happen as I've always been so scared of death, the dead and the dying. I was just glad to post it and get some comments to soothe the isolation I felt around those memories.

Meanwhile my cat Ūsiņลก got sick. He was pretty old and he had led this double life of a very kind and patient, friendly home pet who was perhaps persistent in his desires and rather thievish but never truly mean towards any of us. His other life was little known to us. Despite being neutered, he wandered around a lot and fought a lot and we just got some pieces of evidence such as

- Did you know that your cat is sometimes stealing food right under our not-particularly-cat-friendly rottweiler's nose?

- Imagine this - yesterday I saw a fox with its baby coming out of the woods to drink from a puddle. The fox went back, and the baby started towards our house, which was when I realized that wasn't a fox baby at all, that was our cat.

- Your cat got annoyed and chased our dog (small size) across the field.

- Wow, look at the size of that rat he hunted down in the basement.

- Shut that window, shut that stupid window, he has a mouse! (My mom, very scared of mice.)

And then once he was torn up bad by some wild animal and never fully recovered, he stopped his nocturnal wanderings and got sick frequently.

I'm sorry I get carried away, I just really love that cat. Sometimes I would "help" him following the furry fighters with a large bowl of cold water and loud cursing and now it was time for me to make strong broths, exhaust his patience relentlessly offering him various food items and let him drool blood and puss (tooth problems) all over my shoulder because he wanted to sleep by my side where it was also warm.

He got weaker and weaker, one night he started having some kind of seizure. As I was holding him and yelling violently at my poor parents about vets and miracles, I suddenly felt something I really didn't want to feel. I felt death. I don't know how to properly explain it. I have no beliefs regarding death angels, grim reapers and such, I didn't even see anything, I just felt death was there, by the bedside. I denied this immediately and panicked, and prayed and there was a lot more that night but, yes, after several hours he passed at the vet's.

When I recall that presence, I realize it's not actually death as a whole, it's more of the bodily death, the feeling of decay, the grave, the emptiness, something dark, hollow and calm, not really evil, just distant, not forceful, just patiently waiting somehow. I'm sorry, I just don't know what that was so I'm trying to describe emotions and sensations.

It was the first time I wasn't scared of a dead body, too. I had been freaked out in each and every funeral disregarding my lifetime relation to the dearly departed. I never even liked visiting their graves nor did I talk to them in my thoughts. Sometimes I would see them in my dreams, mostly in two scenarios - either they were somehow still around doing stuff and I would say - but you're dead, why in the good heavens are you cooking? And they would have this attitude - so what, changes nothing. Or they were dead and I was scared and sad.

I had the same kind of dreams about my cat. Once I dreamed he had crawled out of grave like a zombie, I even went to see the hole, but he wasn't a zombie at all, he was alright. I told him I didn't think that was very normal and that I would probably have to consult with the vet about this because there might be some kind of problems with him being dead and then coming back to just lay around and chill, maybe he needs some supplements. The dream itself wasn't very amusing of nature, I just put it that way now.

This time I said I wanted the cat's body to stay in my room (wasn't warm weather) for some kind of vigil which included a candle burning for two days and me falling asleep. I didn't want him to be alone. I had no trouble cleaning him and stroking his fur because I realized I would really really miss the physical expression of affection and love. But I also didn't have trouble letting him go into his grave we dag in our backyard.

Also, for the first time, I consciously addressed my dead relatives asking them to guide the cat, welcome him, take care of him. And I felt my grandmothers and my grandpa very vividly. Since their deaths I had always felt them aloof and vague. Later I started lighting a candle every night and praying for those who have passed, and suddenly I could once again feel love for those I had pushed out of my consciousness to the point of oblivion. I remember them now.

Two nights after the funeral I was up late reading and I felt like my cat was there at my feet where he used to sleep when he wasn't sick. I felt the weight but I didn't see anything. I also couldn't really feel the presence in the way often described here, it wasn't this warm feeling of peace or goodbye nor was I scared or threatened. Mostly what I felt was more like, do you know how the air feels right before thunder? And now just take a piece out of this air and concentrate it a bit more densely as if forming it into a shape. It was like some form of thunder air concentrate at my feet.

