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My Daughter Saw My Friend


One of my friends was sick of cancer. (I'm starting to hate that illness). We all knew it was just days left. She told me when I last visited her (together with my daughter who is 2yo) that she was preparing herself to go to a beautiful place without pain. We both cried and lauged and such. Then somehow the discussion came to the "if you die let us know you're ok"part. She said she would and then my 2yo said yes yes (normally almost everything is no no NOOOOO). And kept playing with lego and showing us lego pieces she stuck together.

I woke up on Monday feeling that I had to check Facebook. I did and saw my friend died. I called my mom (who is also suffering from cancer and labeled terminally ill but with some more time on the clock) and we cried. My daughter hugged me and said, "mama lady good now". That forced me to smile. I let her pick out the card to send to her family and loved ones. Again my daughter hugged me and said "oh mama lady like flower YES". (ok she said something similar in Dutch but this seems the best translation). So I gave her some crayons and told her to decorate the card, because my friend would have loved that.

My little one nodded her head and said "yes mama yes nice'.

She decorated it like a 2 year old would do, with loads of circles, lines and in this case orange. Normally she picks yellow green and purple. But not this time.

I took her out of the chair, told her that I was going to write something on the card and that she could play a bit with her toys. It took me sometime to find and write the words. Suddenly the ninjago lego dropped down of the bookshelf. I looked at my daughter to see if she was somehow throwing it down. She looked at me, pointing to the bookshelf and said, "lady naughty, no lego, daddies lego, stay off".

I asked her what she saw, and she took me to the computer where the Facebook page of my friend was still open. She pointed to a picture and said naughty, naughty lego lady. I started to laugh loudly, changed to an other friend of mine. I asked my daughter is that lady was the naughty lady, and her answer was NOOOO, showed her another friend and NOOO was her answer.

So I went back to my friends page and my little girl said YES and jumped up, running to the front door and started waving and saying "bye lady bye, no pain, beautiful, kiss, bye." She came back and said lady happy, lady gone.

I went on Facebook to speak with an friend that also knew the friend who died. We both typed something, hit enter and guess what?

We both told each other that our friend came to say goodbye. My friend told me, our friend loved flowers and lotus flowers were her favorite. Guess what flower was on the card? Then my friend said that she would wear bright orange to the funeral. I asked why and she told me it was our friends favorite colour. I think my daughter knew somehow or was told by our friend.

We both really liked it so and who are we to say my daughter has a vivid imagination? We both do think she saw our friend. And that our friend tried to play with the lego as she couldn't do the last time I saw her.

Thank you for reading

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, iez, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

CuriousDee (8 stories) (631 posts)
6 years ago (2018-02-19)
Such a beautiful experience! I absolutely believe your friend was visiting you and your daughter. I'm sorry for your loss, and prayers for your mother too. ❤❤

Thank you for sharing 😊
Sarah (1 stories) (53 posts)
6 years ago (2018-02-19)
Hi, sorry on the loss of your friend, but your story just made my day 🙂

I got goosebumps reading it and it makes me very happy to think of an afterlife 🙂

iez (4 stories) (14 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-03)
And thank you for letting me create this monument for my departed friend. Everytime I read my story I feel that it is ok, Okay to have experienced this and ok for sharing.
iez (4 stories) (14 posts)
6 years ago (2018-01-03)
Thank you all for reading and adding comments. It made me cry to read your pains/losses/fears. And I'm also happy at the same point, we are not alone, and we somehow know our friends/family/loved ones surely are at a good place.
My daughter sometimes takes me by the hand (when we are hiking or just downtown) and says look mama look. And points something out. I cann't see a thing strange, so I ask her to go there and point and mostly she that says something like, ooh gone. Even in a pitch dark car, she did this.
Maybe because after 5 days of her birth she was on the etch of dying herself (born at 32+5 weeks. Maybe that made her more sensitive?

[at] Jubeele
My little girl never said anything again, no lego dropped anymore. When she sees the picture of my friend (it is standing on a shelf), she points sometimes and says lego lady. That is all she does atm (ooh and getting happy when I ask her to go to the toilet;) )
RedWolf (31 stories) (1292 posts)
6 years ago (2017-11-17)

Such a beautiful story. Cancer took both of my parents and a few other family members, heart disease and strokes too.
When my grandfather died my in-laws were watching my then 4 year old and 10 month old. My daughter wanted to say good bye to my grandfather so I brought her to the casket and she had me hold her so she could kiss him goodbye. I started crying and she took her hands to dry my tears and told me not to cry grandpa wanted me to smile. I asked her how she knew and she said that when she kissed him he told her to say stop crying doll to me. Doll was a term of endearment my grandfather used on all of us girls.

chelscp11 (3 stories) (13 posts)
7 years ago (2017-11-15)
Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. I believe my father visits my kids. They wake up smiling saying papa papa and they don't have a papa that is living. He also came to me in a dream to tell me he is around us not missing a thing. So sorry for youe loss. The most beautiful part of believing in the afterlife is knowing that we will one day be together with our loved ones. ❤
AugustaM (7 stories) (996 posts)
7 years ago (2017-11-13)
Cancer has taken its toll on my family as well and developing it myself is my biggest fear. I think your friend absolutely did come to say goodbye - good thing your daughter's wide open perception of childhood was there to sense and see her. ❤
Jubeele (26 stories) (897 posts)
7 years ago (2017-11-12)
This is such a beautiful, comforting account, Iez. Sadly, my family is no stranger to cancer too. My heart goes out to you for your loss.

I think that your little girl, in all her innocence, was communicating with your departed friend. After all, you asked your friend to tell you that she's ok, and your daughter had said "yes" to that request too. That must have somehow enabled a link to be formed between them for that purpose. Has your daughter said anything else since?

My heartfelt wishes to you, your family and especially your mother. Thank you for sharing this special experience. Take care of yourselves. ❤
notjustme (19 stories) (852 posts)
7 years ago (2017-11-12)
Iez - What a beautiful experience! Thanks for sharing with us. Though very sad your friend is no longer physically here, I find comfort knowing she is no longer in pain and has move on nicely ❤ sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she kicks cancer's ass. It took my mother 20 something years ago. I have seen her and know she is in a good place now.

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