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Tore Us Apart


A few years ago, my oldest daughter was preparing to take her First Communion. The church required that parents and godparents attend a two day retreat.

It was during this retreat that my children's father reconnected with God. He was touched by everything he lived that day. I remember seeing him literally brought down to his knees in tears. After the retreat, he started going to Mass every Sunday with my Mom and children. He bought a Bible and signed up for bible study. He even asked me to marry him, he wanted a big Catholic wedding, suddenly he wanted everything blessed by God.

It was right at that time that we started noticing some really scary things happening. Doors would slam on their own, we would feel watched and no matter what we did our house was always freezing cold, day and night. At night, we would hear someone whispering in our bedroom but never found where it was coming from. Our children started having nightmares and their attitude started changing, they weren't as happy anymore. I don't know if it was sleep deprivation, but it's like we were angry and tired all the time. My ex had trouble sleeping, he would complain that something kept waking him up. A couple of times I woke at night to see him peeking out the bedroom window. He said that "he is here to take the children", when I would ask him "who?", he would shush me and would whisper that he was going to hear us. The next day he would wake up like nothing happened and when I would ask him he would laugh and say it was nothing, that he must have been sleep walking.

We were told by a member of our church congregation to set our Bible on our night stand and have it open on a psalm (don't remember which one). We started praying every night before bed. It worked for a little bit. We had a group of people come to our house and help us bless it, then we sat around and prayed and sang hymns and church songs. It was a very peaceful, spiritual night, for the first time in months, we felt safe and thought everything was going to be alright. That is until everyone left and we walked upstairs to our bedroom.

We found the Bible on the floor, it appeared it had been thrown across the room. This scared me so much I refused to go in the bedroom and slept with my children in one bedroom. We had the priest come and bless the house the next day. That seemed to work for a while.

Then we had our big Catholic wedding. As soon as we started with the planning and preparation, the fighting started and didn't stop, we actually fought on our way to church and during all of our 'honeymoon'. It was as if we suddenly hated each other. We went to couples counseling; we got help from the priest of our church and a few church members. Nothing seemed to help.

I remember now that I would look at him and feel absolute hate. It started affecting our children to the point that they got counseling too. It was one of the worst times of our lives. There wasn't one night that one of the children didn't get up and go to our bedroom because they were scared, and would complain that knocking wouldn't let them sleep. We knew they were not making it up, we had heard the knocking too. My oldest slept holding her rosary beads one night, she was so scared, she fell asleep praying. The next morning, she came and asked me if I had taken her rosary beads because they were gone. We looked for them everywhere but we never found them. We tried just about everything to cleanse our home and get our family back but nothing seemed to work. We pretended we were a happy family for appearances, we literally would go to Mass every Sunday and wouldn't even look at each other during the service.

We tried to stay together for as long as we could. We had never talked about separating, we both thought that what God brought together, no one would be able to tear apart. Then one day, without the yelling, without the crying, without the hate, we decided that we had had enough. So, after living together for 12 happy years and 3 miserable ones, he packed his things and left. That night, I slept better than I had in 3 years. After that day, my house felt lighter, was happier and guess what? Me and my 3 children slept through the night, no noise, no knocking, no blankets being pulled. The funny thing is that he says the same thing. He feels more at peace now, he's much happier and he doesn't feel angry any more.

I still have the occasional unexplained occurrence, for as long as I can remember I have seen spirits. But, nothing like what I felt, heard and saw during this time in my life, that was different. I will always wonder what this was. It's as if something did not want us getting close to God. My children have all been baptized, they have had their first communions and confirmations, it's what's expected coming from a very devout Catholic family. I believe in God but I have to say that I am not a religious person. I never go to church or mass anymore, and now that my children are older I have let them choose if they want to go or not.

Does anyone have any thoughts or theories of why this was happening to my family at precisely this time?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Haven, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Haven (20 stories) (307 posts)
5 years ago (2019-06-07)
Hi, Anno-Domini

Your theory makes perfect sense. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, they are very interesting.

The incident where he said they were here to take our daughter was not the only indication that there was some sort of "struggle" going on within him. In the years we lived together I would often see that he was trying really hard to make a happy, "normal" home. I always thought that he was scared that our family was going to be like his family growing up. I just thought his family was not the warm and fuzzy type, I noticed how amazed he would look when he received a gift for Christmas or birthdays, how confused he was when he would hear my family say "I love you" to each other, how awkward he looked when someone hugged him. I always thought his family was kind of "shady" so it wouldn't surprise me if it was confirmed they were into darker stuff. I was never comfortable at his parent's house, I always felt a heaviness and I would literally feel like I couldn't breathe. Almost every time we went to one of his family's gatherings we would end up fighting, he always acted different around them. I feel that is where most of his problems came from.

I truly hope he is happy now. Deep down he is not a bad guy. He tried really hard to keep his family, I tried as well, there are just some things that are not meant to be. Me, well I'm in a good place right now. My faith in God is really strong, it's religion that I have "issues" with.
Anno_Domini (3 stories) (167 posts)
5 years ago (2019-06-06)
Hi Haven, I have some thoughts on this. If, as you say the phenomenon was brought about by your ex-husband's interest to turn to God, I suspect that he has / had a previous history of relationship with (a) "spiritual entity (ies) " i.e. Demon (s).

