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Death Of A Friend But Not The Friendship


I'm reaching out, due to confusion-- I need help with clarity.

I dated a man off and on from about 2002 to 2006. The relationship was more of a loving friendship, rather than romantic. Whenever I needed him-- he was there and vice versa, though, me being a single woman in Atlanta at the time, I called on him more.

After a while, I began dating someone seriously and Christian (not real name) and I lost touch, but with social media we linked up via MySpace around 2008 or 2009, I believe. We chatted and he expressed that he'd been searching for me and was elated to have found me on the social media platform; however, Facebook came along and I abandoned that account and again lost contact with Christian.

Last year in 2017, I began to feel an urgent need to speak with him, but couldn't locate him anywhere. I was in dire straits. I looked up his business, which was now defunct. I searched his name and city-- nothing. So, after a few weeks of looking into finding him, I gave up.

Last week I was looking through my jewelry and became fixated on a Tiffany's necklace he'd bought for me, so of course, I decided to begin my search again and this time I found him-- his obituary came up-- he died weeks ago. There was no cause of death in anything I read, but from the condolences page, it seems it was sudden.

I am lost right now and confused. I don't understand how with everything available that I couldn't find him. Do you all think that last year I had a hunch regarding his passing (I am an empath). Or was he possibly searching for me too? Was the necklace a coincidence?

My clarity is warped right now. Any advice would be appreciated.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, CreoleEmpath, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Cups (7 stories) (159 posts)
6 years ago (2018-08-14)
You are so welcome, CreoleEmpath. Augusta - spot on! I completely agree. I still cannot get over the way you had to learn of his death... For some reason, that really resonated with me. So heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing this with us. ❤
CreoleEmpath (3 stories) (12 posts)
6 years ago (2018-08-14)
Cups and AugustaM,

Thank you for your input-- it's valuable and appreciated.

He was definitely one of my soulmates and I hope to see him again. And I do hope, that he knows, I'd be searching for him.
AugustaM (7 stories) (996 posts)
6 years ago (2018-08-14)
I was never a fan of "Jane Eyre" but one part always stuck with me - when Mr, Rochester explains to her that he feels as though there is a string from his heart to hers binding the two of them together. In my view, that is the best description of love; it is a bond. No matter how far apart you may be. No matter how often you speak. No matter whether you even "like" each other at the time. If the bond is true, it is nearly impossible to break.

I really believe there is more to that kind of connection than simple physical science is capable of explaining. Maybe it isn't ghostly but it certainly is psychic in my opinion. I think when your friend passed, you received a tug on that line. You may not have understood it at the time but you *felt* it. The emotion that made you frantic to find him may have been an unrecognized feeling of loss.
Cups (7 stories) (159 posts)
6 years ago (2018-08-13)
I agree with RCRuskin... I also think maybe "something" was pushing you to find Christian so you'd have a chance to say goodbye, or see him one more time? It sounds like you had a deep connection with him over the years, so it makes sense for you to be pulled towards the necklace. It may be a coincidence, but either way, it prompted you to search for him.

What an awful way to learn of a loved one's death. I hope you can find some closure. ❤
CreoleEmpath (3 stories) (12 posts)
6 years ago (2018-08-13)
Thank you, RCRuskin!

I was certainly planning to visit his grave.
RCRuskin (9 stories) (829 posts)
6 years ago (2018-08-11)
Hi, Creole Empath.

Can't really tell if this is ghostly or not, but it has touches of it. Remembering your friend at about the time of his death but not being able to find anything about it until later, so it does sound like he reached out to you.

Events of this can get a little weird and mess with your head. As an example, non-ghostly, I became convinced a friend was having a bad thing happen, grabbed my phone to call, and got a busy signal. When we did connect, a few minutes later, it turned out my friend had the same feeling about me, hence the busy phone. We got a good laugh out of it.

Or maybe it was a ghostly experience I had of some sort?

In your case, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Grieve for your friend, maybe visit his grave if you can to say goodbye.

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