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Missed Dinner


As my husband and I raised our family, we were lucky to meet a couple who would become very dear friends. Eileen and I would even trade baby sitting favors as our children were not that far apart in age.

As our families grew and evolved, we enjoyed many barbeques together, we belonged to a lot of the same church and neighborhood groups. We became family. Unfortunately, as our children got older and life evolved a bit more, we didn't seem to spend as much time together. We would still visit, share pictures of grand children, etc. But we had grown apart a bit over the years.

In January of this year a received a belated Christmas card from them, sharing new photos of their darling three grand sons. The card contained a letter explaining why the Christmas card was delayed. Eileen had been in the hospital off and on and Jay was trying to make the best holiday season for her as he could. The letter went on saying that Eileen had been diagnosed with kidney cancer. She was under going Chemotherapy treatments and the out look was good.

After receiving the card and the letter, I called and expressed concern and care. We had made plans to go to dinner the following week. The evening came, my husband and I were getting ready to head out to meet Eileen and Jay at the restaurant when the phone rang. Jay said Eileen wasn't having a good day and they needed to cancel. We let him know we under stood and he could call us and we would reschedule.

We never did reschedule the dinner. Eileen's health was precarious at best. I stopped at their home a few times, but each time she was sleeping or not well enough for visitors. Jay explained that she was embarrassed by her appearance after several rounds of Chemotherapy. I asked him to let her know that physical appearances meant nothing to me. He said he would.

Two weeks later I was in my front yard with my grand son sweeping all the old salt off the side walk from the wonderful Nebraska ice storms. I heard a car horn toot and turned around. It was Eileen!

She had pulled up to the walk in her mini van and was ginning from ear to ear. I went over to the open window and greeted her. I asked how she was feeling. She told me she was much better, the treatments were working and she was going shopping. She was all alone in her vehicle and looked wonderful! She looked just as she had three or four years ago. I remarked how well she looked.

As we bid each other good by, she told me she would call me in a couple weeks and we could finally get together for dinner. I told her I was looking forward to it.

Eileen passed away this last Monday. Her family indicated she had been in the hospital for three weeks, she was tired of fighting.

I have had visits from friends and family saying their good byes after they had passed.

How can this be explained? Apparently on the day Eileen visited me and greeted my grand son and my self in her van, she was hospitalized in a medically induce coma.

I am having a hard time with this one...

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, KimSouthO, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

balotsky (1 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-24)
I'm new here, and I've been reading your stories since I joined ygs... Your experiences are really overwhelming. I pray that you will continously have the strength and faith that you have. More stories to share 😁
Caz (342 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-24)
Kim...Did you ever tell her family this? I think they would have taken comfort from knowing that it wasn't really her lying helplessly in that hospital bed, but only her shell! She was out and about doing her own thing... Having fun... Visiting a much loved I wonder if she did! I wouldn't be at all surprised! I hope that you can take comfort from that too!
lazria (9 stories) (82 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-23)
I'm sorry for your loss. It was probably as several of the others expressed; her spirit wanting to come and say her last good bye to her friend. She was probably worried that she never did get to see you, and because of her worry of her appearance, which is why you saw her as she hoped you would remember her. I would take it as good sign that your friend cared and loved you.
Delsol (2 stories) (13 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-22)
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Shakespear

Dear Kim, maybe we aren't supposed to wrap our heads around this one - it's just too beautiful. 😁
Fanny (2 stories) (105 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-22)
KimSouth, I'm truly sorry for your loss. I hope you can find a little spot in your heart to be happy she felt you were an important enough person in her life for her to need to say a proper good-bye. Take solice in the fact that she is no longer is pain. She is whole, happy and healed.

Fanny ❤
Elephante81 (2 stories) (59 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-22)
These kinds of stories mystify me. It truly shows how little we know about the human spirit and how wonderful it can be 😁 Goosebumps all down my arms reading this one!
Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry about your loss ❤
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1523 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-22)
Kim that is the way your friend wants you to remember her grinning from ear to ear... There may have been a time where I would have thought turning up in a car from beyond was impossible and just not logical... Somehow through the bio mechanics of the spiritual world and perhaps with the power of God... These experiences can happen more often than not and are so incredible I think it's probably more of a blessing to have experienced one... Because I think it does validate and leaves you with that feeling that not only do we go somewhere better when we move on, but we still seem to function with our physical body and all its senses amongst bricks mortar rubber and steel, thank you for sharing a touching account.
Alyssa11 (3 stories) (12 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-22)
I think this is very special. She was saying goodbye to you, her true friend and letting you know that she was ok. ❤
otteer (8 stories) (398 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-22)
Oh you were so blessed! I can understand why it is hard for you to understand! Oh wow is all I can say... Thanks for sharing this lovely and mysterious story!

