I've been suffering from some kind of sleeping disorder for many years. What kind of sleeping disorder? I am not sure to say. I've tried searching up the symptoms on the Internet and the closest I could relate to is 'Sleep Paralysis'.
But yet, I wasn't sure... For most of the examples I read on the Internet, 'Sleep Paralysis ' often end up with horrifying hallucinations (or ghostly encounters). But, so far, for every attacks I've experienced, I had not encounter anything that scary (and hopefully will never encounter because I am scared).
The most freaky one was actually... Wasn't much scary... And it was the only experience that I 'saw' something... Or rather someone. Before I get into that, I would like to describe what happen that made me went 'Ah! **** not another attack!'
1. Body couldn't move (Yupps the main sign of attacks)
2. There's this loud noise humming in my ears. (You know the sound that you 'make' when you... Err 'scrunched' up your ears when you are younger and didn't want to hear the person talking to you cause you were angry with the person? It's not really you 'make' the sound out loud... More likely it's just in your ears... Hmm... It's like a low humming sound? That... You make to block out other sounds... Oh man... It sounded even ridiculous as I reread what I just typed... But just a low humming sound.)
3. My body felt like it's vibrating... And I don't know how to describe properly... But it felt like light? Like any moment I might 'float' away.
4. My heart beats freakishly fast. Or was it just my hallucination or an impression made because of the vibrating feeling all over my body.
5. I could see my room as it is, as though my eyes were opened. Which always made me think I couldn't move but I am awake.
The catch is... In most 'Sleep Paralysis' stories I read online, they are often awake at that time. But, I know I wasn't awake!
The reason that I knew that I wasn't awake is - there was once I had this attack (before I know that I wasn't even awake) during the attack, my eyes were opened and I tried to move but I can't so I screamed for help. My room was lit up as I usually sleep with my lights switched on (because I am afraid of the dark). I screamed for my sister to help me to wake up from this attack. (Cause usually if someone were to talk to me and hold me I would snap up from it.) But there was no response.
The humming sound was getting louder and I was so frightened. Then I tried to reach for something, I don't know what... But I tried to gather myself together and 'force' myself to wake up from this. And usually I know it succeed when I managed to get my voice out to scream for help.
Then, my eyes flew open. And to my surprise, the room light was switched off. And usually after each attack I would cry and my sleepy sister will try to comfort me. I asked if she just switched the light off and she told me she had switched it off before she sleep (which is after I fell sleep).
That is when I know that all these while I wasn't awake at all... It's just all in my head or something. And usually after each attack, I was too shaken up to sleep again. And I felt so drained that I am really tired and I could sleep again... But I knew that if I sleep, I will have another attack again (cause I did tried to sleep after an attack and... Another attack happened...)
Moving on to the part when I had the freakiest attack that scared me the most. One year ago, I had this attack when I was napping at home in the afternoon. I felt that vibration and thought 'Not again...' But this time, there was a difference.
I heard a loud and clear 'Hello Hello!' next to my ear, as though someone was trying to get my attention. And I felt as though and a breeze blowing into my ear as the voice spoke. I was terrified as I did not have any experience like that before.
Then I 'saw' a man standing above me. One of his feet was on my chest and he was looking down at my face. His expression was confused. And the freakiest part? I recognise that face.
He was one of my ex colleague (that time he was still my colleague... I think?) I was so frightened that I started cussing in my brain and also tried to pray to whichever god to save me. (I am a free thinker but I respect every religion and believe that there are Gods.) When I finally 'woke' up, I started crying and ran to my mum's room (and I was 21 going to 22).
That colleague I was talking about is alive... But... He didn't went to work for quite some time (around the period I had that attack). And I heard from others that he was in the hospital cause he fell down and knocked his head or something and was in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) and that made me totally freaked out. But thankfully he recovered but I didn't see him since. (He was a part timer and err his working attitude wasn't great... So yeah.) That was the first and (hopefully) last time I experience an attack with 'hallucination'.
Back to the question again, is this Sleep Paralysis? Or was it an attempt on astral projecting? (I have read up on something about Astral Projection and I heard that they get the vibrating feeling before leaving the body or something?
Not sure but I think I might had astral project before when I was much younger, maybe around 6 years old, Cause I remember feeling giddy when I slept and it's like the world is spinning and when I opened my eyes, I am facing the ceiling and that shocked me and the next thing I know is that I am lying on my bed and expected I cried and woke my poor sleeping grandma).
Or whatever is this weird experience is... But what I know is that it's really draining my energy and now I have to rely on muscle relaxant or Panadol or anything to make me sleepy before I fall asleep... Because I am too scared to sleep. And every night when I am on the verge to sleep I will force myself to open my eyes, fearing that I am going to have an attack soon.
The most recent attack was on the 1st of October and I couldn't get back to sleep again because I was scared.
Any suggestions to what is this? And what should I do to stop this or anything?
Ps; I know there is a website for OBE and stuffs but I really don't know which category this falls in.