What this relationship is / was, only he will be able to tell you. It might have taken a revelational (ouija board, tarrot, etc) / sexual / companionship / transactional (let me talk to you and I'll help you in your job / business / etc) / or even unwanted (pest) nature. Over time, he might have allowed the entity to be more involved in his life, and it became more "entrenched" with him. I see the incident where he said "he is here to take the children" as indication of this as the intention of the entity (lies) was communicated to your ex.

Leading up to the baptism of your child, your husband may have wanted to "negate the contract", so to speak, with the aforementioned entity, and truly turn to God. Like you mentioned, this phenomenon started at the time that he made the decision to follow God. It goes without saying that God (the Holy Spirit) and the demon can't co-exist in / around your husband.

Now if we take a step back, you'll notice that the reason he followed this path toward God is because of you and your family. So to "remove" his motivation of turning to God would ostensibly keep your ex in his "contract" to the entity. And thus the mayhem ensued. Making your family's life difficult was a way of driving him away from you. I believe that at this stage you would have befitted from the counsel of a pastor or priest who's informed in demonic influence, but everything happens in God's time.

These kinds of spiritual battles are tough to overcome, but always possible with God's help through a pastor or priest (I have more of my thoughts on my profile -- please read). I pray that yours and your family's relationship with God will grow stronger despite & as a consequence of this. Prayers also for your ex to become, and remain free of his oppression (it is not clear if he is really free of his oppression or he's just saying that to make you happy).
BeautInside (3 stories) (326 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-31)
Hi Haven,

Yes, the timing was definitly perfect, so it might remain a mystery.😉
You came out strong and everybody is happy now, but I can imagine the ordeal of everything happening at the same time. 😨 Guess the old saying is right: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". 😉

Take care. ❤
Haven (20 stories) (307 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-31)
Hi, BeautInside -

I don't know for sure if the paranormal experiences had anything to do with the end of my relationship, I guess I'll never know for sure. I have to say though, the timing was perfect.

I can now say that I am truly happy. My children and I have gone through some rough patches, it wasn't always smooth sailing. My youngest daughter suffered some bad episodes of sleep paralysis and sleep walking, I think it had to do with her missing her dad. I had 3 teenagers living under the same roof at one time, you can imagine the energy that manifested from that. Aside from that, throw in that I am a walking magnet for spirits. You can say that we have had our fair share of weirdness

Thanks for reading and for your comments. ❤ 😁
BeautInside (3 stories) (326 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-30)
Hi Haven,

Paranormal or not, unfortunately it's a common situation around here. I know of family members (cousins to be precise) and a few friends that were on a happy, long term relationship for many years and after getting married things took a turn for the worst. Not to mention those that I heard about...

I am not convinced that those paranormal events caused the end of your marriage, I'd go for those events happening simultaneously with the unfortunate path your relationship was taking. For what I can understand you've always had a connection with religion, like you said your children have been baptized and had 1st Cummonion, and these are also events that (for those who believe) bring you closer to God, however there was nothing getting in your way.

After breaking up, your children, you and you ex felt lighter and happier, and in my opinion the relationship was taking a toll in all of you because unfortunately some feelings change over the time, some for the better and some for the worst.

So I think that your paranormal experiences weren't exactly conected to the end of your relationship, but this is just my opinion and maybe I'm wrong. 😉

All that matters is that all of you are happy. ❤
Haven (20 stories) (307 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-28)
Hi, Raseco62.

I'm not sure why I have experienced paranormal activity most of my life. I have been told many different theories. Sometimes without asking. I have been approached several times by random people that ask me if I want to know why I see the things I do. I have to say that you are the first to tell me about existing in a higher dimensional plain.

As far as my ex goes, not sure what kind of attachment he had. What I am sure of is that there was no abuse towards me, at least not the physical. The worse we did to each other was fight all the time and make each other miserable for 3 years. BUT, what you said about my ancestors not liking him reminds me of an incident that happened (not related to this story). A few months ago, I was dating this guy, he seemed really nice at first. He went with me to my mom's house and was helping with some handy work. We had been painting the house all day, my kids and I went to pick something up to eat, he stayed in the house finishing up. When we got back he was sitting on the front porch, white as a... Well, ghost. Apparently he was in the living room painting when a heavy stereo speaker "flew" at him and almost struck him. He refused to go back inside the house. A few weeks later I found out from a friend that knew his ex-wife that he was a real piece of work. I was already getting some bad vibes so I immediately stopped seeing him. Seems like something in my house did not like him.

Thank you for your advice.
Haven (20 stories) (307 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-28)
Hola Lady, gracias por comentar.

