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My Childhood Experience


This story started when I was 8. I had this dream about my older cousin, Ricky. (who was 14 at that time) In my dream, I saw him walking so I followed him but he kept telling me to go back and that I can't go with him but I didn't listen and kept following him. He walked and walked and walked, it seemed forever then finally we reached this place. It's all grass with one lone kalamansi tree (Philippine lime) then he said, "I'm here" you can go back now. I wanted to stay with him but he got so upset, he yelled at me and push me and that's when I woke up, very exhausted, it's as if I had just came from a long hike.

That morning, still feeling tired I got up to get ready for school. My mom came to my room to tell me that my cousin is in the living room, he had asked my mom if it's ok with her if we go swimming for a bit and my mom said yes. I was very excited, the beach is only a few steps away from our house but my mom only let's me go if my dad or my cousin is with me. When we got to the beach my cousin told me that he had this dream last night but can't remember what it was about. The only thing he remembered was I was in it and that he woke up tired and felt like he needed to comfort me that's why he came.

He walks and picks me up to and from school everyday, so that day as he was leaving from my school, he told me to definitely wait for him (as sometimes, I get bored waiting so I would just leave with out him). I just laughed and went to my classroom. In the room while waiting for the bell to ring for recess (10am) I had this sudden urge to look outside and my cousin was there waving at me, I smiled and wave back and point the bench using my mouth/lips (we filipinos have this habit of using our mouth/lips to point at things)

As soon as the bell rang I ran outside to look for him but he was nowhere to be found. He wasn't at the bench so I thought maybe he didn't understand me when I pointed the bench so I just went to the canteen/cafeteria and got some snacks. 12pm, we were release for an hour lunch, I usually go home since my house is really close, but no one was home so I thought they were at the store (we use to own a mini grocery store). So I went and Mom was there but she was closing the store and was crying, I asked her what was wrong and she cried even harder. Then I saw my Dad. He told me that Ricky got into some kind of accident and passed away. I got so mad, I was kicking everything around me and was yelling at my Dad, LIAR! I saw him, he came to my school.

I really don't remember what happened after but my Mom said, I insisted on going back to school. My Mom and aunt went with me and they waited outside the classroom. When it was time for me to go home, I sat down at the bench by the gate of my school and refused to leave and insist that I have to wait for Rick., so they sat there with me when all of sudden my Mom felt the hair of her right arms stand up and at that same time, I smiled out of nowhere and started to walk quietly. (I really don't remember any of this, my mom just shared this with me a few years after. I don't even remember how the funeral went, they had to bury him the same day because of the nature of his remains)

In our culture, we have this thing called "pasiyam". Basically we pray for the soul of the departed loved one for 9 days. On the 1st night of the pasiyam, my aunt (Ricky's mom) was very upset with me because I was acting as if nothing happened. I was running around, laughing out loud, and was just happy. My mom told me to stop and I did, and they just went on with the pasiyam. When they finish, they noticed that I disappeared. They looked all over the house but couldn't find me until my cousin Emma (Ricky's older sister) suggested to try looking at the back of their house by the kalamansi tree and true enough, I was there. I was just babbling as if I was talking to someone. They asked her how did she know where to look, and she just said that is their favorite hang out spot (meaning Ricky and I) and this went on until the last day of the pasiyam (again, I don't remember any of this and was just shared to me years after).

A few months after, his parents and older sister migrated to US but before they left, they asked me to take care of his grave. So every Sunday after church I would stop by his grave and bring flowers, light a candle and clean. People got use to seeing me there.

Years passed and this time I was 16. On the morning of my finals, my Mom and I got into a huge fight (I couldn't even remember what we were fighting about). I was walking to my school but I was crying so hard I just couldn't go. I wanted someone to talk to but all my friends were busy studying, it being finals week. So I just went to my cousin's grave and cried my eyes out and told him all my disappointments. I probably got tired of crying I fell asleep. It was really dark already when I woke up so I got up and said goodbye.

As I was walking through the graves, I saw my parents and a group of neighbors. They had been looking for me all day after the school called to let my parents know that I didn't show up for the finals. It never came to them that I would be at the cemetery all that time until someone told them that she had seen me at the cemetery talking to this guy that she doesn't know (you see in our small town, everyone knows everyone). And that I was crying hard/ you can just imagine my mom's horror when she heard I was with a guy in a cemetery. I told my parents that I was not with a guy, I was just letting my frustration out by crying and talking out loud, but my parent's believe that my cousin was there listening to me.

My Grandmother said that my dream was a premonition and if I had stayed with him in that "place" I would have died in my sleep/ I'm not sure if I believe this but the elderly in my town strongly believe it.

Thank you for reading and I'm very sorry if it's a bit long.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, smartwater, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

rookdygin (24 stories) (4458 posts)
10 years ago (2012-08-15)

Has that experience been published yet?

As far as a friend or relative returning and 'asking' us to 'join them' I can believe that they do... IF it's time for 'us' to cross over.

