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Was It Her Spirit?


I'm not sure if this is the correct site to post this - it pales in comparison to some of the stories I have read. I don't know if this is paranormal or just normal. I have an explanation for what I remember, but I don't understand why I remember it in such detail. The explanation: it's all in my head, my imagination. What I don't understand, considering when this happened, is why it is the memory still so vivid?

It was 29 years ago, an average ordinary Saturday evening in March. My friend (will call my friend 'P') and I were driving around, as we usually did (on the highway). We were driving back to P's hometown. There is a bend in the road that skirts around a small hill. The hill is tall enough that I couldn't see the town from where we were positioned, but I could see the clouds above were illuminated from the streetlights in town. I do remember thinking that that looked amazing.

We rounded the corner, not far behind another vehicle. I recall the tail lights. I remember noting that a vehicle was approaching in the opposite lane so I glanced down at the speedometer to confirm that I wasn't speeding, proceeded to glance over and see that P was putting out a cigarette in the ashtray. Looking at the speedometer, then the cigarette would have taken a split second.

The next thing I remember was someone in a crouched position on the other side of the driver's door. The glass must have broken because I don't recall rolling the window down. I recognized the man (but I can't remember his name - EMS) and I clearly understood what he was saying, but the only words I remember where "don't look over there". He was referring to my friend.

I was calm and I can't figure out why. Hearing his instruction, being somewhat defiant at that age, I looked toward my friend. I can still clearly see what P is wearing. I can see how P's hair was. I can see the white runners, black pants, and P's jacket - green felt torso with white leather sleeves.

P was rested against the seat, left arm resting in P's lap. P's head was tilted toward the passenger door, so I could not see P's face.

As I was looking at P, my peripheral vision blurred, a white light appeared about the same time as P's soul. (I will call it that because I don't know what else to call what I saw) The white light's point of origin was behind P. P stood there, looking at me. "Are you coming?"

I looked at P momentarily and in processing the question, I turned my head and looked through the windshield. I saw multiple vehicles; I saw people seeming to run around the scene. I looked a bit more to my left and saw fire trucks. I saw fire hoses lying on the asphalt. I noted the street lights and grain elevators that lined the highway.

Then I thought about my 17 living years. I thought about all the things I haven't done. I thought "That's it? Seventeen years and that it? Still processing what P had asked, I was almost disappointed in life, thinking that seventeen years really isn't long enough to have accomplished anything (although from a seventeen year olds perspective, that's a long time). I hadn't actually made up my mind, whether or not I was going with P. I looked back in the direction of the fire trucks, looked straight ahead through the windshield, then looked back at P. Now I was thinking nothing. I just looked at P.

P did a 'Mona Lisa' smile, turned and started walking away - further into the white light. P faded at the same rate as the white light. When the light completely faded, the scenery was back to night time colours of dark blue and black.

What I remember next was being in the emergency room, arguing with the doctor. And that is where my life continued and P's didn't.

What adds to my confusion and misunderstanding is how this memory (?) was revived. Apparently, I told this story to someone visiting me when I was in ICU. I was on morphine, so I don't remember telling anyone this (I don't remember much being on morphine). This person relayed this story back to me a few weeks after.

Being on morphine, and what I remember, versus what actually happened is actually comical. For instance, one night while in the hospital, I decided to walk to a friend's house - in my head, I wasn't in the hospital, I was sitting in the living room. What actually happened, I pulled out all the needles, tubes and whatever else was attached, and started walking down the hospital hallway.

I don't know if my mind created this false memory or if it is an actual memory. If it was a morphine induced memory, why can I remember talking to the EMS, while I was still sitting in the vehicle? If it was a morphine induced memory, why did P's soul wait around until I decided whether or not I was coming with? Why can I still see the expression (or lack of) on P's face as P turned and walked away?

I guess I'm looking for confirmation. I want to believe that what I remember is what actually happened. There are many skeptics in my life - I don't actually know how many people, family or otherwise, I have told this story too - therefore, I don't know who would believe me or how I would feel if they did.

I'm looking for confirmation, because if I can get that, then a few things that have happened in my life since then would become a whole lot more acceptable (in my eyes).

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, poopsie298, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

aussiedaz (19 stories) (1565 posts)
4 years ago (2020-01-07)

Yes,I have read many accounts of people surviving near fatal accidents and then coming back more psychic than they were before especially if there was any head trauma?.

Some folk have come back and found themselves musical or artistic geniuses, it vary's from person to person. Perhaps the microtubules are altered to a point where the person alters their consciousness enough to be this different person with different abilities? I do remember this one account where a man became a full on psychic to a point he gave professional readings.

Regards Daz
poopsie298 (1 stories) (1 posts)
4 years ago (2020-01-06)
I really appreciate the comments! I do have a question... It it possible, after experiencing that, that it may have opened up a channel (s) to a spiritual world (I think that sounds very odd, but I don't know how else to word it)?

