My father had a fabulous sense of humor. He was my hero when I was a child. He always knew how to make everyone laugh. My Mom died when I was a teenager. He and I were left and shared many experiences. I was feeling afraid of being without him. He had been a strong powerful person. He was 88 and dying in 2004. It was hard to see him succumb to lung cancer. At one point he looked around the room and said... "Wow I created this". It was as if his soul was speaking to me. It surprised me because he was not a religious or spiritual man.
He told me his favorite memory of me and asked my favorite memory of him.
I was thrown by that question. I have great memories and wished I could have thought of a better one than this one. I literally didn't know what to say. I should have said the sound of his voice singing in the shower. But all I could think of was this. I was trying to keep the mood light. I asked him if he remembered being angry with a neighbor that allowed his dog to "go" in front of our driveway? My Dad took the dog doo doo on a shovel and put it in front of the mans doorway so that he'd step in it on his way out. My Dad said, "I am a dying man and you're talking about dog s__t?"
The night before his funeral, I asked for a sign that he was o.k. I was staring at the shadow of the window blinds on the ceiling. I woke up and went to the window to open the blinds and there on the sill were two pieces of my cats' doo doo (with litter stuck to them). My cat was elderly and unable to jump up that high. There was litter stuck to it. How is that possible? It was my Dads' humor... I am SURE of that! I put the 'you know what' in a plant because I couldn't throw it out.
I know he would enjoy the fact that unbeknown his 3rd wife, the funeral director, who knew my Dad, gave me his ashes. My Dad wanted to be cremated and scattered over the Hudson River. The day we were to bury his ashes (her wishes), the funeral director gave me a bag when she wasn't looking. It was my Dad's ashes. I took the ferry boat (that was named for his cousin) and was able to give him his wish. I think he would've enjoyed that he was in my purse at a luncheon with the 'step family' before I was able to grant his final wish. His name may be on the tombstone but he is where he wanted to be and I can see the Hudson from my hall window!