I do not understand why a loved one would ask for us to 'join them' before our 'natural time' is done here in the physical realm. This seems a very 'selfish' thing to do and as I believe in (This is not something I say very often) 'Heavenly Father' and His Son, Jesus Christ, because of my 'Faith' I do not feel any of our Loved Ones who have crossed over and 'joined Him' would be so selfish as to ask us to join them... This is something a negative spirit/entity may do... In an attempt to find some sort of 'comfort'. Or (thinking as I type here) not being negative perhaps they do this in a 'fit' of loneliness as they do not understand what has happened to them.

Thanks for sharing I hope to hear more from you.


50ftqueen (5 stories) (34 posts)
10 years ago (2012-08-15)
[at] rookdygin, i've posted a story about my friend that came back for 'sundo'. He really was beckoning to me, motioning for me to go with him. I've not sure whether it was some other entity, but I know in my heart of hearts it was him.
TruthInDarkness (4 stories) (259 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-06)
Sad story. I have also had at least one premonition in the form of 3 dreams with a common theme. It happened over 15 years ago. All 3 dreams involved me looking for the person who was my girlfriend at the time. I was never able to find her in any of the dreams. This was a long distance relationship. Being young and dumb, I thought it would last. We had been "together" for a little over a year when I had the dreams. The relationship went down hill a month later. After a couple of painful weeks, I thought we had patched things up. She allegedly intended on moving in with me and even sent some of her stuff to me. Then, a little over 2 months after the dreams she came to my house seemingly intent on staying. Completely out of the blue, she left 2 days later. We hadn't argued or fought. I was under the impression everything was fine. She even kissed me before I went to work that day. The next thing I knew she had left a note stating some personal things and that she was leaving... For good.

She went home and joined the Navy shortly thereafter. As far as I know, she's still alive and well. She's married and has a few kids. It took me a LONG time to close that chapter in my life. The wounds took much longer than I'd like to admit to heal. Let's leave it at that.

I definitely know how you feel about your cousin. I was dealt a huge blow when my father-in-law, who was a better father to me than my birth father ever will be, died in 2003 at the age of 57.
JustCurious (2 stories) (434 posts)
11 years ago (2011-08-17)
So sorry to hear about your loss. Its good to hear that your watching after his grave. I think that when he showed up at school he was wanting to say good bye before crossing over.

Carala11 (8 posts)
11 years ago (2011-08-17)
I lost someone that I really loved. It was really hard to see she was gone. But I got over it in a month. Don't worry. You will always have her in your heart ❤.
I lost two of my relatives, three of my hamsters, and 1 fish. It is hard to say goodbye. But try to get something to cheer you up. Like when I lost my hamster. I went out to where she was, picked her dead hard furry body up, and cuddled and cried on her. I missed her. I still do. 😭
taz890 (12 stories) (1380 posts)
11 years ago (2011-08-17)
what a sad story, so sorry for your loss.
It was very touching to read that he came to say goodby to you while you were in your class.
I can understand why you say that you don't recall the things you did and had to be told, loosing someone close is very painful and it is easyer for young people to lock away memories that can cause pain, even ones like yours with him still around.

Thank you for sharing 😊
smartwater (6 stories) (19 posts)
11 years ago (2011-08-17)
thank you moongrim for reading my story;)

[at] Javelina, I have been wanting to share this experience here but everytime I starts to write I can never finish it so I thought maybe I wasn't ready yet and then finally last week, I was able to finish it smoothly:)

[at] 50ftqueen, Thank you for explaining it;)

[at] Rook, I have heard different meanings of "Sundo" but people from my town believes that "Sundo" is/are loved one/s and comes only to fetch when it is your "time"
rookdygin (24 stories) (4458 posts)
11 years ago (2011-08-17)

Thank you for explaining that... But I do have a question... Is it really the 'Loved One' that comes back, or some other 'entity' that wants to mislead the living into 'crossing over'? I find it hard to believe that someones 'real Family or Loved one' would ask them to follow them into 'death'.

I have a Theory that when a relative that has passed on visits in a dream it's a sign they have crossed over and are no longer 'earth bound'.

I must say however... The Cousin may have prevented the O/P from being hurt or worse by 'sending them home' in the dream. Thereby ensuring that what came next was only experienced by the Cousin... Just a thought or two...


Your comments are becoming more and more irritating and down right rude and while you are welcome to your opinions please think about what you are going to say and if you still think it must be said find a better way to say it...


50ftqueen (5 stories) (34 posts)
11 years ago (2011-08-16)
[at] moongrim, filipinos have a strong sense of the supernatural, especially "sundo". (roughly translated: to fetch), when a dead relative or friend appears to you and asks you to go with them in a dream, you will die. Closest thing to explain what smartwater could have gone through, even though her dream was a premonition.
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
11 years ago (2011-08-16)
[at] smartwater,
Thank you for sharing such a personal experience with us. Your story was sad and sweet at the same time. I'm very sorry for your loss.
I do believe your parents know what they talking about when they say you were communicating with Ricky. It just makes sense. You two were so close.
It is so sad that it started out with the dreaming you both did the night before.
I am happy to hear you still take care of his grave too.
Thank you again for sharing your story with us.

Jav ❤
Moongrim (2 stories) (871 posts)
11 years ago (2011-08-16)
And how exactly could they have known that if you had stayed in that place, you would've died? Because apparently anyone and everyone who does so in a dream- dies...right?

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