I have had a few moments over the last few years that have caused me to question my sanity. I am pretty sure I know what I have seen (in my peripheral) and what I have sensed and felt, but having no one to discuss it with makes it seem improbable.
silverthane61 (4 stories) (344 posts)
4 years ago (2019-11-18)
You wrote a very poignant NDE. I believe what you experienced was both real and relevant, though I do consider the possibility of some memories gathered through a a haze of pain-killers to be mostly dreams. The other comments on this site also appear to be consistent and easy to understand and agree with. You seem to have been graced with an episode in your life that not many people ever witness. The most common single unifying factor in people who have NDE's is the change in their lives to a more positive and purposeful bent. Good post!
aussiedaz (19 stories) (1565 posts)
4 years ago (2019-11-17)
Our souls often do preplan a few exit points prior to coming into the physical matrix of life as we know it. My intuition tells me you and P belong to the same soul group and you both at one stage in the spiritual realm discussed the possibility of an exit point together.

This accident was meant to be and your decision to stick around has also served another purpose. Perhaps dealing with the loss of P? Or maybe the answers are in your life now?

The Mona lisa smile was P letting you know she's happy she's going home. The harder choice was to stay, we don't really die you know... We are eternal spiritual beings having a physical experience in a mad house, I so very much look forward to going home myself when it's time.

Thank you for sharing a heart felt story.

Regards Daz
Cherubim (14 stories) (245 posts)
4 years ago (2019-11-17)
I believe what you saw and experienced was real. There are lots of skeptics in my life too, so I share what's happened and still happening to me here. To me your story is too detailed to be drug induced. I've heard other people describe a departing soul the way you have as well being in the "white light." I'm so sorry for your loss but believe you will see P again. ❤ God bless you!
LuciaJacinta (8 stories) (291 posts)
4 years ago (2019-11-17)
Very moving story. I believe it occurred and was a life or death choice for you. I have had a few NDE myself. There are so many things we don't understand in this life. The answers can be found within yourself over much praying, reflecting and asking for guidance to reveal what these things mean. May P's journey into the next world bring you peace. I'm sorry for your loss.
Rex-T (5 stories) (288 posts)
4 years ago (2019-11-17)

Welcome to YGS.

Like you and Melda, I too have woken from a coma with memories of events that seemed like a bunch of unrelated "wild" dreams.

I had plenty of time in ICU to contemplate these dreams and as I learnt more about my recovery, I realized that the majority of dreams seemed to mirror real events (while I was unconscious) or yearnings to escape the hospital for a world where I was healthy again.

One dream, however, never faded or changed and I started to believe that it was not a dream as such, but something else that I couldn't explain. I discussed this experience with my wife, and she urged me to publish my experience on YGS, which I did a year ago.

I sought help to understand my experience 15 months after the event. The incident still fresh in my mind (as it is today). For you, to still remember your experience so clearly after 29 years, I think that you already know that this was no drug induced addition to what happened. I also know that there are good people on this site that can help you understand what has and (possibly) is still happening.

Say a prayer for your friend P, who (I suspect) is still keeping an eye on you.

Melda (10 stories) (1363 posts)
4 years ago (2019-11-17)
Poopsie - What an extraordinary experience.

What I am thinking is that P asked you whether you were going with her because at that time she didn't realise that she had passed on. I believe that after a sudden unexpected death it may take a while for the soul to realise that it no longer inhabits the body it has left behind.

I also believe that what you experienced at that accident site actually happened.

Many things happen when we are unconscious or in a coma. Most are probably hallucinations but I am of the opinion that the soul is able to travel and see things which remain etched in our memory.

I was in a coma for two weeks and I think that most events I experienced were hallucinations. However, I believe that during that time I visited my home because I found myself in my kitchen talking to my son but he didn't answer and I found it extremely frustrating. He looked around him, as though slightly confused and then continued making his sandwich.

So yes, many things which most people would put down to hallucination are sometimes not hallucination at all.

Regards, Melda
Lealeigh (5 stories) (512 posts)
4 years ago (2019-11-16)
Hi poopsie298,

Wow! What an incredibly moving story. You have told it very well and in a way that has made me feel anxiety in my forearms.

I don't know if this is normal but when my blood pressure does anything out of the ordinary, I feel it first in my forearms. 😨

I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. Throughout your story, I kept thinking that her name was Pamela. I wonder if I am close. I'm not asking you to tell me if I am.

I believe very strongly that you saw your friend before she passed to the other side. It gave me chills when she waited to see if you would also come... Because you had a choice and you remained here because you are strong.

I'm putting your story into my favorites. Thank you very much for sharing it.

- Maria ❤

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