Ps...I hope I can do something like that for my loved ones and friends when I pass, gives me hope lol! ❤
Ningmu1806 (2 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
Such a beautiful story... But it's a little sad though... I hope she'll find peace now...
lynrinth (guest)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
How nice to read though a sad story, but a lovely one at that. At least, in a way, it had a happy ending. She was visiting you in a way she probably would have liked you to remember her as. And maybe she was doing an activity she always enjoyed, shopping, when she stopped to say goodbye. You must be a very thoughtful friend for her to have done that. And for other people if they also stopped by to say goodbye. Thank you for sharing. There are happy spirit experiences as well as evil, sad, or scary ones.
KimSouthO (27 stories) (1960 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
To all who commented,
Thank you for the kind words and support. As I said, I am having a hard time with this experieance. If you check my profile, I have had many encounters. It is amazing to me that some of them stay with you more than others.

This one will touch me to the day I die.

God Bless!
cosmogal926 (9 stories) (1223 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
Wow this actually took my breath away. Absolutely amazing. I don't even know what to say accept I am glad you got to see your friend again. I am so sorry for your loss.
BeautInside (3 stories) (326 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
What a beautiful story! I think that was not only her way to say goodbye but also to say that she was going to be ok now that all the pain was gone.

God bless ❤
stephyw2001 (guest)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
Wow, that is so touching! The van and person and everything? That would be so shocking to find out she were in a coma. I'm glad you got to see her like that though.
geetha50 (15 stories) (986 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
I lost a friend to cancer when we were 14 years old. So, I know how it is to lose a friend. Like the other poster have said it was the spirit of your friend making on last stop to you before she found peace. It is truly an honour to have your friend come and visit.

You said that you were with your grandson when you saw Eileen. I take it that your grandson was there also. What did he think of this situation or was he really young to remember it?
dustyisdead (2 stories) (90 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
I've heard of these types of "living ghosts" stories before. I find them even creepier than the ghosts of dead people because doppelgangers and those kinds of things freak me out. I think it's because they are ALWAYS an omen of death.

This one gave you a little peace at the time though. It would terrify me though, but it's good that it helped you.
Vatishi (2 stories) (2 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
That is such a beautiful story. Really touching. You must have had a special place in her heart for her to make her way to you after she passed. 😁
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
Dearest Kim,
What a wonderful, beautiful experience. I believe she came to you looking as she did because she wanted it so badly the whole time. It was obvious she felt uncomfortable about her appearance, so the first chance she got, she made it happen. I believe she merely wanted to leave you with the best possible memory of her that she could. And sweetheart, it's a testament to the friendship you shared over the years that she was able to do it at that time and so well.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us, it is truly humbling.

Jav ❤
troyarn (5 stories) (479 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-21)
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful story. You should feel blessed and happy that she came to you to "say goodbye". Thanks very much for sharing this.
DARKNESS (3 stories) (2022 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-20)
Kim this is a truly amazing experience I can understand why you are still having a hard time with this one? As Miracles mentioned I would feel honored and blessed to have received the visit, she obviously cared a lot for you Kim. I have heard of friends and loved ones who are on the brink of death visiting the people they care about before they pass to say there goodbyes.

Thanks for sharing.

Miracles51031 (39 stories) (4998 posts) mod
11 years ago (2011-09-20)
KimSouthO - What a beautiful story. I believe Eileen made it a point to see you because you had been to see her several times and each time you were unable to.

If I were you, I would feel honored and blessed ❤
Moongrim (2 stories) (871 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-20)
Out of body experience, or a doppelganger doing a good turn for someone. Folks have reported such things before.
KimSouthO (27 stories) (1960 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-20)
I agree with you. I have had many experiences (a lot are shared on this site). It was wonderful to see her, but knowing she was at the hospital at the time I saw her it what is hard for me to wrap my head around.

God Bless!
smurf5584 (3 stories) (5 posts)
11 years ago (2011-09-20)
KimSouth... This was her spirit saying her good bye to you, her dear friend. I have heard that when you pass and appear to someone you always look your best, which would explain why she looked so good. I think this was very sweet. You obviously meant a lot to her for her to visit like that. You are truly lucky to have had that experiance

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