I was abused as a child. The events I experienced as a child lead me to depression at a young age and I was full out suicidal when I was 11. When I was a teenager, I changed my name to start over and tried to become a new person. For privacy reasons I will not use my real names and instead will be Sarah and Lauren.
I've recently been through a lot of soul searching and spirtuality. I'm trying to forgive myself for being abused and for all the mistakes I've made and I've been having a lot of weird experiences like increased intuition and finding coins, among others. Today was one I have never felt before.
It's important to include this next part in here. My name was Sarah when I was a child. I hated my name and hated when people used it. By becoming Lauren, I thought I could be happy and I got a little happier but the underlying issues still ate at me.
I'm a grown woman now. And I'm confronting all the pain inside me. Changing my name was a knee jerk decision and just like that, I felt new. Or so I thought. I still had the pain from the abuse and the further I looked inside myself, the more I realized Sarah was screaming out.
Inside of me was the wounded little girl who had never healed so I couldn't. I had denied this part of me for so long, trying to convince myself I was healed. Finally, I acknowledged her and today, I heard a little girl call my own name when I was home alone in the bathroom.
It was my voice, my own ghost or spirit. I heard myself today after years of crying out.
In order for myself to heal, I have to heal her too because we are one in the same. I never expected to hear my own ghost, but I'm glad I did.