My ex's personality changed dramatically during those three years after we married. He was so angry all the time, he always seemed irritated and on edge. I remember one morning I woke up and he was standing by the closet taking clothes out of the hangers. I asked him a simple "what are you doing?", within seconds he grabbed a bunch of plastic hangers and turned around and threw them at me. I had just enough time to cover my face with the blanket or he would have really hurt me. He walked up to me and was really angry and was trying to pull the blanket from my face. My kids walked in at that point and he stopped. He then asked us if we were hungry and if we wanted to go out for breakfast. I think his actions scared him as much as they scared me, we talked and that is when we decided to separate. He moved out that day.

We had very little contact after that day, we talked a few times and he seemed to be doing good. My children have not seen their father in 3 years even though we lived in the same city. He only speaks to my youngest daughter through FaceBook and not so often. My daughter asked him why he doesn't reach out to her siblings, he says he's afraid to. I took that to mean he feels guilty for not staying in touch with them, he doesn't want to feel rejected by them. He re-married and has a 7 month old daughter so I guess he's doing okay.

De nuevo, gracias por leer my experiencia y comentar.
Haven (20 stories) (307 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-28)
Hi, Caz

I have wondered the same thing. It was also suggested by several people from our congregation. Things started happening immediately after he got involved with the Church, our relationship went sour as soon as we decided to have a religious ceremony.

Thank you for reading!
Haven (20 stories) (307 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-28)
Hi, RCRuskin

Yes, what you say makes sense and does help.

I remember feeling like a heavy weight had been lifted when we separated. A family member asked my oldest daughter if she wished her parents got back together. Her answer was no. She said she liked that I looked happier and younger now that I wasn't living with her father.

Thanks for reading!
Raseco62 (4 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-28)
Obviously, your intuitive to ghostly apparition which means that your actually existing in a dimensional plain usually higher than most people and that's a realistic reason why you been experiencing the paranormal occurrences, for so many years.

However, this means that you, your house (Family members) and inhabitable locations (home) basically has attachments to the supernatural and therefore everyone in your household can or will experience similar paranormal experiences.

It also sounds like these apparitions experiences are your departed elders (uncle, aunts or other family members). These apparitions appear to be benevolent except your ex-Spouse he was attechef with a malevolent ghostly apparition because unfortunately he has a questionable behavioral or a reputable (wife abuse) characteristics that was detested by these ghostly apparitions that perhaps reside and care about you.

It's apparent that your husband was dealing with a critical and troublesome conviction arriving from a past crucial and questionable incident and joining the Catholic Church and perhaps repentance was the best answer for him, regardless of his paranormal ghostly attached apparition circumstances - it a big red flags.

My recommendation is always repent during your daily prayers and you should never feel that you need to step away from our Lord God Jesus Christ or your catholic faith, and asked your household to practice daily repentance including your immediate love ones - reminder paranormal apparition attachments usually means that someone close you, yourself and your past history needs to brain storm and try to findout who in your immediate life has a questionable reputation character that warrant you to experience these ongoing paranormal occurrences - perhaps someone you grew up with. Paranormal attachments are no laughing matter.

Also, contact a medium for assistance and asked them to communicate with the existing ghostly apparition attached to you and your home and get as much answers to there paranormal attachments. If it's not anyone you know or care to have in your home. Therefore, have the medium ask them to leave you, your family and home alone. Your welcome to politely say "leave us alone".

I am a powerful intuitive (medium) that has a supernatural empowerment to assist individuals with their paranormal circumstances - however, some individuals paranormal occurrences are warranted and there very little anyone can assist with. Always ask these attached individuals to repent daily and get assistance from their church clergy. Their family and friends should pray for them and see if they need any assistance with mental health services.
lady-glow (16 stories) (3163 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-28)
Hola Haven - your experience makes me wonder if a parasitic/symbiotic entity was feeding from your ex-husband's energy and saw religion as a threat to end its free-loading days. One not bad enough as to take completely over him, but not ready to cross over and face whatever they think it's waiting for them at the other side of the veil.

Did your ex's personality change during those three years, if so, did he go back to his normal self after the separation?
Is he still religious?

Intriguing and interesting, as all of your experiences.
Caz (342 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-27)
Hi Haven,
I really haven't a clue, but these are my thoughts. You lived happily together for 12 years and then your partner suddenly went totally overboard with the religeous thing. This might sound crazy, but I was wondering if because of that, something like maybe a poltergeist had attached itself to him. That might at least explain why everything calmed down after he left!
RCRuskin (9 stories) (829 posts)
5 years ago (2019-05-27)
Hi, Haven.

This is disturbing on so many levels. Yet it also matches my experiences exactly with what happens when The Deceiver, the Father of Lies, tries to destroy something: a family, a person's life, etc.

Yet also, it need not be something that so overtly comes from 'him'. Many years ago, decades even, a lady joined our parish, and her then boyfriend also converted, they wed, had children, and we became good friends until they moved away. He worked as an electrician. A few years after this, just before I started grad school, she came back and looked years younger than I remember he looking when she married her now ex-husband.

Marriage may be an ideal estate, but it does not always follow that a given marriage is a true blessing.

Hope this rambling, incoherent message helps.

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