First off it's my first time posting a topic like this and I hope you guys will understand my lame English since it's not my number one language. I've been reading other threads and comments here involving incubi/succubi/sex spirits and the reason is I kind of have had the same experience. I know some of you might say they're evil spirits/demons and etc. And I know some say that they aren't, like prayers for example, won't work and that they can be gentle and kind.
I'll start of by saying that I'm not a Christian, I do believe in spirits and such. I believe in the kind of way like, yeah they exist but I don't really pay attention to them or really care. Neither have I encountered any and I can't see them, so this feels pretty random for me. Also, my story is like everyone else is saying, real and I wouldn't waste my time writing it, if it wasn't.
I'm a 20 year old girl, living with my parents and my brother. I have had sleep paralysis like a few times (about 3 - 4 in my life) and usually the gap between them are years. The recent one was about 3 - 4 days ago.
I was lying on my side in bed, facing the wall with my blanket over my head and I could feel someone/something near my bed/door like walking or making some kind of noise. I tried to turn myself but I was paralyzed then I felt pressure against my right arm/side of body and this, whatever it was, whispered in my ear with an evil raspy voice or so it sounded. I didn't understand what it said and being scared, somehow I broke myself free from being paralyzed while trying to elbow whatever it was. Of course there was nothing there when I turned around and I fell back to sleep. Later I woke up again but I was really not conscious and I felt something was humping me from behind while I was sleeping on my stomach. I didn't really pay attention to it neither did I feel anything entering me and I just fell asleep without knowing.
When I woke up the same day I felt really heavy and it felt like I didn't have any energy left. It bothered me because it never happened before, when I had the SP. That's when I started searching about SP and stopped caring after that. Then I ended up here and on the incubi/succubi topic, remembering that I might have had an experience with some entity after the SP. I do remember having sexual experience with some entity before in my dreams or so I believed them to be. It happened a few times and I never really thought about it because it mostly felt like a dream and I was never in my room when it happened. I would be in a random place and it could be a real place or in a "fantasy" place. The thing is, when I realize I'm in this state, I don't know where I am and even though I think it's a dream it feels so real and I would see this "dream" when we're in the middle of the sex part. Of all the times I've had these "dreams" it's been an incubus (if it was one) and I could only see the upper part of his body, up to his neck and jaw but nothing else. He appears to be a human at those times.
The reason why I'm even writing about SP (which I actually wasn't going to with this topic) is because I feel it's connected somehow. And ever since the SP + humping happened I've had this feeling of something near me or shall I say a presence? I have also had these feelings of tingling or pin/needle sticking (lightly) on my body. Sometimes it starts on my feet and then moves up and starts on my legs, eventually starts on my hands too and my chest + private areas. It doesn't always start from my feet to my head, it can start from any part of my body and to be honest I'm still not sure if it really is tingling (needles) or my nerves playing tricks on me. Whenever I leave my room and enter my brothers or any other room, the presence lessens but I can still feel that something is there, following me. The tingling is still there and I must say once it felt like it was pulling my shirts arm but I thought I just twitched and ignored it. I haven't felt anything touching me, like hands or anything. Not even when I'm going to bed and the lights are out but I still have those tingling/needle feelings while trying to sleep and I sometimes feel a presence but it's not much. I don't know if it's cause it just started and the "hands" haven't appeared yet or it's just not an incubus/succubus.
But this morning around 11pm when my brother went to work and I was woken up by him, I tried to fall back to sleep, almost asleep while lying on my stomach I started to feel really hot on my back, well backside of my body to be exact and while I having this hot feeling I also shivered a bit like there was a presence just above or almost pressing against me. Knowing myself I just felt like ignoring it and fell asleep. After a while I woke up or I think I did in this dreaming/half reality state, in the same position as the SP started by what I think was an incubus, grabbing and squeezing my right breast. He squeezed quite hard and it did hurt but I was actually calm and not afraid. At this point I had my eyes closed and I didn't know what I was going do so I just didn't move, I actually didn't try or he was controlling the situation without me knowing. I felt him pulling my arm to the right, which made me lie on my back. I never felt a hand it was more like a force and while lying there I had a feeling that I was in my room, which I haven't been in before. Then he grabbed my thighs and lifted them and entered me... And honestly I never felt him entering in the usual way it was more like in a spiritual way? I could still feel him inside thought. He was rough and it did hurt when he was um pushing. I'm not sure if the reason was because I'm still a virgin or he was just rough. While he was at it I kind of got curious, my eyes were closed but I could still see something. When I looked closer I could see his torso and it was a human torso, just he was all black, like a thick shadow and he didn't make any sounds. Since I was so curious I actually reached out with my hand and touched/felt his abs, the funny thing is, which I can't get, is that my blanket was between as I touched him, I could feel the blanket before I actually felt his abs. I never realized when I fell back to sleep and when I woke up I was in the same position as I fell asleep, on the side, facing the wall.
Being awake after what happened, I kept thinking if it was really happening or not since I woke up in the same position as it started and the tingling and presence feelings have lessened a lot. The tingling kind of stopped but I can feel them a bit, sometimes. And my right breast actually hurts a bit, feels like the upper part of the right breast muscle been stretched. Other than that I still can't figure out how I was able to feel him with the blanket between my hand and his torso, while he was doing it to me (weren't a blanket on that area).
And that's my story; I never wanted it to be long as a novel... Sorry about that and well I'm still not scared or anything, just curious to know what it was and I don't know if it's going to happen again but If it happens, I'll probably try to ignore him in the end. I feel like that's the best thing for me at the moment.
P.S. If you know what it might be, don't be afraid to comment and I also want to know, why incubus/succubus are attracted to some people or what is making them attrack? (No summoning included of course...) and just so you guys know, I'm not sick in any way, not smoking, doing drugs or even drinking (One glass of cider a few times a year... But that's it for me).