I have felt it a couple more times since then, and my granny also says she felt as if the cat was snuggling up to her legs as she was gardening like he did before. I still don't particularly feel much about graveyards but I really want to remember my dead. I could say I am even thirsty for remembering them. Sometimes it worries me because I feel like they can understand me better than the living - somebody says something inconsiderate or selfish and I would wink at my dead grandma as if saying, "Oh, the kids, oh, the worldly affairs..." Maybe that is because I was largely raised up by those people who have now died.

Sometimes it seems like the cat is around - not a sight of him nor the thunder-air sensation. It's also not like the feeling he should be there because he ordinarily used to be. I have had that, too. It's more of - oh, there's Ūsiņลก, oh wait.

And, pushing my luck with this lengthy story, I also have a little episode which is mostly comical and which I am more confused about than supernaturally-wise concerned of.

We have a motion sensor on the basement stairs switching on a light. That is right in front of the loo. I have somewhat of a claustrophobia so, as it's fairly separated from the rest of the house, I tend to keep the door open while doing my business. There is also a door leading to the stairs which has a glass door. A while ago I noticed the light would come on each time I went to the loo. It was unsettling, because the basement stairs are, you know, basement stairs, a phenomenon of terror, a symbol for horrifying trouble. I wanted to keep the door shut not to forced to see the light come on and expect and ascending figure appear anytime in front of me, but that would be worse, it's easier to see the danger approach, you know.

There can be many explanations, old wiring, vibrations (glass door), insects, whatever really. The light also came on inconsistently - sometimes when I was on my porcelain throne, sometimes when I was opening the door, sometimes when I was merely approaching. However, I got edgy and once I cornered my dad in my parents' bedroom and demanded explanations for his negligence of our electrical issues. He said I was being paranoid and I should relax and that HE never had the light turning on by itself which was supposed to calm me down. Right.

It went on, as I paid more attention, every single time. I am a rather anxious person so once I lost it and right there by all of those doors I caught my unlucky mom and told her what I thought of this - that this was so not cool and that nobody should have this during their most vulnerable moments of their daily life and why was it happening to me. Mom also said she knew nothing of this (might also be they never noticed the light coming on because they are people who have actual troubles on their mind).

The unsettling thing is that after my outburst in the vicinity of those stairs, the light hasn't come on when I am visiting the loo ever since. Not once. That freaks me out most.

Thank you kindly for your patience. These experiences have changed me a lot, my feelings and attitudes around love and death, and household rules.

Wishing you joy,

Ieva

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ronja (guest)
 
8 years ago (2016-01-12)
Oh, and I forgot to mention that I have also experienced a couple more "night visits" - feeling like a cat is trying to make itself comfortable at my feet. Last time it happened at Christmas night.

All these times have taken place when I am already asleep - I feel like I wake up but not entirely and the memory of it is like between a dream state and being awake. It's hard to explain - my reasoning and senses aren't as sharp as during waking hours but I also don't recall it the way I recall dreams. I remember moving in this floating way as if I am surrounded by liquid, not air. When I look, there's nothing there and the feeling disappears, too. It also disappears if I become scared and move my legs under blanket.

The difference between sensations then and now is that there is no sense of "electricity" to it anymore, just pressure of touch.

To be honest, I'm far less willing to debunk it because the thought is so dear to my heart. I mean, Christmas... What a considerate cat I have had. Although I had also thought about the cat during day - I even made him a little wreath to decorate the grave so my focus could also have been a reason.
ronja (guest)
 
8 years ago (2016-01-12)
I thought it might be useful to comment briefly (!) on the proceedings of the situation with basement light. I agree with many here who advise to do ongoing observation of phenomena that repeats itself.

After half a year I have to conclude that the lights have mostly stayed off to appeared again over few brief periods of time (1 - 3 days) when I've felt worried and anxious over something which seems bigger than me, out of my control.

Sometimes they would also appear not in my direct vicinity but from afar - where I can still see them but they are behind two glass doors and I am in the "safe kitchen area". Basement is psychologically scary to me - it is somewhere near us but we don't inhabit it, it's dark and cold and gloomy, makes me think of ghosts and we also have frogs there which I am afraid of. Kitchen is psychologically soothing - it is warm, decorated, it holds tasty foods to nurture life and there are just spiders which I am not afraid of. And both are interrelated - we prepare things in kitchen to later store in basement where its gloomy conditions turn into perfect environment from which we later take jams and its the place where our central heating is operated from. I think these symbols are important.

