I'm not sure where to begin with this. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I believe in paranormal entities and what I would do if I ever even came across a "spirit" or "demon." All I know is what I've been experiencing the past few months is real. Maybe I'm going crazy, but this is the first time I've found a place where I can share my stories and not feel like I'm insane.
And I apologize for the length of this, it's just, things have become incredibly difficult and stressful as of late and I just need to vent. I also want to note that I'm just mentioning things that I have no explanation for or that I can't find an alternate explanation for.
I recently graduated college and moved back home to take care of my ailing father and look for work. On my down time I like to take pictures of cemeteries - it's nothing morbid - I just appreciate the historical value in cemeteries. I'm also working on a project dealing with segregation and burial grounds; just something to keep my brain working. At first, I attributed a lot of what I've been experiencing to the adjustment of moving back home and the natural creepiness that comes from hanging around in cemeteries. But now, I'm not so sure.
Nothing of real importance happened until after about a week of being at home. I started waking up in the early morning (around 4 a.m.) and I could hear thumping and tapping. I initially attributed the noises to the "settling" of our apartment or my fatigue playing tricks with my mind. But after two weeks of being woken up in this fashion, I began to suspect something more systematic was happening. For one, each time I woke, I was extremely alert, almost that feeling you get when your alarm goes off late. For another, it got to be where I would hear thumping/knocking during the day. But it was weird, it's almost as though it was hard to differentiate between "where" the thumping/knocking was happening. For instance, for a few minutes I could hear steady knocking on the wall next to me, but then it would feel like the knocking was coming from inside of me. It's hard to describe, but that in itself was enough to drive me crazy.
As weeks passed by, other events occurred. Sometimes when I showered, the light would cut off. When this happened, this cold feeling stretched over me. I don't know how to explain it, but it goes beyond getting goosebumps from fear, this is like an actual cold feeling that completely entrenches me. Almost like I'm standing in ice-cold water instead of hot water. When this happened, I was rendered immobile, I could literally not move until the lights came back on.
At first, I thought the electrical problems had to do with faulty wiring or something and I contacted our landlord to take care of the problem. When the electrician came out, he found nothing wrong. Since then, it's been touch and go. Sometimes when I enter a room, the light will turn off, when I go to mess with the switch, the light will switch back on. There would be a week when nothing would happen at all and I would begin to feel at ease again, when the games would continue once more.
But I'm not the only person who has been affected.
My father, for the most part, is sedentary. We have a caretaker who comes in and helps with his cleaning, cooking, and housework - but there's a lot of time when it's just me and him. About a week ago, I was working on my resume in the office nook and he was sitting in a chair facing away from me, watching TV. The big game was on and he was absorbed with it. As I was typing at my computer, I felt my hairs stand up on my neck like when you feel that someone is watching you. I looked up and my father had turned around and was just staring at me. There was no form of recognition in his face, it was just this blank stare and I was definitely startled by his expression. I asked him if he needed anything and he just kept staring at me, not acknowledging my question. I started to get up to go over to him when he instantly turned back around to watch TV. I was taken aback, but I still approached him and asked him if he was ok but he was normal, he didn't even remember looking at me.
This wasn't the only time. Later that same evening, he was sitting in the same chair and I was in the couch opposite of him. I was uploading my pictures onto my computer when I got that feeling again. He was staring straight at me again and his eyes were just, dead. The expression in his eyes is inexplicable, I don't want to be melodramatic and say that it was a "look of hate," but it's certainly not an expression I have ever seen him convey before.
Out of all the strange events that have happened these past few months I've been home, this change in my father's behavior has affected me most. He doesn't say anything during these encounters, he doesn't move, and from what I can recall, he doesn't even blink. He just stares, and it isn't until I move that he snaps out of it. I love and care for my father very much and our relationship has been taking extreme hits since these things have been happening.
I'm sorry again for the length of this, but I think I'm going insane here. I have been losing sleep (most of the time I don't get to sleep until after 5 a.m.), I'm anxious all the time, and I'm wary of even doing simple things like showering. I want to leave the house, but I'm afraid of what kind of father I will face when I get home. I've tried mentioning the staring to my father's doctor but my concerns are dismissed as side effects of medication (though for the 7 years he's been taking the medication he has never displayed those side effects.) Our caretaker, Amy, notices the noises and flickering lights, but like me, she is clueless and skeptical on their cause.
I'm not sure what is happening, if it's paranormal or paranoia, all I can go by is what I feel, and what I feel, is scared. Any help would be greatly appreciated.