So my conclusion is that it's related more to my pshyche than any other sentient presence. It's harder to me to accept the idea I might be switching them on somehow and easier to think I simply don't notice them in calmer moods. However, the first idea is troubling to ponder upon for the exact same reason - it feels bigger than me and out of my control (which is paradoxical because this idea concludes it is ME who causes them:) ).
ronja (guest)
+1
9 years ago (2015-06-22)
Logan,
I hope somebody else might dig something out of our off-topic conversation for it to be justified so we don't have to "sorry around" so much ๐Ÿ˜Š

And I am glad I had the chance to speak to your heart, too. All the best to you,
Ieva
logan (3 stories) (222 posts)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-22)
Ronja,

You have no need to apologies for feeling strongly towards animals, I myself am very similar and can completely agree with you. I feel like we might be 'spiritual twins' (although in real life I do have an identical twin sister:))

Most of what you said in your response is how I would descried the relationship animals/pets. I think how a person treats animals says a lot about him/her. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in not feeling anything towards animals, but that's entirely different from not feeling anything for animals in need/trouble! I think our discussion might be getting out of topic for the forum, I am sorry.

I am glad I ran into your story today;)
ronja (guest)
+1
9 years ago (2015-06-22)
Logan,
Thank you ๐Ÿ˜ณ, I've been told before I am full of wonders, but it's more in situations when I arrive at my dad's bedside around 11pm asking if he has any spare split shot sinkers ^_^ (I don't fish)

I can really relate when you say you read the stories religiously but you see people here far better equipped to give counsel. Unlike you, I don't feel equipped at all because I've tried to avoid these subjects all my life until now.

But, like you, I would subscribe to the word "religiously" because plenty of times I feel that the experiences people are so kind to share here help me better than most religious texts and that what happens here is close to what people say is unattainable - where scientific methods (including psychology) and spiritual methods come together and actually appear to supplement each other.

I'm sorry for your losses, Logan. I somehow suspect that with animals the connection is, how could I describe it, more pure, less mudded by... Perhaps, I might use the word "ego" here or "psyche" or "social roles".

I'm sorry, it is something I feel intuitively and I don't have exact words for. It's easier to let yourself closer to an animal, you know? Simply think of touching an animal vs. Touching a human being.

There are less "histories", "controversies", less psychological fear, less human drama, not to say none at all. Like, to connect to a human, to notice another human being truly, you have to move through a clouded area, and with an animal, the sky is pretty clear.

I'm so very happy to read comments by all these people here who have loved an animal.
logan (3 stories) (222 posts)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-22)
Ronja,

I simply had to write and tell you how wonderful you are! I have been on this site for a while now and initially would try and comment where I could help or had any inputs... It has decreased over the years because there are such good people on here who are better equipped to help the ones who seek it. But I do read the stories religiously and may not like all but appreciate that it was shared by someone who came here just like I did once.

I have lost far too many pets to write about them but do think of each one of them every night before I go to sleep, keeping them in my prayers. Its a feeling like no other when you lose an animal, its like some part of you died too (cant really explain it!) I am sorry for your loss, hope you find whatever your looking for to make peace with his passing.

Thanks for sharing

Logan
ronja (guest)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-21)
Lynev,
What I received from your comment, was this strong reassurance which you gave me as a person of both belief and private experience.

It is most meaningful to me because I am still rather scared of allowing to admit to their presence, at the same time longing for this faith. I think I need to be patient and give myself time, but your comment made me feel it's something good and natural. Thank you.
ronja (guest)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-21)
Mac_Barbie93,
I think you and your pets have been lucky to have one another. As you said, they spend their entire lives with us. Also, their lives are determined greatly by us because we make a lot of choices for them. That's why I feel happy to hear how much attention you pay your cats.

I guess the dachshund gave you a great gift being involved in your life at such early age and on such deep, spiritual level and this gift was also given by her to your future pets (the cats) as you had already learned the importance of this kind of relationship. I'm very grateful to her.
ronja (guest)
+3
9 years ago (2015-06-21)
[at] vanessamarie
I think I understand why you would say so and I believe you when you say you meant no offense so none taken. However, I also think you shouldn't be too concerned.

As a person, I have this tendency to build deep connection to the living creatures around me. I have had relationships with people and animals and even plants and I don't really distinguish between them in terms of importance, but rather in types of expression of affection.

Much like you show your affection differently and on different terms to your ex-classmate, best friend and father but you can love all three of them with a bit different kinds of love ranging from less personal and more universal to extremely intimate and individualized.

I think it would be cruel of me to treat a pet like I would treat a human being (i.e., expect to understand complicated reasons for my moods) but I can love them both strongly nevertheless.

Indeed, I have few connections in my life because they are quite intense for me and, having a couple of friends, family, a pet and my boyfriend is already overwhelming to me.

I also made a guess you said this because I wrote that my dead relatives understood me better than "real-life" people. This, unfortunately, is true. People around me understand parts of me, my boyfriend almost understands everything but he's not too spiritual, he doesn't get THAT, even if he listens to me.

I used to be very sad about this and looking for reasons - that I was raised by people from very different era (WW1 - WW2), that I lacked communication skills, that people were rather blunt. Around me people tend to somehow turn everything I say about themselves, even my bright psychotherapist often throws in the towel and starts intensely pushing stuff on me that I later analyze for weeks just to find not really concerning me at all, rather her. So I would suggest you look at your own loneliness issues:P

I don't know why this is so, really. Now I have stopped caring so much about being understood. When I need to be completely understood, I talk to God. You don't have to be understood to feel happy and loved. In fact, you don't really need to be understood at all as long as folks just accept you and let you be who you are, I think.
WiniPu4 (207 posts)
+2
9 years ago (2015-06-21)
Hello:

I have also had spiritual experiences with my pets while they were ill, crossing over, and after death. There have often been noises and other things happening before they passed away leading me to believe that loved ones or guardians are waiting for them. Like you, I have spoken to my pets during their passing to help guide them toward my loved ones in spirit, as well as addressing the loved ones receiving them. I don't find any of this unusual.
Since you are obviously sensitive to the spiritual side of things, you must know that our guardians and ancestors are always around, no matter where we are. They may be just reminding you of this through the lights. If you are frightened by it, then you could always tell them and kindly ask them not to do so. I am not so easily frightened by this sort of thing anymore, but instead am comforted knowing they are with me and are showing me they care.
My condolences on the loss of your furbaby. I fully appreciate the love and joy we share with them.

Blessings,
Lynev
Mac_Barbie93 (6 stories) (42 posts)
-1
9 years ago (2015-06-20)
[at] vanessamarie223:
Wow seriously? Look at you contradicting yourself. It's completely normal to mourn the loss of a pet. You would probably know if you had loved and lost one. They aren't animals, they're family. If you lost a relative or someone close, say your best friend, and someone told you to get your act together and move on, when you were mourning your loss I'm sure you wouldn't have nodded your head and said yes. I'm sure she has friends and isn't feeling 'lonely'. What is up with people these days, too many trolls competing for the 'most insensitive person' award?
Mac_Barbie93 (6 stories) (42 posts)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-20)
[at] Ronja: I'm glad I could be of some help. In their short life that they share with us, pets become such an integral part of our lives. I lost a daschund to old age when I was 2 too. I could feel her presence around me until I was 5-6 years old. To us, we spend a part of our lives with them, but they spend their entire life with us. My 19 year old Tom has slown down a bit but he loves to run around and play with his mouse toy when given to him:) him and the new cat get along really well, which is a shocker as most Tom cats don't, unless they've been bought up together. I think your dog definitely feels the presence of your cat. They've grown up together, I'm sure they were close. My cat was really sad when his companion passed away, we could tell from his behaviour that he was mourning. I'm sure your cat is still with you and is looking out for you. After all, you gave him so much love and care, humans might not be grateful but animals will always be.:)

[at] dongmaster:
I think that comment was totally uncalled for and insensitive. If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.
vanessamarie223 (1 stories) (8 posts)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-20)
I hope that I do not come across as rude or mean. Thats not how I meant for this to sound, I'm sorry for your loss but you sound extreamly lonely. Maybe find a way to make a new friend will help you.
ronja (guest)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-19)
Your butting in was very delightful indeed, Miracles53031;)
Miracles51031 (39 stories) (4999 posts) mod
 
9 years ago (2015-06-19)
ronja - butting in on your and lady-glow's conversation ๐Ÿ˜‰ That sounds like a good book ๐Ÿ˜Š
ronja (guest)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-19)
I see, Lady-glow. As I said, I also had to take time to process his comment and it is rather unnecessary, especially for people who come here in a more vulnerable state. As he provoked my emotions, I paid his comment so much attention and analysis gaining really... Nothing:)

I like this site for its dominance of people who are considerate and kind. It's very hard when it concerns religions, psychological profiles and deeply intimate matters such as death and love.

I'm very glad you took no offense โค

P.S. My username comes from this character and you are welcome to make a joke if you like:P
Https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronia_the_Robber%27s_Daughter
lady-glow (16 stories) (3149 posts)
+3
9 years ago (2015-06-19)
Ronja: the"glow" in my user name is the nickname I'm called by some of my friends.

My disposition? -Well, let me tell you that one of my professors at University once said I shouldn't talk during class because my input would turn his lecture into a laughing session. ๐Ÿ˜

As for DongMaster... His writing style will always give him up even if he changed his user name to SweetGrandmaCupCake.

Like you, I joined YGS after the passing of my cat and trying to find an answer to his visits that, sadly, I couldn't believe were real and not a product of my grief and longing for him.
I guess that's the reason why DongMaster's comment on your experience made me mad.
It's OK if he cannot believe a story, but he has no right to come here trying to convince people that they immagined their experiences, specially in the rude way he does it.

Anyway, enough of this ranting.
I hope the essence of my idea didn't get lost in my bad English.

Welcome to YGS (from a cat lover to another cat lover)
๐Ÿ˜Š
ronja (guest)
 
9 years ago (2015-06-19)
I felt rather bad all day for making this joke at your expense, Lady-glow. I just wanted to purposely illustrate what could simply be stated - even if you are a being of light, still watch how the light comes out of you.

I did that because I wasn't fond of your comment for DongMaster but I also haven't followed him around to see his general demeanor on this site.

My joke was intended lightly, too. I hope you are a person of humorous disposition. Otherwise I will be glad to apologize and send you a.pdf of 25 beautiful verbal pictures of perceptions on the term "lady-glow".
ronja (guest)
+2
9 years ago (2015-06-19)
Miracles51031,
Thank you, before posting anything I had a lengthy conversation with God who got to hear the rest of the variations on my reply.

Lady-glow,
I'm very glad my story was light to your eyes. Also, I have read your comments and most probably stories, too, on this site but I never truly looked at your username which I did now after your "trickstery".

I thought I might get back at you humorously for DongMaster until he figures out the catch for himself which I also can't by the way ^_^, (you know, eye for eye, pun for pun), and therefore I just wanted to ask if lady-glow is more of spiritual nature like maternal glow or physical nature as in fireflies and if so, where does the light come out of? ๐Ÿ˜‰
DongMaster (guest)
-3
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
Sorry I don't get the reference. Is it a Reddit thing? I'm not sure how to respond.
Miracles51031 (39 stories) (4999 posts) mod
+1
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
Lady-glow - nice catch lol wondered if anyone else would figure it out.
lady-glow (16 stories) (3149 posts)
+4
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
DungMaster: isn't it time for you to go back into the tuna can? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Ronja: this is such a sweet story, thanks for sharing it with us.
Miracles51031 (39 stories) (4999 posts) mod
+2
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
ronja - you handled that with far more class than I could, or would, have. ๐Ÿ˜Š
ronja (guest)
+6
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
[at] Tweed [at] ms_st0308 [at] Mac_Barbie93
I appreciate you sharing stories about your own pets who have passed. I'm sorry that you have lost those things they expressed in their behavior for you - such as being waited for and met with delight when you come home (as ms_st0308 mentioned) and it's nice to consider the idea in Mac_Barbie93's story that in her life it might have not been lost at all and her cat might have passed on her loveable (hopefully:) quirks to the new one.

I also think it's very nice that you could share a bit of your stories because I find it important for humans to love animals truly and also to mourn them fully and sometimes it's hard when it's a pet because, to my experience, mainstream attitude is that "it's not as big of a deal" and when we are out of stories about broken family heirlooms and kittens in tulip beds, we get few people to listen further. Although my boyfriend took a day off at his work to attend my cat's funeral.

[at] Tweed
You truly made me feel understood, thank you for that and thank you for your kind words. It's not so often when you feel a person really gets you in such subject matters so that's cool.

As to the lights, I'm very grateful for what you said. I have no idea how it is happening and maybe it doesn't matter that much as long as I learn my lesson. You are right - I usually have this brief epiphany and then I fall right back into intellectual and emotional confusion the memory of epiphany serving as some kind of mountain top I'm advancing towards step by step - that I remember exists and that I can therefore imagine for the direction.

It was comical and significant how astonished I felt realizing my emotions or borders might be taken into account by the spiritual world as well.

[at] Mac_Barbie93
Your story was meaningful to me because I was also trying to help our dog deal with the loss and I had no idea how he perceived all of it and I was worried about him as they grew up together. Now it sometimes seems to me like the cat has somehow become his own spiritual guru teaching him zen attitude that is very cat-like in its nature of "whatevers" and that our dog has started exhibiting all of a sudden:D Maybe that's just him adjusting with the loss and his own old age (when we don't want to feel totally powerless, we usually assume he's becoming deaf).

[at] DongMaster
I thought for a while but I can't come up with a reply to your comment that would be pure of heart and meaningful to me other than - I wish you well.

This comment from DongMaster is hidden due to low rating. Show comment

Mac_Barbie93 (6 stories) (42 posts)
+1
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
I lost my almost 17 year old cat to renal failure and old age in October last year. I felt the same feelings when her end was near. She passed on Monday. She was walking around until Saturday and eating her food, even though it was hardly anything. Sunday she slipped into a coma and I knew somehow that death was near. And I was scared. And I was crying. I have another cat who's 19 and they grew up together, he would constantly look up to places where she sat in and meow this happened for a month after she passed especially at night. I felt my cats presence too. Once I felt this draft of wind in my corridor And the windows were shut. Even the AC was off. After that I didn't feel her around me. I think she was saying good bye. My other cat doesn't meow like that anymore. I think he's made peace with the fact that she isn't there with us now. We now have another kitten with us, my dad got him so that my cat has company and sometimes I feel that it's my female cat who passed away who's come back in his form. He sometimes does the same things she used to do, behaviour wise.:) I think your cat is with you and he will be, as your guardian angel.
ms_st0308 (6 stories) (66 posts)
+1
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
Hi Ronja,

Thank you for your story. I also lost a pet in December 2013 and I experienced many of the same feelings you did. When you were describing that feeling of just knowing that your cat was there without actually sensing or seeing him, it reminded me so much of the weeks and months after my dog passed. I would come home and almost expect her to be waiting for at the door as usual, then I would be reminded that "Oh, wait, she's not." I understand that feeling you described!

I also had dreams about my dog after she passed. Most of them were very sad, but the last dream I had about her was, in my opinion, her saying goodbye and letting me know she was safe, happy, and healthy.
Tweed (33 stories) (2475 posts)
+2
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
Hi Ronja,

I absolutely loved reading your story and I'm so glad you went into such detail. Your insights speak to you being a deep thinker. Don't worry about story length, it's really fine, make your stories as long as you want to.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat. Your experience with him is so similar to mine who recently died. I know *exactly* what you mean about sensing death so near. Also I did a very similar thing with my cat, had him in my room for a few days. Held him, pat him etc. It helped me too. Your cat's passing obviously helped you sort out your own feelings about death. That is such a beautiful way to come to terms with your feelings about this area of life.
The thunder air feeling, that's such a great description! I've felt this too.

The light activity could be one of your deceased loved ones wanting you to know they're there. Maybe, just a guess. If it were me I wouldn't worry about it too much.
As it bothers you, it could be some of your residual old feelings about death lingering. No one changes completely over night. You may need to give yourself more time to get used to your new found wisdom concerning death. Perhaps one of your loved ones on the other side is helping you with this. By a) letting you know they're around and b) helping you adjust or become more immune to their presence. Just a thought.

Your description of your parents really made me chuckle.

A really well written and heart felt story, and a real pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing.
ronja (guest)
+1
9 years ago (2015-06-18)
I also forgot to mention that after the lights stopped turning on, I thought I should find out if mom hadn't complained to dad that I was going X Files on her and perhaps he had taken care of the wiring or something.

However, to be safe and feed my paranoia properly, I approached him while he was having his evening smoke outdoors very far from the place of incident. I asked him if he had done anything about the basement stairs sensor problem and he, in his characteristic Clint Eastwoodish manner, said, "No."

My mom doesn't fix things of such nature.

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